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how can i get my bf to go to the formal wif me

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey everyone, how r u all?
plz help me out!
i hav a formal in september and i asked my bf to go to the formal wif me, but he said no. it was all kinda planed out at the end of last yr that we were goin to go to the formal wif each other. but the other day wen i asked him when his formal, he said he didnt no and that he didnt care coz he doesnt like formals and his not goin :( so i was like ok thats fine its his formal and if he doesnt want to go then its fine wif me. and a couple of days later i was lik do u wanna go to the formal wif me n he was lik i told u i dont lik formals. i reali wanna go to the formal and i reali wanna go wif him. wat am i goin to do? can some help me out plz?
:(

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Maybe I am dumb but that didn't make much sense to me :confused:
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I didnt understand either. Try again without using the text talk, and explain what a formal, and we'll try and help :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I understood. Guessing you're formal is a kind of prom/dance thing? You're boyfriend doesn't want to go his and is refusing to go to your one. The only thing I can think of would be to tell him that it's important to you that he's there. If he still says no, go anyway and have fun by yourself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry guys
    a formal is like a prom where you dress up in formal dresses and suits.
    i have always wanted to go to a formal. at the end of last year my boyfriend and i were talkin about this years formal. and we were talk about how great it is goin to be and i told him how much goin to a formal would mean to me. so then we agreed to go to each others formal this year (we go to different schools and most year 12 have formals). but early this year i asked him whens his formal and he said he doesnt no and he doesnt care because he doesnt like formals and his not goin to go. so i was like ok thats fine, its his formal and is choice. then a couple of days later i found out when our (my schools formal) is, so that night i called my boyfriend and asked him to go to my formal with me and he said he has already told me he doesnt like formals and his not goin to any of them. we've had many fight over this topic and he still doesnt want to go. he knows how much this formal means to me (especially going with him) and his still not going to go. grrrr :mad: :( i really want to go to this formal with him and i dont know how to get him to go with me! plz help me out.
    sorry about before
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Infinite
    I understood. Guessing you're formal is a kind of prom/dance thing? You're boyfriend doesn't want to go his and is refusing to go to your one. The only thing I can think of would be to tell him that it's important to you that he's there. If he still says no, go anyway and have fun by yourself.

    Aaaaaaahhhhh...I see now :)

    As Infinate said, just tell him it is important that he is there. My boyfriend didnt come to my prom for one reason or another. I went on my own, had a fantastic time. But I made sure he knew that I really wanted him there. And maaaaaan does he feel guilty about it now.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Give and take. If you really want to go would it be so wrong to go with a group of friends? If he doesn't want to go and is eventually forced to go he probably won't have a good time. And in the end even make it worse for you than it would have been if he didn't go in the first place. Forcing people to go places they don't want to is only ment for disaster.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks guys
    but the thing is all my friends are goin with a date and if i dont go with a date i know i will feel kind of left out, especially when my friends are bring their boyfriends (you know what i mean;)). like moonshine said "man does he feel guilty now", lol , well my bf does already feel guilty but that isnt goin to change his mind. he asked me to stop talkin about it with him because it upsets him and makes him feel guilty.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Has he ever been to a formal before? Why does he not like them? If there is a valid reason for him not liking them (not that I can think of an example right now) then maybe you should accept the fact he doesnt want to go. Maybe take a male friend as your date instead.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I got stood up at my leaving prom thing (oh how I laughed) and I still had a nice night. Admittedly that's because there was a free bar but I'm sure that you're friends won't leave you out. Not everyone goes to these things with a date so they're will probably be a ton of people to talk to.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MoonShiner
    Has he ever been to a formal before? Why does he not like them? If there is a valid reason for him not liking them
    thats the problem, he hasnt been to a formal before, and when i ask why he doesnt like formals he would say something like "i just dont like formals", see this is what pisses my off the most, he doesnt have a reason
    i mean i luv the guy and every thing but...i just dont know what to do with him sometimes
    :mad: grrrrrrrrrrrr
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    go with your friends! if he doesn't want to go, he doesn't want to go.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Take another bloke.

    Simple.

    Clarify to your boyfriend that it's just platonic, ie. you're just taking a male friend and it doesn't mean anything, but that you really want to go with a date, not just on your own or with friends. He knows that you really wanted him to go, so in all fairness he couldn't really complain. But it would make him think twice about not coming, and it would also mean you'd enjoy the ball a lot more!

    I'm sure you have a male friend who wouldn't mind accompanying you for a laugh?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by my_name
    Give and take. If you really want to go would it be so wrong to go with a group of friends? If he doesn't want to go and is eventually forced to go he probably won't have a good time. And in the end even make it worse for you than it would have been if he didn't go in the first place. Forcing people to go places they don't want to is only ment for disaster.

    I`m not sure I agree. I mean, would it really kill him to go, knowing it`s important to her? It`s ONE night of his life.

    He probably has a reason, but he`s not telling you what it is. I agree, take another bloke.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by chillar
    thats the problem, he hasnt been to a formal before, and when i ask why he doesnt like formals he would say something like "i just dont like formals", see this is what pisses my off the most, he doesnt have a reason
    i mean i luv the guy and every thing but...i just dont know what to do with him sometimes
    :mad: grrrrrrrrrrrr

    I've never gone to a formal before - I've done disco things from primary/secondary school, and the kind of summer ball from highschool but I didn't really enjoy them.

    The main reason I don't like going is that I don't enjoy dressing up smartly and pretending to be something I'm not. Why should I put a suit on and pretend that I should be respected, when I'd be the first guy in a queue to sell cigarettes to little kids. (Well I don't do that, but it's an expression).

    Maybe he's similar - he doesn't feel like wearing a suit is him. Also, can he dance? I can't dance too well (:() so don't enjoy the night sitting doing nowt.

    If he doesn't want to go, leave him. Just make sure he knows you're upset and maybe he'll turn up out of the blue :)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I totally agree that you should take another bloke! Although I wouldn't bother with the 'don't worry, it's just platonic' thing, I'd just go. :D
    If he can't offer you an explanation as to why he doesn't want to go with you, you don't owe him any explanation as to why you're taking another guy....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Perhaps him not going to the formal means as much to him as you going to the formal means to you... if you get my meaning.

    Perhaps he doesn't want to go and be gawped at by people he doesn't even know? It would take some nerves to go to another school's formal. There is always the risk of him being left alone whilst you talk to other people, and thr questioning glances of people he doesn't know.

    Also, perhaps he doesn't like them because he doesn't want to dress and act a certain way?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Some guys don't like trying to 'polish up', because they're scared it won't be good enough. Everyone goes there to look their best and it's the ultimate comparison oppurtunity. If a guy just goes out he can just dress casual, and if there's another guy thre who looks better or something he can think to himself "well, I didn't make any effort, if I did I'd look much nicer".

    I don't know.. that's just what would run through my ehad. Oh and also if I went to one of those things I wouldn't be able to afford it - all the suits, limos, everything!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    Oh and also if I went to one of those things I wouldn't be able to afford it - all the suits, limos, everything!

    LOL :D haha... what suits? what limos?
    if i go to the formal with my bf we wouldnt arrive at the formal in suits and limos! haha :D we would probably dress in cool punkish cloths instead and arrive in a fire truck, a ice cream van or something like that. its a year 12 formal, our last year of school, we would want to do something fun to remember it by.
    LOL :D
    im not one of the fancy chicks thats just wanna dress up (well...i do like dressing up) and you know what i mean...hopefully...
    for those fancy chicks out there that do like dressing up, don't take what i said the wrong way plz...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by perfect***day
    Take another bloke.

    I'm sure you have a male friend who wouldn't mind accompanying you for a laugh?

    find a gay guy safe bet he'll hve to trust you


    unless your bf got into wen he came, he wont be having a good time, so some other comapny could be a good idea
    some guys don't like trying to 'polish up', because they're scared it won't be good enough. Everyone goes there to look their best and it's the ultimate comparison oppurtunity

    very true too i feel like that and im not tall nor am i that stunning or have great hair or are built, and i dont normally ooze self confidence, its why i didnt go my uni ball and partly why i spent that weekend going out to brighton meeting ladies :p
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