Do you think it's ok to have sex with someone you don't love?

Former Member

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Former Member

Originally posted by RachaelHolmes:
I've often found myself asking myself the above question, especially when I've been going out with someone who I don't love and been having sex with him.

People you love, people you care for, people you know and people you don't.

Society doesn't agree, but as far as I'm concerned it's OK - as long as its a coercion free informed choice.

For me the feelings with each type are very different, but usually good.

Having sex with someone to shut them up tends to be bad.

Former Member

hmmm I'd probably b a virgin if I hadnt had sex with ppl i dont love.

Former Member

So long as you're aware of the whole situation and you're not doing it irresponisbly, then I guess it's OK. Doing it because it makes you feel worth something etc, is also a bad idea.

Former Member

Theres nothing wrong with having sex with some one you dont love, plenty of people do it, me for one.

As long as you dont tell someone that you do love them youve done nothing wrong.

Former Member

I totally think its ok too. Although they can be linked, sex and love are two separate things.

Former Member

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Former Member

i don't think i've ever been in love but i'm not a virgin so i guess i can't critiscise you, but be careful its a dangerous game. i was having sex and in a kinda relationship with a guy i didn't love, trouble was, he loved me and the whole situation turned very sour and he ended up calling me a selfish little whore and never spoke to me again. it wasn't that i ever told him i loved him, he just assumed i felt the same. don't get into that situ, its a nightmare!
love and peace to you all. xxx

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Girl-From-Mars

whizzygirl, i dont envy you for that situation!!

i havent ever had sex with anyone i dont love , so i cant say from experience. but as long as you both know the score about it being a bit of fun and as logn as nothing like whizzy's experience happens, then i dont see theres anything wrong! some people hate the idea of sex without love.. but as long as both people know what theyre doing it for and no one gets hurt i dont really see the problem.

Former Member

I think the secret is just to be honest - if you make clear what your intentions are, then there's no room for misunderstanding. It's better to be explicit about these things than assume something.

Former Member

my ex-husband used to call it "recreational sex"

j9
PS I suppose that's as opposed to creational sex lol

Former Member

I think that it is definitely ok if both people are in it for the same reason (lust, not love)

I call it casual sex, as in, a casual arrangement, know what i mean?

MDB10122000
THE TIME IS NOW

Former Member

A lot of MP's think it's ok, though i doubt it's free! lol.

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BaRt
Live Life On The Edge!

Former Member

personally i don't believe in it - i believe it should be special, between two people who really care about each other. This is also probably why i'm a 19 yr old male virgin. and i'm not going to lose my virginity until both the time and the person are right.

Former Member

no the reason ur a 19 yr old male virgin ius cos ur a goth

Former Member

ROFLMAO!! How did you manage to come to that conclusion Daze?? I can't quite make the leap of logic that that requires!!

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Viti kuin muuri.

Former Member

It's part of a discussion on another topic somewhere.

Daze, LAY OFF MALKAV AND BE NICE!


Or you'll wake up with black lipstick and nail varnish and a white painted face. Promise. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

Former Member

I suppose it's perfectly ok to sleep with someone you don't love, as long as you and your partner know what it's all about and nobody will get hurt. Love and lust are 2 different things. It seems like the vast majority of men think that wanting a girl doen't necessarily mean loving her, while many women tend to fall in love with guys they sleep with.
I reckon it's right to enjoy yourself and be careful at the same time. If I only had sex with people I loved, I'd be still a virgin too I suppose <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt; 'Cos true love only happens 1-2-3 times in your life and you might only meet your true love when you are old and wrinkly or something...
And how are you supposed to get that experience that everybbody wants if you don't practise it with anyone?
At first I felt that sex linked me with my partner emotionally and I'd suffer if he ignored me later <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; but now my attitude has changed. So girls we have to watch out!

Former Member

i don't even do all the dressing up and the makeup and things and i've only really started getting into the goth scene in the last couple of months so that throws your theory right out of the window doesn't it daze


anyway back to topic

i don't know, when it comes to sex my ideas are fairly old fashioned. but saying that i've never actually ever been propositioned (even my ex refused to even let me kiss her i later found out why and will never forgive the bitch). so i don't know how i'd react if it should ever happen. but i do know even if i did sleep with someone i didn't love i'd still be quite picky i wouldn't just sleep with anyone (unlike most blokes) i suppose you could say that when it comes to sex and love and all that i think very much like a girl

Former Member

Originally posted by MaLkAv:
(even my ex refused to even let me kiss her i later found out why and will never forgive the bitch

How come you call her your ex-girlfriend if you haven't even kissed properly? It doesn't make sense

Former Member

j9 - because it sounds better than never having had a gf full stop.

Former Member

Originally posted by MaLkAv:
j9 - because it sounds better than never having had a gf full stop.

I'm flattered, but I didn't ask the question, it was Anele.

Originally posted by Anele:
How come you call her your ex-girlfriend if you haven't even kissed properly? It doesn't make sense.

j9

Former Member

Originally posted by j9j9:
Originally posted by MaLkAv:
because it sounds better than never having had a gf full stop.

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I'm flattered, but I didn't ask the question, it was Anele.


quote:

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Originally posted by Anele:
How come you call her your ex-girlfriend if you haven't even kissed properly? It doesn't make sense.

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j9 - hehe <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

I've been wondering when it's actually suitable to call someone your b/f or g/f... After your second date? After your first shag? After you both talk and agree on this?
Or when your mates label you two an item? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

Former Member

there's nothing wrong with that, if that's how you want to be just so long as youre careful. but i would prefer someone that i trust.

Former Member

there's nothing wrong with that, if that's how you want to be just so long as youre careful. but i would prefer someone that i trust.

Former Member

Originally posted by Anele:
j9 - hehe <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

I've been wondering when it's actually suitable to call someone your b/f or g/f... After your second date? After your first shag? After you both talk and agree on this?
Or when your mates label you two an item? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

I only call some one my partner when we have agreed to be exclusive and have talked about the fact that we are together and having a relationship.

Sleeping with someone doesnt neccesarily mean you are together and if i was going out with all the guy my mates labelled us as an item i would have hundreds of boyfriends!
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

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Eyes are the window to ones heart....Tears are the proof that you have one.