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single people

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Sorry if I sound ignorant or patroninsing but what do single people do in the evenings?

I was in a relationship for over five years and we've recently spilt. I've found myself with nothing to do. During the week I usually went out with my boyfriend four nights a week and with my friends two nights a week. The other night I spent studying. Now I can still only see my mates those two nights a week (for fear or Simone overload!) so what do I do for the rest of the week?

Sorry I can imagine how stupid this question is, but I'm not used to this, and right now I would like to hear anything that can help me in my quest to feel normal again! :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    stay in relax enjoy your own company
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree, chill out!

    Order yourself a takeaway, sit in front of the TV. Veg out, have a long bath, eat ice cream, whatever!

    If you have stuff to do, use the time to get it done, then you have more free time for when your friends are free too.

    ....Or just sit and talk to people on an internet messageboard :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Or you could do what the rest of us do.

    Sit in most nights wishing we had a partner.........

    Sorry you broke up by the way, cant be easy to deal with.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Chill, watch tv listen to music etc, also i go out with my mates a lot :yes:
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    when dave is away i end up going to the cinema lots (yes ... i go on my own) or i tend to read alot or watch the tv. yes ... it may sound boring but i actually like my own company most of the time :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who sometimes goes to the cinema on my own. As Jason Mraz says, sometimes you need a date with youself, go see a movie, have a nice dinner.
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    littlemissylittlemissy Posts: 9,972 Supreme Poster
    Originally posted by Songbird
    I'm glad I'm not the only one who sometimes goes to the cinema on my own. As Jason Mraz says, sometimes you need a date with youself, go see a movie, have a nice dinner.

    ive not got the courage to go out for dinner our out to the pub on my own but cinema, yes, coffee shops, museums, art galleries, mcdonalds ... i dont have many friends so i tend to do alot on my own. i dont mind it either. it means i can do what i want, when i want and how i want :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by littlemissy
    ... i dont have many friends so i tend to do alot on my own. i dont mind it either. it means i can do what i want, when i want and how i want :)

    :yes: yup yup.

    I used to do that a lot, going out on my own, doing whatever the hell I wanted. now I'm too shy and insecure and paranoid to go out alone :/:blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When I'm not out with my friends (which most of the time I am) I usually listen to music on the net, exercise or give myself facials and the whole bit.






    other times I will go to my guilty pleasure of ebay :blush:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You'll have to do what most of us do. Spend too much time on here posting drivel. :(
    At least you do go out doing things on your own, which is better than sitting in all the time.

    I'm glad I'm not the only one who ends up going to the cinema on their own fairly often. I go about once a month on average to see a film on my own. I try to get people interested at work, but they can never seem to agree on a time or date. So I'd rather go and see it on my own that risk missing seeing it at the cinema.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    So I'd rather go and see it on my own that risk missing seeing it at the cinema.

    Cinemaring on your own is not a bad thing IMO. I mean really the only times you talk during a film are at the start during the ads and trailers, during the orange advert to say "MAKE ME BLEEEED" or whatever the funny catchphrase is, and then at the end after it's finished. Aside from that viewing the film at a cinema is not really a talking time, so whilst it might be nice to go with someone else for other reasons I don't think you miss out if you go alone.

    As far as other things go, you can go for walks, watch tv, make food, visit your friends, play games, read and sleep.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I agree with the others to a certain extent - stay in, watch TV, relax, and enjoy your own company because it's been a while since you did that; get to know yourself a bit more and get used to being on your own. Chill out, listen to music, laze and eat lots.

    BUT although you say you can't go out with your friends much more than you used to, I've tended to find that being single means you tend to 'network' a lot more. That is, you'll see your normal friends, but also it becomes more important/interesting to meet new people - so you'll make new friends, and maybe go out with them. Make more of an effort to keep in touch with old friends, be introduced to new people, and try going out with them and broadening your social circle. It's something you don't bother with so much when you're in a relationship, but that's always good to do when you're single!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I smoke, drink, and smoke some more.
    Hope is deader than dead.
    But I try not to think about women often; it's just depressing.

    You can have fun on your own, granted you've had a mate before so it won't nessisarily be the same but watch movies, hang out with friends, keep busy. And when you don't want to do all that other stuff just sleep, let your dreams take you to your fantasy. Alas, they are only dreams.

    Sure a girlfriend would be nice, probably one of the best things and feelings in the world.

    Just chill out and have fun.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I so know what you mean.
    I'm 16 and I went out with my boyfriend for a year and 2 months (which is along time when your 16) he was everything to me and when we split up in January, I had nothing to do. As I dont have very good friends and never have, I found it really hard to fill up my time. But now, I still think of all the time I used to spend with my boyfriend, but I enjoy my own company and even went shopping on my own the other day and it was really successful.
    Sorry I aint been much help, but just enjoy the time you have on your own cos it wont last forever cos you'll find another partner and you wont have enough time for yourself!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Blnde_BombShell
    other times I will go to my guilty pleasure of ebay :blush:

    Nooooo eBay is evil! It makes you do strange things...like bidding for something you know you'll never use :rolleyes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry if I sound ignorant or patroninsing but what do single people do in the evenings?

    Whatever they want, sounds kinda selfish but it's one of the upsides of being single.

    also there's a couple of people who goto the cinema on there own (me included) anyone ever being bowling on there own??
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Stinger
    anyone ever being bowling on there own??




    ha!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Stinger
    anyone ever being bowling on there own??

    Probably the only way I would win...

    I know it sounds like a really cheesy thing to say but you could try an evening class or something. When one of my friends split up with her boyfriend she decided to learn sign language, she really enjoyed it and met some new people. It really does sound like dodgy chat show advice but it worked for her.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Strikly speaking I'm not entirely single but as I've not seen my man since September I feel qualified to answer you question!

    In term time I am usually doing uni related work until I go to bed. Or I go out with friends. Go to the cinema. Go shopping (we can do that til late here). Go for walks. Go to pubs. Go to clubs. Go to my friends and just chat about whatever. Go to the students union. Go to dance classes. Phone friends. Shop online. Look at expensive things that I cannot afford online. Look at flights to places that I cannot afford to go online. Accidently buy flights online. Search for random things on e-bay that I have no desire to buy or own (ok maybe that's me cos I'm a little bit odd). Look at jobs online that I might one day be qualified to do. See how many free samples I can blag online. Write letters to people. E-mail people. Chat on msn to people. Have hot chocolate with people. Get into pointless fights about irrelevant things with the people I live with. Watch DVD's. Watch videos. Eat twix bars. And snickers. Make bread. And soup.

    Do you never do anything with other friends who are not your current boyfriend?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Randomgirl
    Accidently buy flights online.

    ha x74564
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ok. I know. But I genuinely went online to buy a CD.

    I had absolutely no intention of buying a flight but instead of typing "cheap CD's" on Google my fingers got confused and typed "cheap flights" and the next thing I knew my debit card details had been entered, I was £620 lighter and had a ticket for a flight to Brazil- to Sao Paulo which by complete coincidence happens to be where my gorgeous (ex)boyfriend lives.

    What can I say. Accidents happen. :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, after 5 years I can imagine it's going to be hard for you to adjust to being single - try doing things for you for a change, see your friends more, pamper yourself, go shopping, watch telly, just do things you might of found you were unable to do or restricted in doing so when you weren't single.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    At first keep busy, see your mates more than usual, hang out at their place.

    Make new friends

    Do an evening class or throw yourself into a hobby new or neglected.

    Exercise

    Also learn to enjoy your own company again, be truly selfish :)

    and all the usual suspects: TV, films, books, music, internet

    Believe me it gets easier Xx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Susie
    Believe me it gets easier Xx
    Thanks Susie.

    Is anyone still friends with their ex?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by RudeBwoy
    Sit in most nights wishing we had a partner.........
    Sad, ain't it? :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee
    Is anyone still friends with their ex?
    Don't do it! :shocking:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BumbleBee

    Is anyone still friends with their ex?
    When I split up with my boyfriend we parted on good terms and remained friends. But now we are kind of getting back together again.

    I know people who have stayed friends with their ex and it has worked. I think there is an article on this on another section of this website.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah i'm still friends with my ex, so it can work
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    Don't do it! :shocking:
    Why?

    Not even when we share the same friends? Because that would leave one of us without any friends...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    To answer the original question. When I was in a relationship that broke up after a long time, I found it hard to adjust to being on my own many evenings. I tried to use the time constructively. I made a website. I started going to evening classes one night a week. I got a part time job. I got in touch with friends who I had lost contact with, that was the best thing.

    You can also look after number one- you can go to sleep when you want to, not when they decide they are tired and turn the light out. You can watch what you like on TV and not have to endure cack like robot wars and dire channel 5 films.

    It is hard to adjust, but after a while you appreciate having your own space! I did anyway.

    Oh and I'm not friends with any of my exes. I did stay in contact with one for 5 years but I don't know that I would class him as a friend. I'm sure people can manage to do it, but I have tended to end up so hurt at the end of a relationship I can't handle seeing that person. It hurts that someone can be such a big part of your life and then you never see them again, but I've moved on..
    I guess it depends how much you are "friends" with that person. In some relationships it's just a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. With others (and I think it is like that for you bumblebee), they are like your best friend, you can talk to them, they know everything about you.

    A friendship like that is worth holding onto if you can do it without getting hurt by not being together.
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