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what am i doing wrong?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
last night i went back to a male mates house and we ended up in bed together. and i just felt so diry and horrible, just like i did with my last boyfriend. it's horrible. why? i don't even really like this guy and he thinks i do. i always seem to go with guys that i don't really actually like. theres still one long running love that i have, though thats kinda been put to the back of my mind as he's not going to go out with anyone, and he doesn't really like me but he's never really told me that........
theres one other guy i like but i'm wondering if it's just because he was being so nice to me when i had my ex fucking me around. but then again he is a nice guy. i've been trying to get his number but i can't.
i just have no faith in guys any more, it's horrible, i feel like i can't trust myself or them. i seem to always fall for guys who help me out, and i end up just feeling very used and abused.
how can i stop feeling so dirty?
i hate it................
theres one other guy i like but i'm wondering if it's just because he was being so nice to me when i had my ex fucking me around. but then again he is a nice guy. i've been trying to get his number but i can't.
i just have no faith in guys any more, it's horrible, i feel like i can't trust myself or them. i seem to always fall for guys who help me out, and i end up just feeling very used and abused.
how can i stop feeling so dirty?
i hate it................
0
Comments
I know how you feel exactly. Although something that a friend did to me recently when he thought I was sleeping (it was really horible and twisted and wrong) and I felt so...disgusted and, it has once again aided my loss of faith in men!! But remember, they're not all bad, it's just hard tofind the right ones!
I think that part of you is insecure, searching for some sort of intimacy and closeness and with a friend you can sorta, skip all the nice-itys and well, skip to the other stuff which at the end of day holds none of the niceness and closeness you want, just meaningless sex which makes you feel used and sad. That feeling of horribleness and dirtyness will fade soon, the idea and the feelings will stick with you, but use them as a reminder that you must look after yourself better and learn to draw lines.
Do not feel bad at not feeling like you can trust blokes. One or two bad apples corrupt it for the rest of them but, when you find someone, they shouldn't expect instant trust from you, so be weary but when it feels right, be willingly to give a little and lay a little trut on them to test the waters, before going whole hog.
The nice guy, you can never be sure if they are there just because you're vulnerable, and you're probably feeling quite vulnerable which is why you think of him. But the again, the fact he was there when you needed him may make him a genuinly nice guy so, it might still be worth tracking him down, getting to know him a bit before letting your guard. If you don't tell him about whats just happened, until later on when you're more sure of him, then at least you'd know that he is a genuine guy and not someone using your sadness and feelings of abuse and used-ness to score with you.
Hope that helps,
HUMUNGOUS HUGS!!
Malt xxx
How come this is the blokes fault? He tried it on with you like any red-blooded male would. You could of said no. Then he would of left it. So whys it his fault you said yes?
It's so horrible to feel like that! You know that you can say 'no' when it's the cold light of day but when you're in the heat of the moment...
You just have to train your mind to stop you for a moment and think, 'Hang on, do I really want this?'. Saying 'no' at that point will be far less worse than how you're feeling now.
Anyway, it's happened now and you should try not to dwell on it. You're human, you make mistakes. Just as being human meant you wanted sex. Don't let that make you feel dirty! Is the fact that you let yourself down what's really bothering you? If it is, don't take it out on the guys... as you know, there are some pretty good ones out there!
My advice is to spend some time in female company- you never know, other girlies might be able to share some experiences that'll make you feel better about your own!
Good luck, hope this helped in some way.
K x
I know you wont follow my advice but if you really feel that bad after having sex then the answer is quite simple . . .
it was the person and the way it happened that made me feel like this i think. the situation wasn't great, and i'm telling me that he was high on coke didn't help.