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Kid who had abortion
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hmmmm... just seen the news about a 14 yearold who had an abortion and was counselled by a school health advisor.
Why is it that the mother went on TV but didn't want her face shown but she's quite prepared to let her daughters photo be published in national newspapers. This is totally unfair and to me just highlights the reasons why her daughter didn't talk to her about her choices!!
Why is it that the mother went on TV but didn't want her face shown but she's quite prepared to let her daughters photo be published in national newspapers. This is totally unfair and to me just highlights the reasons why her daughter didn't talk to her about her choices!!
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What about the case itself? I think it's up to the woman to decide but in the case of minors it gets quite tricky. On the one hand you would think the parents must have a right to know... but on the other hand parents have been known to impose their views on their children regardless and it is important that people in such situation are able to talk to someone else in confidence.
What do others think?
I know that it's far from the ideal situation, and it'd be better if she got the opinion of her parents - but in some situations you know it's better for both parts that the parents don't know.
Just highlights the need for more education, for paretns to be open about issues with thier kids, and for access to contraception without paretns knowledge etc.......
But then some kids are tough to handle as it were.
What makes it depressing is the fact it shouldnt happen in the first place, sex education is shit in this country. But then we're getting 'The Silver Ring Thing' tour soon so thats bound to solve the problem.
Whats that I hear you cry!
Well it is a Christian group (US government funded) which advocates kids waiting till they are married. This group is to tour the UK teaching our kids sex education. Good huh!
This girl knew that she had done something wrong and at first was prepared to go to have the abortion even though when she knew that her mother had found out 'by accident' she wanted to change her mind but had already started the process.
How did the mother find out? did the school tell her without asking the girl first or something?
Anyway these days 14 yr old teenagers are not mature enough to think about having sex and or that kind or relationships with their partners unless they are definately know they are ready and feel that they are mature enough to take that responsability.
Yet when i was 14 (i'm 17 now) the pressure to have sex was not so massive but people were mature enough to take the step and we did have sex if we wanted to not because everyone else was doing like the pressure of that today is.:chin:
Yes of course sex ed does need to strike the balance between telling kids to have sex and telling them nothing.
Is a slight increase in kids having under age sex but doing it safely better than a slight decrease in the overall numbers but less protected sex?
But there isn't any "tough questions" at all. A minor has the right to be treated confidentially if he or she desires it, simple as; if they don't have the right, then they should have it. MoK would know more about health rights than me *hint*
If the mother released the photographs of her daughter to the newspapers then she should be jailed. If the school doctor or health advisor leaked the story to the girl's mother then he or she should be jailed. The newspaper editor who printed the photographs should be jailed (I'm thinkin it'll be Paul Dacre, Rebekah Wade or Piers Moron, in which case they should be executed).
yus.
the fact is not why was she having sex, why wasn't she using contraception or why didn't she tell her parents.
why the hell did someone break confidentiality like that? i mean, ffs. it's an awful thing for anyone to go through, but to be 14 and have the whole world knowing? something's gone very wrong there.
harsh, but probably fair, for thei own sakes, the poor misguided things.......:( :rolleyes:
*hint* taken
If a doctor believes that a person understands the operation and the complications then the person can consent whatever their age.
Everyone is also entitled to confidentiality.
I cannot see anything wrong with this case, based on what I have heard. The minute the girl said "I don't want my mum to know" then her mum had no right to any information.
Not a criminal offence, but the doctor could be struck off and any NHS worker would be sacked.
And the patient was sue for damages.
Mum can't though.
Apparently the TV interview was done before she decided to go to the papers and give them the picture of her daughter.
I'm also not surprised that the girl didn't want to tell her mum, I wouldn't want to tell my mum if I was preganant and I'm 19, but at least my mum wouldn't give out my photograph to the national newspapers.
Once her mum found out, the girl changed her mind and wanted to keep the baby, but obviously it was too late. She might have changed her mind though because her mum said she would have wanted her to keep it and she would bring it up as her own, or something. It's just sad that the girl couldn't go and tell her mum that she was pregnant. I think parents (especially mums) need to be more open about discussing sex and things with their children, then maybe more teenagers would feel more comfortable in confiding in them.
Anyway I think teenagers do have a right to confidentiality if they fully understand what will happen (i.e. the abortion in this case) but did the girl fully understand what was happening if she changed her mind or was there pressure from the school health advisor?
You couldn't possibly know whether the girl fully understood or not, unless you talked to her. People (ie. her mum) will say she didn't understand fully or that she was pressurised, but only the person in question can say for sure.
Though have to disgree with some of you and say, for a girl that's only 14 years old, parents should be informed at all times. Have to look at the parents point of view. It's their little girl, and if something medically is wrong, or as this girl was before; Pregnant - Then I think the parent has the right to be contacted about it.
When I went for my abortion, they said I had to have my parent with me as I had sex underage - (15) even though I had the abortion when I was 16.
I didn't want to tell my mum about my pregnancy, not cause I could not communicate well with her, coz me and my mum are very close - Just coz I didn't want to disappoint her - which you would find with loads of teenagers.
14 years is too young of an age to make such a decision on their own. I was 15 with mine and it messed my head up.
So if a girl gets pregnant underage, then I do believe the parent should be informed as they are the guardian. Parents have the responsibilty to try and look after their child and help them when they are put in sticky situations such as this.
It's awful imo that the mother gave the daughter's photos to the press though.
Just shows how low some of the press will go, though I am sure this is driven to a large degree by the publics voyeurism and interest in sensationalist journalism.......
Each parent - child Relationship is different and I guess it's easy for us to pass judgement and say 'I could have done better'
the shameful thing is that the mother felt she had to discuss such a private and possibly difficult decision with the media!! Surely at some point she could have thought 'I'm angry about this but I must put my daughters feelings first' - instead she completely betrayed her daughter and made it all so public. perhaps she was a victim of a newspaper hungry for a good story so the blame should lie with the press??
All the glossy magazines, the newspapers, the gossip rags are all filled to the brim with stories about very private things, often with the people involved consenting to this, and often not, which is worse clearly....
Even we by taking part in this discussion are part of this.......
Yes, these days you'd be shocked with what youngsters are like these days. Sometimes find them with their heads more screwed on than a fully grown 20yr old -
And as decieving as they make themselves out to be, showing their tough side on how they're big girls, etc - Have to remember they still minors. As byny said, she was 26 when she got pregnant and found she has to turn to her mum. Maybe cause when we get older, we find we don't have to prove as much to others, acting like the big girl, 'I can look after msyelf', etc. As when you do when your just a kid trying to prove they're just as wise as you.
Byny was able to admit she needed help/advice - Kids these days are too proud to show their youth.
Yeah I understand what you're saying but when I became pregnant at 16, I didn't turn to my mum because I knew she'd tell me to have an abortion and make me feel like I should. Young girls have different reasons for not wanting to turn to their mum. It appears this 14 year old girl had good reason not to turn to her mum, that's my opinion anyway.
Unfortunately, we have different parents and some would pressure their children more than others over thinking what's best for theur child.
You were 16, so you were at the legal age to have the choice to make your own decision and did not have to tell you parents.
Was wrong what her mother did to her, but the parent still had the right to be told what was happening to her daughter - just unfortunate that the mother used it to make money from the newspapers -
Which just shows - we all have different parents. Some people don't want to tell their parents because the want to keep their child.
It strikes me as blatently obvious why her daughter couldnt tell her mother - Her mother would have made her have the baby, but of course the daughter is agreeing with her mother now, that it was the school that was in the wrong, because she wants to shift her mothers blame away from herself.
All of the load applauses were for points which echoed what has been posted here, about the pictures being released in particular.
Sorry, legally they don't.
The doctor may request it, but it's not a legal requirement.
J - I love you!!