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Does anyone have a problem saying the L ... word
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I mean say it in a romantic relationship
cause I'm sitting here thinking that I can say it to my family and my best friend (that even took a while) but I don't say it in relationships (well one exception). But it's not nice when someone says I love u and u say thank you (lol yes I really have said that)
ok I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem? and how do u deal with it
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is.
cause I'm sitting here thinking that I can say it to my family and my best friend (that even took a while) but I don't say it in relationships (well one exception). But it's not nice when someone says I love u and u say thank you (lol yes I really have said that)
ok I was just wondering if anyone else had this problem? and how do u deal with it
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is.
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you know, i really have hard time saying it the very first time in any romantic relationship. in fact, in my current relationship it took me 8 months to realize it and conjure up enough courage to say it in more than a brotherly way.
and ur right, it's very disheartening to say the words and not have them said back.
but what i think ur inability to say them means is you want the words to have some real meaning when you say them. and you just haven't found the right person to make you feel that just yet.
i will say this though, after you say the words for the first time to someone who feels the same way, you won't want to ever stop saying them. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
of course, you also have to consider the effect you're having on the person who you can't say them to. there's only so many times one can hear "thank you" before they just give up.
so if this is something that keeps happening, the only fair thing to do is make a choice and tell the person you can't say the words because u really don't love them and let them go or look deep into your heart tell them you feel the same and you love them too.
but never forget that you are the one that gets to decide when u say them. and relax, they will come when you're with "the one." <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
good luck.
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is.
I'd say its part of a development cycle which goes along the lines of:
Lust / Want
Like
Love
i dunno, i just couldn't have it said to me and not say it back, because i don't want the other person to feel bad. and i know thats like a massive lie, but i dunno i have never been in love. i never say it or hear it from my family either. in fact i don't say it to anyone lol.
((((((thesite peeps))))))) i love youuuuuu <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
person 1 - "I love you"
You - "I love me too"
with limited experience, i think the words come out easiest when i don't mean them. if i really really mean it, i find it completely impossible to say!!!!
Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
that's playing with fire though. you may not feel guilty, but if person you are saying it to believes it, you are in for a really sticky situation, because you're going to have to explain why u said it when u didn't mean it. and there is no way to explain your way out of it.
y put youself and that other through that when there really is no reason to do that?
unless of course, ur just using them for sex, which is a whole 'nother thread. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif">
*laughs at the thought of getting close enough to someone to use them for sex*
Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
I was trying to ask him out but it kind of came out wrong <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
yeah, i'm sure u prob already know but "i love you" is not hte BEST way to ask somoene out, in most circumstances.
Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.
wow your brave I have trouble saing it back let alone saying it to someone opening yourself up like that <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/eek.gif"> sorry it didn't work out for u wildchild
I have said I love u to one guy but I didn't mean it and thats when I started figuring out that this relationship isn't working when I feel like I have to lie to someone for them to feel ok, or it was just a easy way out for me, I still don't know
in another thread drifter said relationships suck ass or something like that and I think thats what it all comes down to
relationships suck
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my soul is, I don't know where my home is.
yup yup.
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
i just hope you guys don't give up on love and relationships. happiness is out there, even if it's like looking for a needle in a haystack.
sorry, guess i'm just hopeless when it ccomes to love and happiness sometimes. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
j9
I've been there. My boyfriend told me this just after a month and I knew I didnt love him so I said thats nice but was also speechless but I did let him know that its too early for me to declare anything and he totally understood. But still he says it every now and then and I would just say I know-thanks.He did ask whether I think I will ever love him and I just replied I dont know but I do like you more and more each day.There wasnt any awkwardness anymore because we knew where each other stood. It would have been a totally different story if I said it and not meant it. Text messaging-thats just as bad.If you dont love her then dont say it.
Anyway about year I realised I was in love and I really had to say it but I would hesitate because I wanted it to be at the right time and eventually I did.It wasnt the way i wanted because he had said it and asked me whether I think I will ever love him and that totally spoilt it but it doesnt matter.We are in love and are still together-16 months and 6days!!!!!!!
TO THOSE WHO FEEL BAD WHEN THEY DONT LIKE THE REPLY WHEN THEY DO SAY IT:
My advice is wait and dont expect them to love you because you love them.Like my situation with my boyfriend-we knew where each other stood.But dont be depressed necause it doesnt mean they dont like you otherwise they wont be with you will they?
Love is differnt for everyone.Some find it easy to fall in love and some find that it is something very deep and will be 'picky' in a way.
Anyway love is a hard thing to understand but if you are in love you will know it and IT IS GREAT!!!!
To me the worst thing I could hear would be something like "yes" or "that's nice" like the guy in American Pie, also having I love you said back when it was never meant. I have had both said to me before and have never been so hurt.
"Children are like washing powders, some are biological, some are non-biological" ~David Badiel~
Or maybe:
"Dont press that"
or
"Dont feed it"
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
Just done a banging shit. Won't flush. You might have to push it down
What are you on today cb?
j9
A wise man is always happy to be corrected
Sorry, weird mood.
Just done a banging shit. Won't flush. You might have to push it down
i know that sounds daft but if some1 says they love u u nearly always say i love u 2, but when u actually r in love u just know.
i think ill shut up now!......
Hurry up and wait
Yeah I do know <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"> I was just using it to illustrate the fact that when it got down to it, I found it easier to say "I love you" than "Will you go out with me?"
Thank you Kitty <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
My gf said she loved me, I said I loved her back when at the time I wasn't sure, which I`m still not.
I`ve been scalded a fair few times in the past, not just with girlfriends but alot of family trouble and I tend to sort of isolate emotions to the extent where I wasn't even upset when my 2 nieces got adopted out cos my sister is a shit mother and I didn't feel a thing when my grandad died either, plus a whole shitload of other family trouble which really dont wanna go in2, so I`m only just starting to make use of emotions again, let alone understanding them. Is there any way of defining love, I`m told there isn't - you just 'feel it', but I feel very little these days so what in hell am I supposed to do?
I was only 10 when everything started happening so emotionally I`m still sorta like a kid (17 now, 18 in September).
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
The thing is, real, genuine love makes no mistakes. A relationship based on true love cannot end; there's never a reason for it. It's only if someone stops loving their partner that it can break up, and if they do stop, they never really loved them at all.
Love is not lust, or even strong like, and that's often where we get confused. Love is recognising someone's faults but still wanting to be with them for one's whole life. "Puppy love" (a crude way of putting it) is when you're "blind" to the person's faults, and that causes so much pain because invariably it does not work.
It's such a difficult thing when someone tells you they love you but you're not sure what to say back. The only thing you can do is be truthful, however hard it may be.
This is the first day of the rest of your life.
The 'love' stuff hasn't come up wit my current bf (& we've been 2gether nearly 5months now) which i'm glad about coz i don't think i do love him yet. I have times when i think i do but then i realise i don't, i just like him a lot. (If that makes sense!)
I've never told ne1 that i love them though coz i never have!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
"Let me help."
this si soo coll <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/cool.gif"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
"Pooh," said Rabit kindly, "you haven't any brain." "I know," said Pooh humbly.
Easily pleased, aren't u <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"> <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
Look into these tired eyes. See something you might recognise.