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Just a Ride?!!!
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Hi Guys,
All's not well on Craggy Island at the moment! Just need a bit of advice. To cut a LONG story short(ish) myself and my son's Dad have rekindled our sex life (3 months ago). There had been no contact between us for approx 2 years and he only found out that he had a son last July/Aug. Anyway, we met up, the attraction was definitely still there and he was the one who initiated the sex between us. At the time I didn't want a full on relationship and neither did he, so both of us were happy to just have sex. Obviously due to our son we see each other at least once a week, get on like a house on fire and not only that but he phones and texts me during the week and the conversations are not always related to our son, if you know what i mean! I am becoming very attached to him, emotionally, and I have tried on several occasions to "suss" him out regarding whether or not we are actually having a relationship but he is non-committal. I end it and he keeps coming back and trying his case.. and as the sex is FUCKING AMAZING I keep going there again and again. I have tried to have the "just sex" attitude but I find it too difficult. I really care about him and I'm hoping that something will develop but am I wasting my time?
By the way, I'm intelligent enough to know that he is probably just using me but I'm foolish enough to hope that there is more to this.. Perhaps I should mentiont aht he has an older daughter (3) from a previous relationship and has a lot of hassle with her mother (she is in another relationship - so i know he is not having sex with her!!). Also I know for a fact that he has not been in any long term relationship with anyone since we broke up 2 years ago. I would really appreciate your opinions... Thanks xxx
All's not well on Craggy Island at the moment! Just need a bit of advice. To cut a LONG story short(ish) myself and my son's Dad have rekindled our sex life (3 months ago). There had been no contact between us for approx 2 years and he only found out that he had a son last July/Aug. Anyway, we met up, the attraction was definitely still there and he was the one who initiated the sex between us. At the time I didn't want a full on relationship and neither did he, so both of us were happy to just have sex. Obviously due to our son we see each other at least once a week, get on like a house on fire and not only that but he phones and texts me during the week and the conversations are not always related to our son, if you know what i mean! I am becoming very attached to him, emotionally, and I have tried on several occasions to "suss" him out regarding whether or not we are actually having a relationship but he is non-committal. I end it and he keeps coming back and trying his case.. and as the sex is FUCKING AMAZING I keep going there again and again. I have tried to have the "just sex" attitude but I find it too difficult. I really care about him and I'm hoping that something will develop but am I wasting my time?
By the way, I'm intelligent enough to know that he is probably just using me but I'm foolish enough to hope that there is more to this.. Perhaps I should mentiont aht he has an older daughter (3) from a previous relationship and has a lot of hassle with her mother (she is in another relationship - so i know he is not having sex with her!!). Also I know for a fact that he has not been in any long term relationship with anyone since we broke up 2 years ago. I would really appreciate your opinions... Thanks xxx
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Comments
go to ann summers and order a 12" vibrator and call it Al (or Rob - cos they are cool names for a vib)
its the only way to fly
I didn't know Father Ted had such complex interpersonal sexual dynamics, maybe I wasn't paying enough attention.
To your question though, please understand I speak from a fairly cynical POV, and though there are a thousand personal details that are relevant, only you know them, so I'll give a general reply.
He's had no long-term relationship for 2 years eh?? That can do strange things to a man, he could start believing that he's a little bit past it, maybe not as attractive as he thought he was, put a dent in his ego maybe. Men are usually simple, so what could possibly be better at soothing an ego than getting back with someone from his past?? I'll bet the sex is great, I'll bet he enjoys it too, but possibly for different reasons than yourself. Call me Mr Cynical if you like but I think he's proving something to himself, rather than getting into a relationship with you.
That's not to say this is the only possible explanation, there may be many others. Maybe he really does like being with you and enjoy your time together, but feels going backwards would be a mistake. Maybe he is exceptionally non-jealous and just takes it all in his stride while waiting for the situation to pan out. You know best, but the question is; how much do you want him to want a relationship with you?? Enough to mistake casual sex for something more serious??