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Elocution lessons for those who are not Essex born and bred...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
"This explains everyfink!"

Alma chizzit - A request to find the cost of an item.

Amant - Quantity; sum total ("Thez a yuge amant of mud in Saffend").

Assband - Unable to leave the house because of illness, disability etc.

Awss - A four legged animal, on which money is won, or more likely lost: "That awss ya tipped cost me a fiver t'day"

Branna - More brown than on a previous occasion ("Ere, Shaz, ya look branna today, ave ya been on sunbed?").

Cort a panda - A rather large hamburger.

Dan in the maff - Unhappy ("Wossmatta, Shaz, ya look a bit dan in the maff").

Eye-eels - Women's shoes.

Furrock - The location of Lakeside Shopping Centre.

Garrij - A building where a car is kept or repaired (Shaz: "Oi, Darren, I fink the motah needs ta go in the garrij cos it aint working proper").

Ibeefa - Balaeric holiday island.

Lafarjik - Lacking in energy ("I feel all lafarjik").

Oi oi! - Traditional greeting. Often heard from the doorway of pubs or during banging dance tunes at clubs.

Paipa - The Sun, The Mirror or The Sport.

Reband - The period of recovery and emotional turmoil after rejection by a lover ("I couldn't elp it, I wuz on the reband from Craig").

Saffend - Essex coastal resort boasting the longest pleasure pier in the world. The place where the characters from TV's popular soap opera, Eastenders, go on holiday. (Woo! :D)

Tan - The city of London, the big smoke.

Webbats - Querying the location, something or someone is. ("Webbats is me dole card Shaz? I've gotta sign on).

;)

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