Argh, dunno what to think.

Former Member

Ok, you all probably have been sick to your back teeth with me gushing about Scott, well things aren't so good.

I dunno what's happened. We've been out with eachother for just over a month, and things were great - until we argued over him going in a huff over paranoia about 'not being adequate in bed' which I told him was a pile of mince. So that was fine, then he went in a huff over nothing and resulted in me running out on him going to get a taxi that he has manic depression.

This made sense as he's always got a pout going on, and he's hyper and happy, or really subdued and quiet.

Both times we've fallen out I've ended up crying, and just now I'm still really miserable and I am crying as I type this. Urgh. Anyways, I know I sound really lame and so dependent on some daft arse but it gets to me, I'll get the problem out eventually.

I want to talk to him, and see him more than I think he wants to see me now. When we originally started to go out I'd see him three or four nights in a row, and now I've seen him maybe once or twice. He says he's tired from work, or wants a lazy night.

I don't want to rock the boat and hassle him because I still think it's a newish thing we have going on and it's like, I don't want to come across as a nag. I always have to push to see where we're going/if we're going out. He doesn't. I feel really underappreciated. I don't want to tell him this as this is what pushed the last guy away was my nitpicking, although the last guy treated me 372813829103 times worse than what Scott does..

I know I'm probably blowing everything out of proportion and worrying about fuck all, but I just want him to be a bit more reciprocating toward me wanting to see him, and wanting to spend time with him.

I just feel hurt that he doesn't want to see me as much as I do, I know blokes aren't into the whole 'every minute, every day' thing but it just feels that he's too settled now, and that nothing's exciting or unexpected as before.

Am I making any sense?!

How can I tell him I just want to make things be better for both of us without coming across as a nag?

Raaah, I dunno if any advice can come from this, I just needed it off of my chest.

Former Member

If he is depressed it's quite a common reaction to push everyone away, I have to say I've done it in the past and a lot of other people have.

I don't really have much advice to give, though *sigh* I'd just give him a bit of space, but not too much otherwise the gap might become too large to get back across.

Former Member

That's what I'm thinking too. I mean, I give him a text every day when I don't see him just as a wee minder that I'm thinking of him.

I've not seen him over the weekend, because on Sat, he was meant to go out with his mates but didn't, and only told me when I asked him which miffed me off as we could have went out and done summat. Which is making me think raaaah, I'm not wanted.

Yesterday he got doped up to the eyeballs with his mates, and I said can we do something tomorrow [Monday] and he was all "I'll see if I get in tomorrow night.." His friends stay across the road!

I feel like it's a bloody effort for him to want to see me. He hasn't spoken a lot about him being all bipolar - just that he's sorry as it pushes away people he cares about.

I'm seeing him tomorrow night at a friend's birthday do. I told him I'd forget tonight and just see him tomorrow, but I dunno if I should go in a huff or try and talk to him?

Argh, I'm acting like a knob as well.

Former Member

what if u back off a bit? (im not saying your to full on or clingy or anything)
say that you feel you have to do all the work and if he wants to see you to text you or something to arrange it?

or not? i dunno...im not very good at this sort of thing

Former Member

I think he sounds too settled, do you think he knows how really fucking horrible you're feeling about this? Maybe when the time is right have a proper heart to heart, no holding back. Although I remember a time when you told me to do exactly the same with my own situation, so I know it's a hard thing to do

Hang in there lovey, never think twice about phoning me up for a blub if need be

Former Member

Originally posted by blonde__batman
what if u back off a bit? (im not saying your to full on or clingy or anything)
say that you feel you have to do all the work and if he wants to see you to text you or something to arrange it?

or not? i dunno...im not very good at this sort of thing

That's what I was going to say. I know how hard it is too keep away when you really want to see someone 24/7 but in my experience if you leave him alone for a day or 2 then he'll soon come running/texting/whatever! You need to have some kind of talk about his depression thing though because if it's a problem after you've only been together a month then it needs to be sorted.

Former Member

Well, he's agreed to come and have a talk before we go out to a mate's birthday do tonight. I'll let him into what's been bothering.

Thanks, everyone

Former Member

that's ok, i'm just glad i could help:p

Former Member

Originally posted by Anti-Christ
that's ok, i'm just glad i could help:p

:yeees:

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
Well, he's agreed to come and have a talk before we go out to a mate's birthday do tonight. I'll let him into what's been bothering.

Thanks, everyone

Good luck :thumb:

Former Member

Originally posted by Faith
Good luck :thumb:

:yes:

Former Member

this happened to me with my last boyfriend. at first he was all excited and making the effort to see me but then something happened over christmas and he was really upset/down about it. we broke up because he just wouldn't make the time to see me. i was lucky to see him once a week!!it's so hard because you feel like a nag but in reality you are not.

it sounds like he doesn't have his heart in this relationship at the moment, whether that's because he doesn't want a relationship right now or has problems. you need to talk to him, get it all out in the open because he might not realise exactly how you feel.