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what should i do??
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
what the hell should i do about this?? recently i keep finding out my ex b/f has been repeatedly slagging me off. its really really upsetting me, infact im sitting here in tears now, over him, for the first time in 2 years. he dumped me about 2.5 years ago, and it was a bad break up. im not saying im totally innocent in this, bcos i had 2-timed him and we rowed alot, but is that any reason to still upset me years later?? we knew each other really well, and lost our V together, but now i find out that he's still slagging me off. i havent spoken to him since we broke up, or slagged him off, so this is totally unprovocked (sp)! my current b/f used to hate him before we even met about 6 years ago, and he's all for going out and kicking his ass. in fact, ive told him and another close mate, and they both want to beat him up.
i hate resorting to violence, but im not sure whether to let them or not. in the past few months ive stopped them, but im tempted to let them now. the thing im most worried about is my b/f getting into trouble with the police. what would happen if he hit my b/f a few times+warned him to leave me alone, and my ex went to the police??? would my b/f get arrested??
i feel so sick now, i just needed to rant about this to get it off my chest. i hate him so much, we've both got partners, so why does he need to hurt me so??
the worst thing of all is that he knows all the things that upset me the most, and he's spreading them around about me. i know so much about him, but have never used it against him - and i dont want to, as it would mean sinking as low as him. ive got A-levels soon, and he goes my college. i dont need this stress! it sounds horrid, but i just feel like i want him to learn a lesson b4 he goes to uni.
he's one of those people who act hard and loud, but are extremely weak. he's been bullied all his life, but now he's doing the same to me!!! i feel like ive come to the end of my tether - i just want to be able to walk past him without getting sneers, and for my sister to go out without him giving her filthy looks too!!
what should i do??
please please give me some advice and comfort??? what would you do in my situation??? thank you!!
i hate resorting to violence, but im not sure whether to let them or not. in the past few months ive stopped them, but im tempted to let them now. the thing im most worried about is my b/f getting into trouble with the police. what would happen if he hit my b/f a few times+warned him to leave me alone, and my ex went to the police??? would my b/f get arrested??
i feel so sick now, i just needed to rant about this to get it off my chest. i hate him so much, we've both got partners, so why does he need to hurt me so??
the worst thing of all is that he knows all the things that upset me the most, and he's spreading them around about me. i know so much about him, but have never used it against him - and i dont want to, as it would mean sinking as low as him. ive got A-levels soon, and he goes my college. i dont need this stress! it sounds horrid, but i just feel like i want him to learn a lesson b4 he goes to uni.
he's one of those people who act hard and loud, but are extremely weak. he's been bullied all his life, but now he's doing the same to me!!! i feel like ive come to the end of my tether - i just want to be able to walk past him without getting sneers, and for my sister to go out without him giving her filthy looks too!!
what should i do??
please please give me some advice and comfort??? what would you do in my situation??? thank you!! 0
Comments
he'd get arressted for assault if he went to the police but if they prosecute is upto your ex.
Becarefull but I can understand why you would/wouldn't want to hit him..
Good luck
Hellfire;)
You've lasted a long time without having to deal with the shit so why start getting all overcome by it now?
If you really have to then I would march up to him and let him know that you are pissed off with him for telling lies and that it just goes to show that you were right to split up. If possible, and if you are brave enough, do it calmly but forcefully in front of his friends. Don't get hysterical or upset, and walk away before he gets a chance to respond. Then cut off all contact with him. If he can't behave like an adult then you must.
Basically what I'm saying is - you will be moving on and up to other things soon..getting A levels, meeting new people etc. Why bother letting someone who is so in the past get you down when you know you are a nice person, you know your true friends like you and you don't actually have to have any stress in your life.
Ignore him, he's a bully and he's only going to know that you are freaked by him if you resort to violence. hold your head high and keep going forward!
no you wouldn't of. your starting to get annoying again.
but more importantly, what do you mean by slagging you off?
do you mean something like calling you a bitch who cheated on him? or is it something that is fabricated and unfair?
Yes..... I can change names too..
And how the fuck do you know what I'd do.. you don't even fucking know me..
Anyway.. If it's just general slagging of just ignore it but if it's something unjustified and cuntish then speak to him.. or argue but try not to resort to violence.
Basics of the solution are not what you could do but what you would do, he expects you to get worked up everytime you see him, instead of making him know you want him dead and want someone to get revenge, take it to the teather of making it look like you are planning something but dont.
When you are at college, you and your mates s****** back, make it look so much like you are planning a comeback, it will wind him up and get him ranting and raving on what you have planned that it will drive him barmy, the best way to get back at him is to do nothing at all, otherwise it comes down to "In the end, it doesnt even matter" as you will hardly see him or speak to him when he goes to university, and everytime you take a stab at him, he will come back with an army full of stabs at you.
tthe major key in your life is sometimes think of Number 1, ignore him, he is irelavent and worthless to everyone, people like that end up getting what they deserve, eventually he will be the hurt one, let time pass, and IGNORE HIM, he is pathetic, i should know!
Now stop getting worked up and maby you need to talk to someone about it, Hint Hint on sunday at 7.30, many people dont have perfect answers as they are going through hardtimes. I feel you need to join us with someone else, hint hint BF, its always worthwhile speaking to the ones that know.
anyways Bob_Da_Spider, Signing Off xxx
ooozie boo, someones learned a new word. aawww
i don't know you? what because i only know you through the internet? but hang on... you have fallen in love with someone you have never met over the internet.
don't get cocky with me young man.
when i change names its funny, when you do it, its brash and copied and loses all its wit. stop copying
Surely everyone will see him for the bitter twisted idiot he is, you broke up ages ago for friggs sake
*hugs*
yea.. I changed it ages ago..:yes:
I got bored of my user name being rude_boyz so i decided to change it to hellfire as it's better:) plus I'm not even a rude boy:p
:yes: Byny always has good advice
he's posted things on the internet about me - calling my ugly, etc. but what bothers me the most is he tell people who he works with (who dont really like him, and tell me everything he says) private stuff about me. i also had a minor car crash last year and his responce was "pity she wasnt killed" and my grandad passed away last year, and he laughed when he found out. I (unfortunately) lost my V with this guy, and he's told everyone he works with (which is alot of people as he works in a big factory) how 'crap i was, and how im so ugly he never loved me' It really hurts me, its still upsetting me.
My ex came out with a load of insults when we split up, calling me ugly etc just like that idiot who's doing the same to you. The best you can do honestly, no matter how much it hurts and I know it does, is to do what Byny says and ignore him.
It really gets to them in the end that they are having no effect on you, he wants to upset you and hopefully when he see's that it doesn't bother you in the slightest he'll realise he's a twat and stop it (my ex did, and I got a full written apology :crazyeyes ).
Try not to let him get to you!
(PM me to rant if you wish).
You can't make him stop saying the things he is, so you will just ahve to ride it out. The moral victory is yours honey- no-one listens to people who continually slag off a person, and just end up thinking that they are a sad bitter loser. Instead of him growing up and dealing with it he's trying to hurt you- don't let him.
If he was right he'd be over you, and wouldn't be saying the things he is. therefore he isn't right, and the best thing to do is to keep a dignified silence.
Maybe you could try telling his colleagues that you don't care wehat he says, and that you don't want to know?