Dunno what to put here . . .

Former Member

I was talking to Viki earlier, and we were talking about Lewin, because she asked whether or not I'd heard from him lately.

I told her the truth, that I spoke to him on MSN last week sometime for about 10-15 mins, and that I emailed him on Friday but he hasn't replied yet, and that he hasn't rung me for about a month. And she said that he'd told her that he'd spoken to me when she spoke to him on Monday (as in the one just gone). Which is pretty much bullshit, as she'd told him to ring me last week sometime (apparently).

She said that he seems to be messing me around, and I think she might be right. He's a lovely boy and everything (like she said) but she said that maybe I should move on, because he's said that he doesn't want a proper long distance relationship, although he didn't give me a reason why it wouldn't work.

I gave the decision to him as to whether we should be official or not because although I know I can handle a long distance relationship, I don't know if he would be able to not, and evidently he doesn't think he can.

I'm just really confused because he's said that he really likes me, when he knows that I think I'm in love with him, but he hasn't rung me in ages, and when I talk to him on MSN he's kinda off with me, and now Viki's saying he's been bullshitting her about whether or not he's spoken to me.

I don't really know what advice I need, I just want to know I guess, lads, why is he like this? And is this normal?

Franki
x

Former Member

He's lying to your friends, he's not answering your calls and emails, he's said he doesn't want a relationship.

Doesn't that give you any sort of hint?

Former Member

From what I've heard before; he does seem to return some or a lot of your feelings. Maybe he doesn't want a long distance relationship because it's so far and he'd never get to see you.

Either way there are clear signs that it's not going anywhere so the two options open to you are move on or hold out for however long to see if he changes his mind. *maybe* it's a case of him being too scared to let you down, so he's just trying to put space between you two and hope you grow apart so it isn't so hard. But that's pure speculation based on my perception of the situation.

You should talk to him first and then decide what to do hun. Hope all goes well for you love you more, Rich x

Former Member

Originally posted by Kermit
He's lying to your friends, he's not answering your calls and emails, he's said he doesn't want a relationship.

Doesn't that give you any sort of hint?

He does reply. It just takes him ages to do it. And I don't call him due to a thing in our house where the phone is only used when it's important.

And he isn't off with me anywhere but MSN, in texts (when he has signal/credit, which is rare!) and on the phone and everything else he's fine . . . it's just MSN. Bah, it's hard to explain.

Also, I'm not 100% sure whether she got the wrong kind of idea of what he meant about when he spoke to me. Blegh, I dunno. I guess I need to talk to him first. Might ask mum if I can use the phone if he doesn't ring me by tomorrow.

And Rich - I love you more

Franki
x

Former Member

You need to talk to him, ask him whats going on.

Former Member

I know someone in the same place as you

My friend also has a long distance relationship going on. A number of times she appears in college upset or angry because her relationship is dependant of regular text messages and phone calls. She's been with the guy for a large number of months now and it's hard to know what to say to her when she asks what she should do when he doesn't reply etc...but I always tell her to just be straightforward and honest. She always seems reluctant to phone her bloke, then complains when he never calls her, so maybe instead of sitting around, dependent on this guy to bring you a little peace of mind from knowing little about what's going on, give him a ring, talk to him rationally and be as understanding as possible. Many a time it's just that my friends bloke gets tired of not seeing her and having to text her to confirm that their relationship still exists, which must make her seem insecure and needy which can't be especially attractive. The quickest way to get the answer you want, is to make the move yourself. I know that I wouldn't wait around for a guy I was really keen on to phone me, I'd be on that phone checking out what's going on. If he ain't interested, maybe he ain't all he's cracked up to be.
Malteser Monkay x:)

Former Member

Originally posted by *TiNK*
You need to talk to him, ask him whats going on.

I'll ask my mum if I can ring him tonight. But I'm quite shy and I get really paranoid. I can't really say what I really feel over the phone so it might be quite difficult.

Former Member

Im very confused cos i thought that you were going out with shyboy

Former Member

Originally posted by Zella
Im very confused cos i thought that you were going out with shyboy

Nah He's my baby *nods*

New development though peeps, he emailed me yesterday WOO! And he said he's been waiting for me to ring him after I said in an email ages ago that I would try to because I didn't think it was fair that he was always the one ringing me, so I will definitely ring him tomorrow night when teh Bertha is out

Former Member

Good to see a development :thumb:

But maybe he doesn't want a relationship as others have said. You are getting to the age of moving out so maybe you can move closer to him (I know that might not be for a long time)

Maybe it is better to move on for now and see what happens in the future. I hope it all works out for you though

Jamie

Former Member

Originally posted by Jazza Bing
Good to see a development :thumb:

But maybe he doesn't want a relationship as others have said. You are getting to the age of moving out so maybe you can move closer to him (I know that might not be for a long time)

Maybe it is better to move on for now and see what happens in the future. I hope it all works out for you though

Jamie

Hmmmmmmm . . . well he said he was waiting for me to ring so . . . . aaaaaaaaaah. I'm all confused

I'll ask him how he really feels tonight. I've decided I am actually gonna ring him, although I'm really nervous, and knowing my luck he'll be at his dad's *sigh*.

Ah well, at least I'm gonna try

Thanks for your help all

Former Member

in my opinion fran, i think he wants to move on but doesnt know how to tell you, and you sed you think you love him and all that which might suggest he's scared of hurting you because you've got such deep feelings for him, and he may have had them aswell at one point but now just wants to live life and not be moping around. why do you want a long distance relationship?? you've fretting over him not calling you anf not emailing but how do you think you'll be if you're officially an item and he's over on the other side of the country and you'll be thinking "he could be getting with other people" and "why hasn't he txt me back in the past 5 minutes". do you really want a relationship like that where you don't know whats really going on?

(soz but you're out and i had to write it before i forgot.)

Former Member

Originally posted by xXx~Lizzy~xXx
you've fretting over him not calling you anf not emailing but how do you think you'll be if you're officially an item and he's over on the other side of the country and you'll be thinking "he could be getting with other people" and "why hasn't he txt me back in the past 5 minutes". do you really want a relationship like that where you don't know whats really going on?

Which is why I don't have a problem with his decision, however, it would be nice for him to tell me he was waiting for me to ring him before 4 weeks

And, I've already decided that I'm not gonna rest all my hopes on him. It's kinda pointless.

And I already think them things

(because I'm in a lesson you aren't in and I'll forget otherwise)

Franki
x

P.S. DON'T CALL ME FRAN!