scared/confused.

Former Member

I'm really worried..

I'm Soon to be getting back with my ex gf but I'm scared to because of my selfharming as I know it upsets her and she doesn't like me to do it, I don't like doing it but I still do. Anyway I don't know what to do because if I get back with her I could end up hurting her and if I walk away I like to think she'd find someone better, But I love her to much to walk away and I dunno what to do, I'm asking....No.. I'm begging for help because as much as I love her I don't want to hurt her, I love her to much to hurt her anymore...

Help please..

Former Member

Re: scared/confused.

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
I'm really worried..

No.. I'm begging for help because as much as I love her I don't want to hurt her, I love her to much to hurt her anymore...

Rite, u say u dont wanna hurt her, yer? then get help, and try not to self harm urself anymore. if you love her and you'd do anything 4 her, then stop doing it. i know it mite seem easy for me to say that, but you have to try at least

Former Member

Re: Re: scared/confused.

Originally posted by SeXySaRaH
Rite, u say u dont wanna hurt her, yer? then get help, and try not to self harm urself anymore. if you love her and you'd do anything 4 her, then stop doing it. i know it mite seem easy for me to say that, but you have to try at least

i know what yours saying sarah, but it's hard and i can't do it. im getting help, white lodge.. told ya bout it hun.

thanks neway

*hugs*

Former Member

Every time you're about to cut yourself, imagine her face. It might help you stop. And stop telling yourself you need to cut. Good Luck, sounds like you really love her.

Former Member

you love her. so you do your bit to stop self harming.

if she loves you; she'll understand and support you.

Former Member

i agree in some ways with what girlgunner says-- quite often, thinking about how much you're hurting somebody else, it helps you to stop...it helped me. i made a promise-- to someone i now hate but still, i havent broken it since, but then i was never really that bad.

what does she say to you when she finds out you've done it?

Former Member

Well I gave her a link to the thread then I phoned her, we spoke and she said she'll always be there to help me. She also said she understand as she's been in my position and we are going to work through it together.

Kirsty, your right, I love this Girl with all my heart, I've never felt like this about anyone, I think she's the one, I think it...No..I know she's the one and i'll make it last.

Thank you for the advice. I've slowed down alot recently and been selfharming alot less.

Thank you all:)

Former Member

get a zapper!!!! www.paingone.com
they give lil bit of pain without the actuall harm. read all about it and although its for pain sorta things it really does make u feel a whole lot better!
I have one and it rules!
No more painfull knees or the need to self harm
Woooo! two birds dwn with one zap!

Former Member

Re: Re: scared/confused.

Originally posted by SeXySaRaH

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
Rite, u say u dont wanna hurt her, yer? then get help, and try not to self harm urself anymore.

Useful advice :rolleyes:

Former Member

Re: Re: Re: scared/confused.

Originally posted by Kermit
Useful advice :rolleyes:

Lay of her, I know what she was one about and you would of needed to know the rest of my conversation to understand what she ment/said.

Former Member

Originally posted by Zella
get a zapper!!!! www.paingone.com
they give lil bit of pain without the actuall harm. read all about it and although its for pain sorta things it really does make u feel a whole lot better!
I have one and it rules!
No more painfull knees or the need to self harm
Woooo! two birds dwn with one zap!

sounds fun

*apoligises for innaproppraitness, goes off to buy one *

Former Member

Sometimes realising that you're truly hurting a loved one when you hurt yourself can do a lot to stop you from self harming. I know what Sarah means. I stopped cutting myself before I started seeing my ex, but he knew about it and saw my scars and I knew he was really concerned and loved me so much that if I ever did it he'd be devastated. That really held me back when it came to the times where I just felt like I really wanted to do it again. I realised that, like Girl Gunner says, I just couldn't bear the thought of his face if I ever told him I'd had a relapse. The same goes for my mum and all my friends. Once I knew that they really cared and were genuinely concerned about me, it almost felt like I was being selfish if I put them through that again.

Former Member

Ditto. I cut myself twice a few months ago; when I was on a break with my ex, and then the day I broke up him. Then we got back together and I had to hide my arm from him because I was too scared to tell him... because I knew he'd blame it on himself and be hurt and angry. But the only reason I did it then was because I thought it was extremely unlikely we would stay together, and therefore he would never find out. I could never have done it having him know. Just the thought of knowing he would be upset and worried stopped me. I'm not saying do it in secret, mind; just agreeing with the others and saying think of her when you feel the urge.

Former Member

thank you everyone. We talked about it and she's been perfect. So have all my other friends.. I never knew a handfull of friends could do so much for one person..

littlemissy

its hard whenever loved ones see your scars. i find it really difficult whenever i notice dave looking at them or whatever (not that he does often or anything) but they scare me cos they are an unpleasant part of my past. but they are part of me.

i understand rude_boyz/whatever he is called now predicament. there is no way i wouldve ever gone out with anyone while still doing it badly. however, i know it isnt possible to just stop, switch it off and carry on with life. its not that straightforward. at least you are getting help RB which does matter and your g/f has to stand by you and support you all the way because that will make all the difference.

Former Member

Originally posted by littlemissy
its hard whenever loved ones see your scars. i find it really difficult whenever i notice dave looking at them or whatever (not that he does often or anything) but they scare me cos they are an unpleasant part of my past. but they are part of me.

i understand rude_boyz/whatever he is called now predicament. there is no way i wouldve ever gone out with anyone while still doing it badly. however, i know it isnt possible to just stop, switch it off and carry on with life. its not that straightforward. at least you are getting help RB which does matter and your g/f has to stand by you and support you all the way because that will make all the difference.

Wow.. thanks everyone, you been great and she's been helping me anyway/everyway she can...

I... don't want to lose her because of it.

Former Member

OK, I'm well confused, I'm away from the net for a day and your name changes, what the hell!?

Former Member

Originally posted by dominatrix
OK, I'm well confused, I'm away from the net for a day and your name changes, what the hell!?

Sorry hun, changed it as i'm no longer rude:( and..now imma man.. so it would either be.. non rude man.. or a new one.. so i got this .

Former Member

Originally posted by Hellfire
and..now imma man.. .

How did that happen exactly?

Former Member

Originally posted by lisa simpson's saxophone
How did that happen exactly?

sex change?

Former Member

Originally posted by Anti-Christ
sex change?

Nope

I feel i've grown up more recently and I've became mature..

Former Member

Originally posted by Hellfire
Sorry hun, changed it as i'm no longer rude:( and..now imma man.. so it would either be.. non rude man.. or a new one.. so i got this .

Oh... I didn't know you could change your username at all, without making a new account.

Former Member

Originally posted by Hellfire


I... don't want to lose her because of it.

Not likely to be honest and, if it did happen, then you need to ponder over if it would be worth your while wanting someone who would let your cuts interfere with your relationship.

Why don't you see what she thinks about it all ?

Former Member

why change it? you're still annoying