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Confidence Booster???

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Help!

How do you get a boost of confidence, quickly, that lasts? Alcohol is out, it doesn't work for me (Trust me on this) and it doesn't last.

I'm 30 years old and have never had a girlfriend... Only been close once... And the reason that didn't work out? I didn't have the confidence to actually say how I felt to her, she took this to mean I wasn't interested in her in "that" way, stopped seeing me and started dating a French geek!

I hate myself... How do I stop feeling like that? I've been considering Suicide for months now, but I don't want to kill myself, just stop the pain!

People tell me to go out and meet new people, but the way I feel I'm going to be no fun and no one's going to like me, so why bother?

I'm a REALLY nice guy! I'm told I'm amazing, fun, attractive, interesting, lovely, loving person. But I don't believe any of it! Why? And how do I start believing it?

Sorry, bit of a major post for a complete newbie... I just want out of the hole I'm in!

Cheers,

Snowman

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you for real? There's something about the way you write, dunno wot.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yes, I am for real! (What is it about how I write? I like to use Proper English, makes the sense of what I'm saying more easily understood and less prone to misunderstanding, that comes from getting fed up with latin scholars telling me English is no good for communicating effectively with... They're wrong and I can prove it! It probably makes a difference that I'm 30, been about for a while...)

    Snowman
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No offence, but the way you write is really familiar. Kinda spooky.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Number one if you're considering suicide I think you should go see a counsellor. Seriously, don't feel bad about it - everyone goes through shit times in their lives and they'll might be able to help you through it.
    Number two - worry about making yourself happy minus the significant other. What are some things you want to say you've done, accomplish, be proud of etc etc. If you're happy with your life other things will fall into place, including possibly a girlfriend. You've probably heard it before, but it does work. Good luck!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    First: I go by the name of Snowman in every forum/chatroom/mail list/newsgroup I use. So if you did know me from elsewhere, you'd know it WAS me. Hmmm, I'm not into this privacy/untraceable identity thing am I? :-)

    Second: Cheers for the advice. I'm trying to rebuild a life in a city I left and have just moved back to. I have some friends here, but there's only a few of them. I'm still trying to decide what I enjoy doing and what I want to do (both Jobwise and Leisurewise). I'm going to take up dance class this/next week. Then maybe find somewhere I can sing (a choir/band who don't care that I can't read music and have a very limited range).

    Other than that, what I really want to do is travel. I'd like to try living in a foreign country for a year or so, even if it's crap and doesn't work out, just so I can say I've done it! (Mid life crisis? Nah, I don't want a sports car or a luxury yatch...)

    I know what you mean about "it" just happening if the rest of your life seems sorted. The girl in question asked me out after seeing me boogieing on a course night out. At the time my life was pretty sorted and I was having fun!

    So, cheers for the input. (Oh, BTW I have an appointment with the Dr. today re stress and depression... ;-) )

    Snowman
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I HAVE read your stuff on other bulletin boards on other sites! I just didn't recognise the name 'Snowman' - but I went back and looked, and there you were! You have a great writing style and it musta stuck in my memory...lovely spelling and grammar...a rare thing...

    Sorry if I freaked you out, it's just that there really <i>was</i> something familiar about the way you write.

    Hope things went OK with the doctor. Maybe you could join an evening class for writers when you are feeling a bit better, I bet you'd be really cool at something like that, and you might meet some like-minded people too.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for the compliment! Maybe I'll look into creative writing classes...

    I'm curious, where else have you seen me post? I don't recognise your nickname (Sorry, I'm a bit unobservant that way).

    Cheers,

    Snowman

    Ps. Feeling much better at the moment, was even out dancing last night! :-)
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yay Snowman!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Altogether now... Three cheers for Snowman! Hip hip....

    We are all just vessels floating through the infinate goo of the universe
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've heard that Red Bull gives you wings.....
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah but when the hangover comes your wings disappear and you fall to your death of depression from 30,00 feet.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Oh there you go again Harry, spoiling it, lol. Well that's all the ideas I got except bathing in the semen of 38 rightious men. I hear that one gives you BAGS of energy but then again I AM nuts...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanks for that... I think?!

    How the hell am I supposed to find 38 Rightoeus men? And, more to the point, won't having them jerk off into my bath make them less than righteous??!?!?!? :-) I mean, what will the use to, er, stimulate their minds... Of course... Red Bull! Which is where we came in!!

    <Smile>

    Snowman
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