ex boyfriends, friends?

Former Member

hi everyone

i was just wondering what you all thought.

if you have a ex lad or lass that you really liked could you still be friends with them i mean like best friends or not.

would it just be orkward (dont know how to spell)

or would we be better off just speaking to them now and again.

hope to see you replies any welcome

Former Member

it could be hard when you see them with a new gal/boy friend,but then again there is alway the hope that you may get back together

so i take it you got an ex that you like to get back with eh??

maybe you need to show them what they are missing out on <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

Nope, sod that for a laugh.

It really depends on the circumstances.

If it was just someone you were jumping into bed with or a semi-serious relationship no real "in love" kind of stuff then yeah maybe.

But if you've falling in love with someone and then break up (especially if it is their call) Do you really think you could bear to see that person all over someone else?

I, unfortunately, could not.

Phil. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

In my opinion its not awkward

<IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> at all!!!

I have 3 exgirlfriends that I am still really pally with. Theres no reason for you not to be.

When I split with the first ex, I was still really keen on her and she wasnt but after a while I found interest in someone else while me and my ex remained best of buds!!!

Thats my opinion, hope it helped!!

<IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

I think it depends on many things like how long u were together & the reason for u splitting up in the first place.

I broke up with my ex in Jan & we were still really good mates for a few weeks until I started seeing someone else. He got really weird with me & started slagging off myself & everyone I know.

Now that me & this other guy are split (although it never was anything serious!) he is being all friendly etc again.

It pissed me off at first, the way he was with me & stuff but then I thought if it was a role reversal I would probably be feeling like shit as well.

To be honest though, i'm not really mates with any of my ex's. I mean if I see most of them out & about i'll say hi & stop for a little chat but I wouldn't say they were my friends. I guess it depends on the person though!

Former Member

Harmless - How could you show them what they are missing out?


Cheeseontoast - so if you really liked them and it was only a one sided you think you could not be friends?

Former Member

I think it's possible to still be friends, but it can be awkward to be best friends. Because if you can become best friends, then why aren't you still together....
I find it hard to be really good friends with someone if i've already had more than that, if you get what i mean?

Former Member

well maybe show off a sexy little number for him, no just kidding(it may work!!)

well let him know you still like him for a start, then see if he likes you back

if you see what he does if you mess round with his mate, but that way you could be playing with fire.

you could ask a mate of his if he still likes you? if he already found a new gf then you may need to move on yourself

i'm sure the girl have much better help then me. It hard when you like someone but they don't like you back

well you tell him you like him and if nothing happens you know that he is missing out on something great...U

staying best mate with him maybe to hard for you, maybe find your self a new best mate or a new bf

Former Member

I've got loads of friends who're pals with their ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, but it always seems to take a little while after the break up. I guess you have to adjust. I think it can be tricky, especially if you start a new relationship, the other person is likely to uncomfortable to start with <IMG SRC="eek.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

I think it's a great idea though, wish I could be friends with my ex <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

In my group of friends, it'd be difficult not to be friends with their ex's cos within our group, people pair off, etc. I've just split up with my b/f, and i really want to stay friends with him because he's a lovely person, but i feel like i need a cooling off period, and i don't think he does. I've actually stayed friends with all my ex's, even one that i was a total cow to (it took us 2 years to get to friend point though!), and i do think it's worth it, but i think it's going to be easier on you if you took a break first.

Former Member

i think if you break up on good terms and both jus want to be friends then its not awkward. Most of the problems seem to arise when one person still has feelings for the other. If you wanna get back with someone it can be hard to be friends because being so close to what you want and yet not being able to have it is really depressing. But maybe thats just me, i'm quite an "all or nothing" person and loads of my firends manage to stay good friends with thier ex's even if they still love them. But i think you should always try and stay friends if its possible because you normally end up regretting it if you dont.

Former Member

It's definitely possible to stay friends with exes. I cheated on my ex (written about elsewhere so I'm not getting into that) and although it took a while we are now really good friends. It did take a while though with the occasional slip-ups or slips of the tongue should I say. He's a really good mate now though and we are back to the way we were before we got together except we can laugh about what happened?!? But then we had a really strong friendship first.

As others have said it does depend on the situation and I do feel that I am really lucky to still have this guy as a pal.

Former Member

yeah I agree with most of what has been said above. it really does depend on the situation. From past experiences, I think that if the relationship was not too serious then it is quite easy to return to being friends as you might have been prior to going out. Especially if you see this bloke around school/college or whatever, it is difficult not to be friends after a break-up, but obviously it depends on the circumstances under which you broke up.
I was speaking to my current boyfriend about this the other day and asking him if he thought we would remain really good friends when we eventually break up and he said he would like to but would find it too difficult because he would always want a relationship with me.
Do you want this guy back? I can't tell whether when you say you want to be best friends with him, whether you want it to develop into another relationship..cos thats what it kind of appears like. Who did the breaking up then? If it was him, I would give it time..make an effort to make him want you back if thats what you want..but don't smother him - then if he does decide to get back with you, it will have been his own decision.
by all means it is a good idea to be friends after a relationship but as for being best friends that can sometimes be difficult, as usually one feels a bit stronger than the other, having had a relationship in the past. <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

i have been really good mates with my ex boyfriend for about 7 years and two months ago we got together but it didn't last very long because he still had feelings for his ex girlfriend who he was with for nearly two years. We split up and that was the end i thought that we would never be friends again but now we are closer friends than what we were before. It just so happens that even though we were sleeping together we become even better mates than before and i felt that i could speak to him about anything even things that i couldn't speak to my female mates about. A lot of my friends think that i have to be careful because they know that my feelings for him are still really strong and they know that i want toi get back with him. Only time can tell. We both need to sort things out in our own heads before we can do anything about getting back together but it is true just look at me you can still be friends with your ex it just takes a lot of time but remember never ruin a friendship with a love affair because thats a friendship that will be greatly missed.!!!

Former Member

i went out with this guy for about five weeks last year. It was nothing really serious, but i did lose my innocence to him
and we got on so well, we could talk about anything, this carried on for months, even though i was going through my first serious relationshipa few months later, i thought this is great - best of both worlds. Then after i broke up with that guy he declared his undying lover for me and we had a fall out cause i felt like he only wanted me because he hadnt met anyone else he really liked and he was feeling a bit shit just having dropped out of uni. Anyway this ruined our friendship and we're trying to piece it back together gradually but it will never be back to how it was.

*feels sad, needs hug* <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

Former Member

i am still really good mates with one of my ex's.we've moved on from thinking about when we used to go out so everything just seems normal now.so yes, it is possible to be friends with old bf's