god i feel like a twat posting this - boy trouble

Former Member

ok so here goes, theres this guy i really like, i talked to him loads online then we all (me, him, a bunch of his mates, some of my mates) met up at a gig. after that we started talking loads more and texting and flirting and all that stuff and i felt myself falling for him.
the only problem - he lives 120 miles away in bristol.
i went to see him last week and it was the most fun i had in ages although nothing happend. so after there was more flirting on a 'i wish you lived here so i could see you every day - you make me so happy' usually stuff that makes me wanna puke but it didn't.

so last night i said to him that he has to tell me whats going on cos i am muchly confused about it all and he came out with something along these lines:
'i really like you zoe but it would be insane for anything to happen cos you live so far, if i could move to london it would all be different but i cant. i cant even make a relationship work here, let alone all the way over there, i still want us to be great friends, i need you. x'

i dont know whats going on really, i as a person cant have him being all flirty when i know nothings going to happen - it makes me feel crappy and i already feel depressed enough at the minute.

so what should i do, do you think we could make it work or do you think i should just leave it to fade away?

Former Member

Re: god i feel like a twat posting this - boy trouble

Originally posted by paperBprincess
what should i do, do you think we could make it work or do you think i should just leave it to fade away?

if you like eachother that much, you'll make it work and you won't let it fade away.

i'm sorry that's not much help; but i have known longer distances to work. have a talk, see what he says.

good luck. :yes:

Former Member

He said what he ment, he wants you as a mate because of the distance between you. You have to show him it wont be a problem or accept it im afraid...........

Bopz

Former Member

Originally posted by Bopperz
He said what he ment, he wants you as a mate because of the distance between you. You have to show him it wont be a problem or accept it im afraid...........

Bopz

:yes:

I'm afraid some people aren't content with the long distances; even if they really like the person. I've said no to relationships I've reallly wanted before because it was too far away and I knew I wouldn't be happy in the end because I would miss them too much.

Former Member

I can't say whether you should try and have a relationship with him or not. That's for you to decide.
But it is easier than it used to be. It used to be letters and phone calls. Now you can keep in touch almost instantaneously with email, Instant Messenger programs, Internet telephony, webcams, and text messages, all of which cost next to nothing (though texts can cost a lot if you're sending dozens a day, and internet telephony really needs broadband).
You're down towards London aren't you? Which means getting a bus up the M4 to Bristol, or vice versa, should be easy, direct, and fairly inexpensive.
Long distance relationships aren't much fun in my experience, and can stress a relationship. But it it's the right person, then they're worth attempting.

Former Member

Re: god i feel like a twat posting this - boy trouble

Originally posted by paperBprincess

so what should i do, do you think we could make it work or do you think i should just leave it to fade away?

Personally I'd try to make a go of it, but you both have to want it. Me and Laura are much further apart than that.

It can be crazy when you're apart but the together bits are fantastic.

I think for the relationship to work long term though one of you will have to move and that may not be something that works for you are your time of life.

Former Member

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
But it is easier than it used to be. It used to be letters and phone calls. Now you can keep in touch almost instantaneously with email, Instant Messenger programs, Internet telephony, webcams, and text messages, all of which cost next to nothing (though texts can cost a lot if you're sending dozens a day, and internet telephony really needs broadband).

But none of that compares to actually being with the person.

Former Member

Originally posted by DaisyChainThing
But none of that compares to actually being with the person.

i think this is lukes point - that no matter how much we talk etc its not the same as being able to kiss the person goodnight or just giving them a hug without being bkloody patronising *huggles* etc

Former Member

Originally posted by DaisyChainThing
But none of that compares to actually being with the person.

I didn't say it did. The point I was trying to make, though didn't make clear enough, is that it's easier to stay in touch nowadays, to speak to, and see, each other while physically appart. It's no substitute for being together, but it makes long distance relationships easier than they ever have been.

Former Member

I know it feels like it, but this isn't going to be your only ever boyfriend. You're only 16, you can't even drive. To be honest, this long distance relationship is never going to work.

You're best just to say yes to being friends and look for someone more local

Former Member

Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
I didn't say it did. The point I was trying to make, though didn't make clear enough, is that it's easier to stay in touch nowadays, to speak to, and see, each other while physically appart. It's no substitute for being together, but it makes long distance relationships easier than they ever have been.

No, I got your point. What I was saying was that it may make them easier, but it's still not good enough for a lot of people.