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Agh confusing!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK you guys must be getting fed up of me posting about the same blooming girl in the past few months... but the saga continues!
Basically after asking her out a few weeks ago (for the second time) and being rejected, I cooled down a bit. Then last week I was out with her, and after she'd been heavily flirting with me all evening and getting rather heavy, I thought that maybe she'd missed the point and decided to tell her straight. Her reply was "You're our friend" and left it at that.
So, once again, I told myself I don't want to lose what I have with her and not to pursue it anymore... but then I bumped into her last night. I was with her and she saw some bloke she fancied, and had a private chat with him before coming back to me really pissed off. She said she'd been playing hard to get with him, then did contact him but heard nothing for two weeks, and last night he told her he'd got back with his ex. She was saying she wondered what he saw in his ex over her, and that men are bastards, etc. etc. But wait a tick - she'd only been leading ME on the previous week before and treating me like shit, despite the fact I'd move mountains for her. I'm not perfect, but I know how to treat people, and if she's moaning about men being bastards to a guy who isn't then what the hell is she looking for? I remember we had a chat months before I started *liking* her, and I remember telling her about what I'd done for a date with somone just before, as she was saying she wished her ex did stuff like that.
As it was last night, I decided to play it cool and went off to find others, and then went early after i saw her again so i didn't do anything silly like last week. She certainly seems to value our friendship, and I just wish I could accept it like it is without getting cranky everytime I see her with other guys! Basically what I'm asking is is it worth just hanging in there and hoping that she'll get over her attraction to peoples' looks, and finally going for people based on their personality? Or is it just a waste of my time?
PS If you want to see the events in detail check my LJ... though last night's is a bit inaccurate in terms of my view on the situation cos i wasn't sober when I wrote it!
Basically after asking her out a few weeks ago (for the second time) and being rejected, I cooled down a bit. Then last week I was out with her, and after she'd been heavily flirting with me all evening and getting rather heavy, I thought that maybe she'd missed the point and decided to tell her straight. Her reply was "You're our friend" and left it at that.
So, once again, I told myself I don't want to lose what I have with her and not to pursue it anymore... but then I bumped into her last night. I was with her and she saw some bloke she fancied, and had a private chat with him before coming back to me really pissed off. She said she'd been playing hard to get with him, then did contact him but heard nothing for two weeks, and last night he told her he'd got back with his ex. She was saying she wondered what he saw in his ex over her, and that men are bastards, etc. etc. But wait a tick - she'd only been leading ME on the previous week before and treating me like shit, despite the fact I'd move mountains for her. I'm not perfect, but I know how to treat people, and if she's moaning about men being bastards to a guy who isn't then what the hell is she looking for? I remember we had a chat months before I started *liking* her, and I remember telling her about what I'd done for a date with somone just before, as she was saying she wished her ex did stuff like that.
As it was last night, I decided to play it cool and went off to find others, and then went early after i saw her again so i didn't do anything silly like last week. She certainly seems to value our friendship, and I just wish I could accept it like it is without getting cranky everytime I see her with other guys! Basically what I'm asking is is it worth just hanging in there and hoping that she'll get over her attraction to peoples' looks, and finally going for people based on their personality? Or is it just a waste of my time?
PS If you want to see the events in detail check my LJ... though last night's is a bit inaccurate in terms of my view on the situation cos i wasn't sober when I wrote it!
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Comments
my advice is to stick with the friendship, but try not to expect anything more. sounds like she wont change+goes for looks first (although in my opinion there's no point in having a fit b/f if he's got the personality of a cabbage
and dont worry about being jealous of her with other guys, bcos it is only natural. it will fade in time, but try to move on (dating wise), and possibly look for new girls to date!!:D
hope this helps
You've pretty much hit the nail on the head I think. I suppose I just need to appreciate what I have and make sure it never gets less...
i agree with everything that sponge bobs girl says but i just want to point out that in my experience freindships were one person is waiting for the other person to eventually fancy them back dont work very well
She sounds like she is messing you about, intentionallyu or otherwise, and although it's a hard thing to actually do, leaving it at that and getting opve rit is the best course of action.
also i'm going to add you to lj
LOL that's a good idea actually - though I don't want to not like her; we've had some fab times since we've known each other, and i want it to continue. I just made the mistake of starting to fancy her in December!
Not me, I always go out with friends. Think i have trust issues, so I have to make sure they're 'worth it'.
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