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Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi guys some of you might know i am gay. Well i have a chrush on this boy at school and i have asked people what should i do and some say don't tell him and some say tell him. Also I have had dreams about him and me as a couple and i wish it could be like that. What shall i do shall I tell him or shall I leave it has a sercet crush?

HELP!

:confused::confused:

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, going by memories of how cruel kids at school can be, i say look before you leap. there aren't very many openly gay people around at your age, so be careful.

    what i would do is try to have general (subtle) conversations with him about gay people and see how he reacts. if he gets all freaked out, don't tell him, but if he chats openly and sensibly about it, then yeah, tell him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re:Help

    He is staright i am gay he dosen't know that i am gay yes or no simple answer! Shall i telle him yes or no!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i gave you an answer.

    although you didn't mention he was straight. if he is, then what's the point in telling him?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    No. Unless you know him well enough to be able to work through it and still be friends, don't tell him.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no

    try and move on :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    although you didn't mention he was straight. if he is, then what's the point in telling him?

    :yes: if he's straight then there's nothing gonna happen is there? So you wouldn't gain anything from telling him, but you might lose a lot. So erm, yeh, what kaffrin said!

    Frankay
    x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    In all seriousness I'd strongly advise you not to tell him.

    Does anyone in your school know you're gay? About 3 years ago a guy in my year told everyone he was gay and it was possibly the worst thing he could have done. Teenagers aren't the most accepting of people and this guy got his life made hell right up to now. It turns out he said it as a kind of attention seeking ploy but even so, he became the focus of a lot of anti-gay activity.

    You've got maybe 4 years left of school and they'd be a lot easier if you didn't have that kind of hassle. Wait til you've left school and then you'll find people have grown up and become more accepting.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't necessarily advise you not to tell people you're gay, but I don't think it's wise to tell a straight guy you fancy him, as he won't return your feelings and will just be made uncomfortable.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If he's straight i wouldnt tell him, he might call you names etc and become really off with you.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    OK, this has happened to me a few times. (sigh) The only time I even seriously considered telling the girl in question was when it was someone I was really close to, and I knew that she's bi. She got a boyfriend literally the day before I told her and hadn't gotten around to telling me yet... so I was totally crushed but it took so much pressure off.

    However, the sitch at the moment is that I have really fallen for a different close friend but I know not to tell her because she disapproves of me being gay and it would do more harm than good.

    Not knowing your relationship to this boy, it seems from your post that you aren't close and you've made it clear that if he's gay he's not open about it - so can you be sure he isn't very homophobic? Can you be sure that he won't laugh in your face and then tell everyone at school that you're gay? I know it's harsh, but that would be terrible and you do have to consider it.

    Since you're fairly sure he's straight, so you won't have a relationship with him. It may ease your conscience to tell him, but would it strain any form of relationship you have right now? You could lose his friendship as well - is that what you want?
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