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Sister = hell

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What do you do when you really can't cope with your family members? My family as a whole, gets on really well. Except my sister. And whats even worse!! She goes on to her friends like: "my mum hits me all the time :( I'm an abused child" - my mum does occasionally discipline her harshly when she's swearing her head off BUT nothing like what a real victim of abuse goes through - with the fear + terror.

She's 13 and I'm 80% sure she's sexually active. With guys many years older than her as well. She thinks it makes her look cool.

It makes me feel sick, stressed and upset all at the same time and there's nothing I can do really. She lies about everything and even when you think she's being honest she's lying to your face. Hopefully when we move to Spain because she won't have any of her friends (some are nice but some are a bad influence) she'll settle down a bit. But for the time being :banghead: - social services even phoned up once asking my mum if she wants help sorting my sister out.

Sorry for the rant but she's driving me up the wall and I don't feel able to just 'be free' like a 16 year old should because she's so much hard work all my family have to take responsibility for her.

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    first of all *huggies*, sounds like your sister is driving you mad+i cant blame you for being so upset.
    i think you need to talk to your mum about how she's acting - and possibly consider social services help. im not saying they should take your sister away, of that your mum and dad are bad parents (in fact, they sound very tolerant and brave), but they are trained to deal with children like your sister.
    could you possibly talk to one of her nicer mates, and explain how worried you are. her friends may be worried about her aswell, but daren't say anything!!
    as for her being sexually active at such a young age, if you cant talk to her about STI's and pregnancy, try giving her some condoms. this isnt meant to encourage her, but to protect her from unexpected problems, so that she doesnt get ill or pregnant.
    try not to let it upset you too much, as you alone cant change her behaviour, but feel better knowing that you care about her and you are trying to help (i.e. by posting this thread on here).
    i really hope the situation gets better real soon :)
    how long is it until you move to spain???
    in the mean while, keep your spirits up as much as you can, and talk to your mates for support :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by spongebobsgirl
    and talk to your mates for support :D

    I think this is keeping me going - I can't really disclose the full details to them because it's a bit personal and makes me kinda embarressed to have a sister like that but they know when somethings up and give me hugs and comfort anyway.

    I don't know how to talk to my parents about it. I talked to her once (not about sex but about her general behaviour - she skives school all the time etc) and she just told me to stop lecturing her. Another time she seemed genuinely interested in what I was saying but she was actually lying to my face as I found out later.

    It's really my parents decision whether or not to get social services involved if you know what I mean. Personally - I think it might be a good thing - but my mum doesnt want my sister being labelled as someone with behaviouroul difficulties because then she'll get away with anything. Really the turth is she's completely spoilt and gets away with everything.

    Parents trust me more though and I'm allowed to tell her off and stuff and she often has a mardy but mum always backs me up.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    glad that your mates look after ya!!
    its good that your parents trust you, so at least they know ul b there watching out for your sister. i really cant think of anything else to suggest, and i can understand why your parents dont want social services involved - thats sort of a last resort.
    if she wont listen to you and take your opinions seriously, then is there any1 she really looks upto. maybe if somebody she admires talked to her, it'd give her a good kick up the ass. maybe one of her close mates, or another relative???
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Just let her carry on as she is, then she'll get into shitloads of trouble with the police and Social Services and maybe she'll calm down. Maybe you could follow her one night and see what she's doing and stop her? I thought it was just you moving to Spain, but since it's your whole family then you can't really get away from her. She should calm down eventually though. Hope it goes well.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Jazza Bing
    Just let her carry on as she is, then she'll get into shitloads of trouble with the police and Social Services and maybe she'll calm down. Maybe you could follow her one night and see what she's doing and stop her? I thought it was just you moving to Spain, but since it's your whole family then you can't really get away from her. She should calm down eventually though. Hope it goes well. [/QUOTE

    Follow her around? :eek2: I'd rather not. I just wish she would grow up and act her bloody age. Ok - we're all allowed to have tantrums, or off days now and again. But my sister so takes advantage of my parents leniancy towards these things and always blames it on one thing or another. She puts other kids down at school for 'not being as messed up' as her with classic lines like: "just because you have a perfect life" when my sister has always been spoilt - she's never wanted for anything! I used to be really bitter about this but I realised I'm happy with what I've got.

    I hope she does grow out of it before she has too many things she will live to regret. She calls my mum an alcoholic even though she goes out binge drinking at 13. She gets all her mates round and they drink beer and spin around trying to get drunk.

    If I could describe her in one word: retard
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Follow her around? :eek2: I'd rather not. I just wish she would grow up and act her bloody age. Ok - we're all allowed to have tantrums, or off days now and again. But my sister so takes advantage of my parents leniancy towards these things and always blames it on one thing or another. She puts other kids down at school for 'not being as messed up' as her with classic lines like: "just because you have a perfect life" when my sister has always been spoilt - she's never wanted for anything! I used to be really bitter about this but I realised I'm happy with what I've got.

    I hope she does grow out of it before she has too many things she will live to regret. She calls my mum an alcoholic even though she goes out binge drinking at 13. She gets all her mates round and they drink beer and spin around trying to get drunk.

    If I could describe her in one word: retard [/B][/QUOTE]

    And to think...I have all that to look forward to, mine is 10 this year...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey sweetie. it comes across your sister is attention seeking. Has anything happened in her life past/present for her to be like this? She is looking for attention for one reason or another, try and talk to her? ask her why etc, it might help her emotionally.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    no knowing her i can't judge whether this would help/hinder but is a suggestion. Show her this site. Show her people with real problems maybe she'll see what a twat shes being. in the mean time
    *huuuuuuugs*!
    Kirsty x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl_gunner
    no knowing her i can't judge whether this would help/hinder but is a suggestion. Show her this site. Show her people with real problems maybe she'll see what a twat shes being. in the mean time
    *huuuuuuugs*!
    Kirsty x

    she goes on this site already. :rolleyes: but knowing her - she browses/perves through the sex forum. I only happened to notice this once when she was on the phone and I saw the sex forum up and I think the topic she was reading was 'sex on a train'

    *shudders*

    And recently a lot of stuff has been going on but she was nasty before this - we've found out we're moving to Spain, my mum has been on sleeping-pills because she's a bit ill, Dad's had / having operations for cancer, our cousin hung himself, and my aunt died of cancer (funeral was last friday). But my sister of course being her worries more about the 'guys' in her life. I say that because she's best friends with them, then says they tried to rape her, then the next day she's flirting with them round here again - in my opinion what probably happened is he tried it on and she told him no but got pissed off anyway. My sister loves the drama about her - the best thing that could happen to her (from her point of view) would be something really awful, if you know what I mean.

    She just needs such a reality check!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    she goes on this site already. :rolleyes: but knowing her - she browses/perves through the sex forum. I only happened to notice this once when she was on the phone and I saw the sex forum up and I think the topic she was reading was 'sex on a train'

    *shudders*

    And recently a lot of stuff has been going on but she was nasty before this - we've found out we're moving to Spain, my mum has been on sleeping-pills because she's a bit ill, Dad's had / having operations for cancer, our cousin hung himself, and my aunt died of cancer (funeral was last friday). But my sister of course being her worries more about the 'guys' in her life. I say that because she's best friends with them, then says they tried to rape her, then the next day she's flirting with them round here again - in my opinion what probably happened is he tried it on and she told him no but got pissed off anyway. My sister loves the drama about her - the best thing that could happen to her (from her point of view) would be something really awful, if you know what I mean.

    She just needs such a reality check!

    :( sounds like she totally doesn't help stuff. she'll grow up, hopefully sooner rather than later :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you know what, she sounds just like my insane cousin when she was her age.

    and this might sound harsh, but the best thing to do is ignore her.

    you and your family sounds like you're having a right time of it lately, and if i were you, i'd just be spending loads of time with my parents, and when she has a stress about something, just say 'oh, that's interesting'.

    she is doing it for attention, and if you stop giving her it, then hopefully, she'll stop being such a brat.

    of course, this doesn't always work, but it's worth a try. just try not to let her get you down.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kaffrin
    and this might sound harsh, but the best thing to do is ignore her.

    :yes:

    It's attention she wants hun, having spoken to her before (you probably don't remember, it was months and months ago), she seemed so immature and I didn't believe she was 13.

    Just ignore her and she'll stop, same as with Lizzy. Although I'm not sure whether or not it actually works, I just kind of forget she's there and assume she's shut up.

    But I'm always here to talk to if she over-stresses you out :) you don't need it right now, so just rant at me if ya need to hun :)

    And if it gets too much to handle, you can always come move in with meh :p

    Love ya
    Frankay
    xxxxxx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You guys say ignore her, but what if she goes off after older guys who'll give her plenty of attention ..?? Tough Question..

    My cousin was allowed too much freedom and hung out witht he wrong crowd .. he got arrested 2 days ago for being a passenger in a stolen car!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Groovaybaby*
    Want me to have a word with her Rich? she used to listen to me. xx give us an email if u do. xx

    Thanks Lolliee.. don't know if I can update here the revelations incase it's a breach of her privacy :confused:

    but I'm worried about her and she really is being so naive and stupid about things and I'm too embarresed to talk to her about some of these things. Does anyone know anyone like a school nurse who I could get her to see? My school nurse at college was great for me last year when I was really upset / messed up and I went there once a week to have a chat and now things are a lot better :)

    anyway - does anyone know anyway to get in touch with a youth counsillor with training for drugs/sex/life issues - especially concerning teenagers

    Thanks if any of you do :), Rich
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well,

    i think thta if she carries on like that then she will be majorly isolated in spain and will end up alone. she's been highly stupid, a good taste of the silent treatment wouldn't go a miss, or go to the other extreme and embarrass her loads and take the piss out of her by swearing at her in spanish, and make a big fuss of her and she won't want attention.

    love ya

    luby
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by luby
    well,

    i think thta if she carries on like that then she will be majorly isolated in spain and will end up alone. she's been highly stupid, a good taste of the silent treatment wouldn't go a miss, or go to the other extreme and embarrass her loads and take the piss out of her by swearing at her in spanish, and make a big fuss of her and she won't want attention.

    love ya

    luby

    dont think either of that will work :confused:

    but anyway I'm sure there's jerks over in Spain just the same as here. You've got goths afterall :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by TheShyBoyInTheCorner
    You've got goths afterall :p

    *offended*
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *x*l'il miss socks*x*
    *offended*

    dont be offended :p I meant like if you have goths in spain you must have everything else as well :p
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