my dirty past...please help

Former Member

To tell all or not?????
Basically I am with a wonderful man whom I am engaged to.However recently my past is catching up with me.I have been with him for almost18mths.When we first got together I told a few white lies because I was afraid of what he would think of me and I wanted to be this perfect 'virgin'.........................
In the beginning I told him that I was a virgin and I wasn't even though I had been with a lad for 2.5 years.Its true-I never did it with him.
However I never went on to tell him the truth that in fact I had cheated and did it with someone else.Bad isn't it??????
Anyway me and that boyfriend split and I had 2others and all one offs and TOTALLY regret it.
You see my fiance has changed me.He's got me to be in touch with sensitivity and that is why I want to come clean but I am so scared it will ruin everything.
I just wished I told him at the beginning but I didn't.
So what dod I do.
I know from this you probably think I am so not worth helping cos what I have done is really bad but this is the first person I have loves so much and to me I feel like I have lost my virginity to.
I don't count the past but I really don't want to keep secrets from him but is it worth it?????
What do you reckon??????
I really would appreciate some help.Thanks

Former Member

I think you know what everyone's going to say here.

You obviously don't like lying to him, and rightly so, especially if you're going to marry him. I think you have to tell him. Otherwise you're just going to feel guilty for covering it up, and anyway dishonesty isn't a good basis for a marriage.

You shouldn't feel ashamed of the past, and he shouldn't love you any less for it. Be prepared for him to be angry and upset at your lying, but he should accept it in the end.

Former Member

ouch

Former Member

dont worry about it 2 much, because at the end of the day if he 's you enough to want to marry you, then he shouldn't be too bothered.
do be prepared for him to be abit upset though, as u did lie 2 him.

Former Member

He'll probably be mad, and hurt. Especially if he was a virgin and wanted your first time to be special or something. But he'll calm down over time

Former Member

Thanks guys for your help.I knew that was the thing to do but I needed encouragement. However out of curiosity what would you do.How do you reckon you would react.I just want to get myself fully prepared.
Any more opinions would be great too.
So............do yous really reckon it won't spoil the relationship.I am just so scared that he will se me in a different way and won't love me the same.

Former Member

Well its better to get it out of the way and in the open-
Otherwise the guilt your feeling (which you really shouldnt have to) will well up and eat you inside and could very well ruining your relationship long term if you dont tell him anyway-
I reckon he will forgive you- be a bit upset for a start at most!
So go do it sooner ratrher than later!!!

Former Member

He is going to be at least a little upset/angry. But you have to do it. The sooner the better.

Former Member

And regarding the 'not loving you the same' thing, do you really want him just to love you for someone you're not? If he truly loves you then your past shouldn't change things. But like I said, he's entitled to be upset at first.

Former Member

I agree with everyone else, if its worrying you so much then its better that you tell him. After all its not like you slept with loads of people. He might react badly at first so be prepared. Tell him all the reasons why you didn't tell the truth in the first place and I am sure he will forgive you.

Sxxx