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Single again
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok I'v got a really big problem,
well it started around this time last year when my bestest friend in the whole world asked me to go out with him but I was so against it cause he's my brothers best friend and mine and I didn't want to jeopardise either of them. Plus I didn't know if my brother would aprove or even my family as they were very close to him too, but to cut a long story short I gave in on the 21st of May, the day I graduated from school. To be honest I did it cause I was afraid to lose him as a friend. It felt like it was worth the risk. He was the sweetest most thoughtful man I had ever met and really believed he would never hurt me. He reasured me daily that he would never. To my surprise my brother and family and everyone I knew was thrilled cause he is just such a likable person. We were both interested in the same things and he adored the ground I walked on. I really didn't feel totally the same at the start but I said i'd give it a chance. As time passed I grew to love him sooo much. Like nothing I had ever felt. I learned who he really was, which is a very stubborn person but I dealt with that and it was ok. But then the new college year started and he moved into a different house, things started to change. We used spend a lot of time together and I think he began to get sick of me. He broke up with me one day and I was totally shocked but he took it back later that day saying he was just confused and couldn't lose me. I agreed we'd go back to normal. But soon he began to treat me, well not the way I would like to be treated and everytime I would try and bring it up he'd just tell me I was being silly and not to talk about it. Hello we are Irish and the men do NOT talk about their feelings. So this went on but at Christmas he came and stayed with my family for a week and I went down to his place and stayed for a week (we live an hour apart when not at college) and I mean he couldn't have been any nicer. It was great! But once college started back up it was like before. I felt so unwanted and one day I just had to bring it up and he broke up with me saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was completely heart broken.
That was exactly a month ago and I feel a little better but not really. I find it so har and everyone is completely shocked cause lets say he's not that nice looking and I am nice enough but that bugs me cause love has nothing to do with looks but in fairness I'm a nice person. I only want to please people but I dunno!
Now I'm left so alone and dunno whats happened. One minute he says maybe we shouldn't talk and a few days later he's texting saying we should and then when I meet him in person he acts as if he hates me and other times Its like old times having a laugh!
To top everything off him and my brother aren't talking which makes me feel even worse.
Please could someone give me some advice. I know he still has feelings for me but is just afraid, of what I dunno!
What'll I do??????????
Plus I get on so well with his family, he has 10 brothers and sisters, and thats killing me not seeing them cause they live so far away I can't just see them anytime!!
Help???
well it started around this time last year when my bestest friend in the whole world asked me to go out with him but I was so against it cause he's my brothers best friend and mine and I didn't want to jeopardise either of them. Plus I didn't know if my brother would aprove or even my family as they were very close to him too, but to cut a long story short I gave in on the 21st of May, the day I graduated from school. To be honest I did it cause I was afraid to lose him as a friend. It felt like it was worth the risk. He was the sweetest most thoughtful man I had ever met and really believed he would never hurt me. He reasured me daily that he would never. To my surprise my brother and family and everyone I knew was thrilled cause he is just such a likable person. We were both interested in the same things and he adored the ground I walked on. I really didn't feel totally the same at the start but I said i'd give it a chance. As time passed I grew to love him sooo much. Like nothing I had ever felt. I learned who he really was, which is a very stubborn person but I dealt with that and it was ok. But then the new college year started and he moved into a different house, things started to change. We used spend a lot of time together and I think he began to get sick of me. He broke up with me one day and I was totally shocked but he took it back later that day saying he was just confused and couldn't lose me. I agreed we'd go back to normal. But soon he began to treat me, well not the way I would like to be treated and everytime I would try and bring it up he'd just tell me I was being silly and not to talk about it. Hello we are Irish and the men do NOT talk about their feelings. So this went on but at Christmas he came and stayed with my family for a week and I went down to his place and stayed for a week (we live an hour apart when not at college) and I mean he couldn't have been any nicer. It was great! But once college started back up it was like before. I felt so unwanted and one day I just had to bring it up and he broke up with me saying he wasn't ready for a relationship. I was completely heart broken.
That was exactly a month ago and I feel a little better but not really. I find it so har and everyone is completely shocked cause lets say he's not that nice looking and I am nice enough but that bugs me cause love has nothing to do with looks but in fairness I'm a nice person. I only want to please people but I dunno!
Now I'm left so alone and dunno whats happened. One minute he says maybe we shouldn't talk and a few days later he's texting saying we should and then when I meet him in person he acts as if he hates me and other times Its like old times having a laugh!
To top everything off him and my brother aren't talking which makes me feel even worse.
Please could someone give me some advice. I know he still has feelings for me but is just afraid, of what I dunno!
What'll I do??????????
Plus I get on so well with his family, he has 10 brothers and sisters, and thats killing me not seeing them cause they live so far away I can't just see them anytime!!
Help???
0
Comments
1) talk to a member of his family, for example: his mum. maybe if you're close as you say, then she'll explain to him that you miss his friendship - that way you'll at least be on speaking terms again.
2) talk to your brother and let him know that you dont want them to fall out because of you or anything
he sounds very confused, which is why he's ok with you 1 time and he doesnt wana speak the next???
if you know any people at his college, ask them about his behaviour - they may know something
hope you figure this out