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can someone help me figure out what he wants?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Theres this lad in my school in lower 6th, it started as just smiling at eachother when we didnt even know eachother, i found out he fancied me, added him to my msn, we chatted, he got my number, we've been textin now for about 2weeks, talking in skool and we kissed in skool aswell.
Now me being drunk, text him last night and said, basically, whats he after? and he best not be using me. He text back and said, he's not just after a shag, but he's not after a realtionship either, confused me slight. Then i said fair enough its cool and i dont want a realationship just yet as i just split form my bf. Then he texts me and says we'll keep it casual, :-s ahh im soo confuzzled! lol.
He also text me saying what we gona do tomorrow, have fun or just chill? Im thinking all he's after is a sort of fuck buddy type thing? do you agree? but he also text me other week when he was drunk saying he wanted me there loads, so i think he fancies me but doesnt want the full thing.
sorry if that made nooo sense, but help me if you can, please?
thank you
Now me being drunk, text him last night and said, basically, whats he after? and he best not be using me. He text back and said, he's not just after a shag, but he's not after a realtionship either, confused me slight. Then i said fair enough its cool and i dont want a realationship just yet as i just split form my bf. Then he texts me and says we'll keep it casual, :-s ahh im soo confuzzled! lol.
He also text me saying what we gona do tomorrow, have fun or just chill? Im thinking all he's after is a sort of fuck buddy type thing? do you agree? but he also text me other week when he was drunk saying he wanted me there loads, so i think he fancies me but doesnt want the full thing.
sorry if that made nooo sense, but help me if you can, please?
thank you
0
Comments
if you don't want him to just be a shag then it's simple, don't have sex with him! you don't have to jump into bed with anyone so take it slow. hang around with each other more like go out on dates or shopping and just kiss. build up to sex rather than do it right from the start. he will probably respect you a lot more for that too.
if things go well then 'seeing' each other might turn into a relationship but try not to overanalyse things and make it all too serious right away -thats something a lot of girls make the mistake of doing.
I agree :yes:
And the last bit..that's so me :rolleyes:
me too *sigh*
:no: cos he went on a night out in b'pool few weeks ago and i said ooh have fun pullin all the ladies, and he said i wont do and we both know why
He must like you, maybe he's playing it cool to not scare you off or to make himself look too eager
no no no. reread my post, there was some good advice in there. pfftt
Sadly I have to agree, and gosh, I hate agreeing with people:p
I've won you over!
I know quite a few people that begin dating someone, then one or both of them finish the relationship for grounds along the lines of *they weren't who i first thought they were* which can hurt, and spoil a potentially beautiful friendship.
Also, there's nothing wrong with platonic male/female friendship - there doesn't have to be an agaenda ... friendship isn't always a prequel to a dating relationship .... this is something that i really feel that I have to try and remember, but when I do it seems to pay off in that I have amazing friendships with a couple of guys that i just couldn't live without.
Though as for the question "what does he want" - think about what YOU deserve? Would you like a guy that will be a good friend, who will love, respect and honour you and treat you like a Princess?
I'll learn one of these days...I think. :rolleyes: :banghead:
Let me take a fraction of a second to run this through my 'Male Translator':
"I want a shag... but none of the commitment"
It sounds like you have a potential boyfriend here,
Having said all of this, the 'casual' ness may also be because he knows you just had a breakup and doesn't want to screw things up with you.
Sorry to say this, but somehow just I don't see *just friendship* keeping his attention!!!!! They have already gone into the snogging phase and this tends to be a one way door. After all, this is a hormone ridden teenager we are talking about here....
I agree with the second point, You couldn't possibly count on all your fingers and toes the number of times I have been glad of my platonic male/female relationships. But you can count the number of times I have stuck my toungue down their throats on a closed fist, shoved up an elephants backside.
Some things really are worth waiting for!
heheh
Let me begin my harsh condescending retort by quoting 'lipsy':
Whilst I happen to agree that a long term relationship can be one of the most rewarding experiences in life, let's face it: They are fu**ing hard work. And it shouldn't come as a surprise to that there are many people for whom this is just too much *like* hard work..... especially if you are, say, only 17! The sad fact is that the opinion of many young men (especially teenagers!) on relationships can vary from:
"Can't be arsed"
to
"I'd rather keep drinking and sleeping around."
Now, I am not suggesting that this neccessarily represents this guys views, all I am saying is that they have texted each other and snogged in high-school. It may be a tad bit premature to be assuming that this guy is after a full on "relationship", and extreemly nieve to think that this hormone ridden stud is going to wait around for Tink to build a friendship first if he is after something physical.
She probably *can* turn this into a friendship, Zizzle, but that is all that it would probably ever be. If she really wants to try to get into the boyfriend/girlfriend zone, she should strike now whilst the iron is hot.
However Zizzle, I guess this bickering is all a little achademic because as I have said before it isn't up to us what happens next.
The game now rests firmly with *Tink* and this young sixth former....
good luck you two... whatever happens.
~Dr Smith
Though I totally take your points on the attitude of teenage guys (though i don't think its just the male sex that have attitudes along those lines! - heehee!)
I'm probably just one of those rare *old before my time* types; but I guess I just feel I've done the purely physical dating routine and now if I was to enter into any relationship I'd be looking for something a little more substantial .... I frequently forget that not everyone thinks the same way as me and/or is at that stage in their lives, so for that I apologise most humbly.
Though I do still feel (as for your "strike while the iron's hot" theory) that if this relationship is *meant* to be then it will be, now or in 10yrs time ... and if it's not then it will inevitably fizzle out whatever happens.
This is just getting ugly
I'm with you on this one, I've done the whole 'waking up next to somebody so hideously fugly that I'd rather bite my arm off than waking them up so I would have to ask them their name' game....
... let's just say it got filed in the "never again" drawer.
Relationships are much more fun. Watching other peoples collapse spectacularly from the comfortable confines of my computer screen..... even more fun.
Wait, that's sadistic.
But as to the whole "fate" thing... well, in theory if it was *meant* to happen, you could sit at home all the time, confident that some day they would crash through your ceiling in a freak skydiving accident...
... So personally I don't see anything wrong with giving fate a helping hand now and then.
Is "fugly" a whole new level of ugliness??? You know how inner-beauty is important too? Well is a fugly person who is completely devoid of both inner and outer beauty?
You mean thats NOT how it works? Aww shucks! Does this mean that I shall actually have to make an effort to get out there and meet people? Or does it just mean I should paint a big day-glo X on the roof of my house to "give fate a helping hand" Which would you recommend???
Hee hee!
No in all seriousness I do think friendship is the *best* way to go for me, and what I seek out of a relationship ... but I am prepared to concede that it may not be the same for others, in differing situations
plus he kept kissin n cuddlin me
You are so in there, it is making me sickeningly jelous.
I obviously need to paint my day-glo X bigger.
Perhaps painting "get it here" below might be a helpful.
hehe
Have you asked him how he feels bout being second best?;)
xxx