helping someboady deal with death?

Former Member

its in the title really, is there anything else i can do apart from be there to talk to?

Former Member

Just make sure they know that you are there for them, there is not much else you can do.

Iv had to do this twice and its not a nice thing but as long as your there it will help them get through it.

Former Member

try not to ask them if they are ok, because they will say yes, even though you both know they arent. just tell them you're there for them and spend time with them, doing what ever they want. and sooner or later they will just start talking about it, and when they do, dont interupt them, just nod in the right places and listen to them

Former Member

The worst thing anyone can do is avoid the person. I vividly remember people crossing the road to avoid me because they just did not know what to say, which is understandable they wouldnt want to put their foot in it.

What I would reccomend is do your best to just act as though nothings happened and carry on as normal. If they want to talk about whats happened they will. Obviously you can say "sorry to hear about whoever" and leave it at that. Just try to be your normal self, im sure thats how most people would feel.

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
What I would reccomend is do your best to just act as though nothings happened and carry on as normal. If they want to talk about whats happened they will. Obviously you can say "sorry to hear about whoever" and leave it at that. Just try to be your normal self, im sure thats how most people would feel.

Yeah I think I agree with that. Obviously, say something to show that you're thinking of them, and that you care, and then carry on as normal- this could help them keep their mind off stuff too. Then if they wanna talk to you about it, then they'll be the ones to bring it up.

Hope that helps. It's a very difficult matter though, hope it goes ok xxxx

Former Member

Be there for them. At the moment I've just had my aunt and cousin die and I'm coping quite well, and I've told my friends, and they treated me a bit cautiously at first but now they know it's just the same me as always. I guess if I break down further on down the road then they'll be there for me, but I think it would have been awful if people had been avoiding me.

Think the best thing to do is just act normal - let them know you're there for them but just that... life goes on?

Former Member

i agree with the not tiptoeing round them.

best thing to do, i think, is let them know that whatever they want to say you'll listen to, and you'll be there for them. and then just get on with life.


my only experience with helping someone through grief is with my cousin when my aunt (her mum) died last year. but i suppose that was different, cause we were both missing her.

we used to chat about the memories we had of her, laugh about what she'd be doing now, organising heaven and stuff. don't presume they don't want to talk about the dead person. we always thought that the best way to get over her not being here now is to never forget the times she was here.

Former Member

Im going by my hubbys reaction after death and he did not want to talk about it, still doesent tbh and many years have past. I on the other hand like to talk about stuff so sometimes find it hard because he doesent want to talk.
I beleive men kind of act strong and dont show their feelings like women do. Women like to talk and remember the person, smile about stuff that they did whereas men just dont seem to want to open up.

I hope that made sense, it does to me anyhow. My excuse is im tired.

Former Member

my grandad passed away last year+my boyfriend was brilliant. he totally supported me+let me know that he would be there for me, but he also didnt push me to talk about it.
just be there for your friend, dont treat her any differently. just let them know they can talk to you+leave it then, they'll know where to find you