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I'm Losing Him...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
The guy I've loved for 3 years went to college last year.
When we first met, he had long hair, wore black ALL the time and was into Metallica and NiN...
After a year at college, he's now cut all his hair off, wears what could be described as "rude-boy" clothing and listens to "drum and bass to the untrained ear" as he eloquently puts it..
I however, have been the slightly odd, dark person I've always been... Into gothicness and metal/rock music...
I'm so scared I'm losing him... Help?
Ilora x
When we first met, he had long hair, wore black ALL the time and was into Metallica and NiN...
After a year at college, he's now cut all his hair off, wears what could be described as "rude-boy" clothing and listens to "drum and bass to the untrained ear" as he eloquently puts it..
I however, have been the slightly odd, dark person I've always been... Into gothicness and metal/rock music...
I'm so scared I'm losing him... Help?
Ilora x
0
Comments
and usually they change more on the outside than on the inside.
so he went to college and changed his style... this happens all the time. he's probably still the same guy he was before he left.
and if you love/d him for who he was, it shouldn't make that much of a difference.
if he's changed his whole personality, you'll find that either he's putting on an act now, or he was putting on an act before. and you might never find out which.
Still love him so much tho
Ilora x
Ilora x
I know you're thinking that's a load of crap, but people do change over time.
Mr_Wobble
Sorry, what do you mean then?
I think youre just scared you dont fancy him anymore. He has started dressing in a way that you find unnattractive and listening to embarrassing music.
Problem is, hes fully within his rights to change his image, as are you fully within your rights to dress the same way forever. People change all the time, he will probably change many times, as will you. I used to have bright pink spikey hair and wore punky clothes, but these days I just wear normal clothes, I still make an effort and look nice, but I dont go out of my way to look alternative anymore. My husband used to be a full on rocker with waist length bleached hair and leathers. Nowadays he couldnt look more different, he has short spikey hair and I dont always like his clothes - hes just bought himself the most god awful lambretta jumper that ive told him hes only allowed to wear when hes not with me
I feel that you are now embarrassed about your boyfriend because you feel he is becoming part of a group that you previously would have ridiculed, yet you still love him. Of course you will have conflicting feelings.
Hopefully him changing his image wont ruin a perfectly good relationship for you, and I hope he still treats you the same as he did before. As long as hes not trying to make you change to be like him, theres no reason why you cant still get along, and if you dont want to go out with him anymore, I hope it doesnt ruin your friendship. Different social groups ARE allowed to mix with each other, just examine your real feelings about it, and make sure youre not feeling slightly snobby against anyone who doesnt look alternative (i dont mean that in a nasty way)
drum and bass is not embaressing. it's just not to be listened to at exceddingly high volume for more than 4 hours.
and averagly has shit emcees.
other than it its dark blud!
carry on..
this is what you want
Helpful and incisive as ever, I see.
What do you mean then?
If he hasn't changed his personality but he's changed his clothes and his taste in music then perhaps you were as much in love with the image as you were with the boy wearing it.
If he's changed more than that, then perhaps the relationship has come to it's end, if youi don't like the person he has changed into. He's changed, he might change back but don't stay with him on the off-chance that he will.
Either way perhaps it's at the end- if you can't love him despite his clothes and music, or you can't love his changes, then you don't love him anymore. Simple as, I'm afraid.
Well hello
HE'S MINE
even though he has a girlfriend
Luby
ohhhhhhh
(luby keeps on dreaming)
I have to say he's quite cute, despite being the total opposite of my usual guy...
Ilora, just follow your heart and talk to him about how you feel... Maybe he's just changed how he looks to fit in with the people at college and so that he doesn't get a load of hassle...