Internet meet ups

Former Member

Hey everyone,

Just wondering if I could get a bit of advice and sensible words from anyone who's met up with people they've met on the internet. Basically I've been chatting to this guy for a couple of weeks who I really really like (and even fancy quite a lot, bizarre as it sounds since I've never met him...) and he says he feels the same about me; and I think we're going to meet up.

Thing is, I've always been quite cynical about meeting people from the net and just said 'no, I'd never do it' so now I'm on really uncertain ground. I've talked to him on the phone too, and when we chat he's on webcam so I know he looks like he says he does etc, also lives with his mum so I've seen her, and other little things which reassure me that he's the person he says he is and not just some psycho. Also, he's let me make the first move about lots of things like msn address, phone number and even deciding to meet up. BUT I know some psychos are really clever, so I can't be 100% sure.

So basically, 2 things -

1. If anyone has any advice about meeting up they'd like to share, please do! I know to tell a friend where I'm going with him, and I've been advised to get them to call me about an hr into the date and have a code phrase or something to use in case I need a get-out cause. Any other tips or reality checks welcome though!

2. He suggested going to the cinema, which would be quite nice because if we're getting on great we needn't go, but if we're both a bit nervous then it's something concrete to be doing, if you see what I mean. But then a friend pointed out to me that it could be weird sitting next to him in the dark for several hrs when I've never met him before! So what else could we do? Has anyone who's done this before got any good ideas for what to do to break the ice, etc?

Thanks v much people, and don't worry I'm doing a search as well but I just wondered if I could spark off any new advice...

Former Member

Public place. And talk I think. I met some people off the internet once but one of them was so pretty and I fancied her so much and she was so nice I couldn't say anything!! But that's not important.

First rule is to be safe: if you don't feel comfortable about doing something or going somewhere you don't have to - I know many friends who have just 'gone along' with whatever the other persons said and got into potentially dangerous situations for cortesy's sake.

Also - don't have your expectations too high. Just meet up and have a bit of a friendly chat and stuff and make it really informal like you were meeting up with a friend. I'd say no to the cinema idea as well because it doesn't really give you mcuh to talk about...

Other than that I'm not sure what else to say (and grrr @ you you've reminded me of that girl sigh)

Former Member

meet up in a place you know really well. get him to come to you. cause if he does turn out to be a bit dodge, and you're in a strange place, you'll have no idea where to go to disappear.

and when i met mr. kaff in really similiar circumstances, we went bowling. it's light, you're in a public place so you're safe, but it's still loads of fun.

and it'll probably be weird the first time you meet. don't worry about it. you get used to them being a real person, and not an online entity.

Former Member

Thanks shyboy, I know I do need to make sure I don't expect too much so I'm not disappointed if nothing happens!

And kaffrin also I know it'll be weird... hopefully not too dreadful though... and yes, he said he'd come here so we could even meet in my local Starbucks or something! Aaah, I feel at home there. And it would be so romantic.

Former Member

Most deffinately let someone know where you are and roughly what time your gonna be home. If you get on well and decide to stay with him longer then obviously contact this person to let them know your safe.
Could you take a friend and he take a friend ? that way your not alone (was just a thought), being the first time you have actually met if you have a friend things might not be as awkward.

Former Member

Originally posted by perfect***day
And kaffrin also I know it'll be weird... hopefully not too dreadful though... and yes, he said he'd come here so we could even meet in my local Starbucks or something! Aaah, I feel at home there. And it would be so romantic.

it's not really really weird or anything, it'd just odd to talk to someone you've only ever typed to before... we hadn't even talked on the phone when we met, so i had no idea what his voice sounded like or anything. you get used to it after about 10 minutes or so.

starbucks is a great idea, cause it's public, but also kind private, if you get me.

and good luck!

Former Member

When I met someone like this, we went to Starbucks, then the cinema, so you get to chat and then if you don't like them, watch the film and you don't have to talk to them lol. The problem is that I do like this guy still, but he now has a gf (he didn't before) and is at uni

Former Member

As people have said, make sure you stick to a public place, which you know, also make sure people know where you are and what your likely plans are. If you are not comfortable with meeting up just yet dont. Make sure its the right thing to do. It could though end up being one of the best things you do. Just make sure you do it safely.

Former Member

Tell people where you're going, get someone to ring you up "for a natter" every couple of hours or so, and STAY IN PUBLIC. At least till you know he's not a nutter anyway.

It's fun, bowling is better than the cinema IMHO because it's more interactive, and it's a good way to admire their arse if you fancy them:p

Former Member

Originally posted by Kermit


It's fun, bowling is better than the cinema IMHO because it's more interactive, and it's a good way to admire their arse if you fancy them:p

I hadn't thought of that!

Thanks everyone for the advice, I'll let you know if it goes well or if he really is a psycho...!

Former Member

Please, just be careful hun.

xx

Former Member

i wana meet someone....and he's lovely...not sure if he wants to meet me tho but u have to be so careful they are who they say they are.


just be careful, like everyone has said.

i met molo in the summer, i took my friend with me and he came down to us, my friend left us after about an hour though, but after she knew i was safe with him it was a bit strange to start cos he sounded differnt from how i'd thought even though i'd heard his voice before then.

have fun if you do meet up with him

Former Member

Re: Internet meet ups

Originally posted by perfect***day
Hey everyone,

Just wondering if I could get a bit of advice and sensible words from anyone who's met up with people they've met on the internet. Basically I've been chatting to this guy for a couple of weeks who I really really like (and even fancy quite a lot, bizarre as it sounds since I've never met him...) and he says he feels the same about me; and I think we're going to meet up.

i met my bf on the net, we met up and we've been together for two years now, so theres a bit of a booster for you!

ClaireBear

Hiya,
Just like everyone's said, you need to be careful. There are a few rules about meeting people offline that are worth sticking to, you can read them here. They're well worth taking note of because, frankly, you don't know this person, who they really are or what they may want from you.

CB

Former Member

Thanks CB