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Relationships with the ex
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hey every1!
I was just wondering what every1's r/ship is like with your ex's. Cos me and my ex aren't getting on at all. We were meant to stay good friends cos we were really close etc. but now it's like he wishes I didn't exist which I find really hurtful. Some of you mayb think it's cos I'm not over him, but I so am lol.
Anway, any replies would be much appreciated <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
*~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif">
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif">
I was just wondering what every1's r/ship is like with your ex's. Cos me and my ex aren't getting on at all. We were meant to stay good friends cos we were really close etc. but now it's like he wishes I didn't exist which I find really hurtful. Some of you mayb think it's cos I'm not over him, but I so am lol.
Anway, any replies would be much appreciated <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
*~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif">
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif">
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Comments
Seriously, you never are! It's really dodgy though coz it was someone you could speak to bu they've gone. Give it time, it may help... but don't push him into it!
The relationship i have with my ex can only be described as really really wierd!
I have to work with him once a week, altho im leavin my job next week (YAY!) so wont see him as much.
Anyway, @times we get on really really well,we can talk about anything, we laff, joke,make each other smile, go out together etc etc.
But then other times hell go in seriously big moods and wont tell me what iv done.He gets seriosly jealous if he sees me with another bloke (even tho he has a new girlf) and blanks me or bitches to me if iv hurt him somehow. Most of the time im not even aware iv done anything wrong.
Thing is at the same time, i still love him to pieces, not in a relationship kinda way but just as a person, <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> and it hurts me when i see him with others too <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> I have a boyf as well who is great and a lot better bloke than my ex could ever be.
Staying friends after a break up is never as easy as it first may seem is it? @heaven scent - The only reason i can think of for the blanking is that he cant handle only being friends with you, he might not be over you entirely, or sometimes if uv been really close to someone it hurts to see them with some one else. Its hard, and i dont really know what u can do to solve it.. me and mens minds dont click very well. Any blokes wana help us out on this one?
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> LXxx
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/otn/angels/littleangel.gif">
Me and my ex still talk and get on but we split up on good terms, we split up coz we'd grown apart and just didn't feel the same about eachother anymore, we was just rowing constantly and we both knew it was ridiculous. At first he was still phoning me for chats and that but he doesn't call anymore, i hardly see him now, but I don't feel anything at all for him now so it doesn't really bother me. We've both moved on.
It's nice to know though that if i do ever bump into him there won't be any bad feeling between us and we'd still get on.
Genie x
*~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif">
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Denial plays a role, the truth is sometimes harder to deal with than we think........and some of never truly let go.
Give it time.......things might improve.
Never piss into the wind!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/cool7.gif">
Like u Heaven Scent HE woz the one that said still be mates.
I agreed even though i woz really pissed off wit him etc (I dumped him) & he went 2 his Dad's down near Southampton the next day ne way.
Ne way he foned me a couple of times etc & everything woz fine between us till he got back. Then he just ignored me etc.
It wasn't until a couple of months later when i'd been wit my current bf about a month that he started contacting me again & being all nice.
Then he found out about my bf & started slagging me & my bf off etc. Now i don't want ne thing 2 do wit him. I wrote about sum of this in more detail in my livejournal but basically i think he's a complete wanker & want him outta my life.
In my experience, its always strange when you've just split up, but it tends to improve over time.
Give it time, but dont push to be mates, let him move on if he want to.
*~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif">
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Sod it then!
If he isnt making any effort, then he doesnt deserve your friendship! Just stop trying with him, let him deal with it on his own!
His loss, not yours!
That's just how I feel: if he can't make the effort then why should I! lol.
*~OtHeR - wOrLdLy~* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/angel.gif">
<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.stopstart.fsnet.co.uk/smilie/elefant.gif">
Exactly hun!!! Thats the way i feel 2!! Stuff em!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
i emailed him again a few weeks after and we tried to stay in touch, only that didnt work either coz he couldnt really be bothered and wasnt being very nice... recently he emailed me to wish me luck in my exams, and ever since we've been emailing and send each other a few texts occasionally. i think it woudl be awkward if we met up now, luckily he got into his first choice uni that wasnt my first choice! (we applied for the same unis), he's still with the girl he started seeing after me. but i like that i have some contact with him, even if it does make me feel a bit odd sometimes.
and the other i have no contact with. even though he owes me money <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif">
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
My most recent ex I don't really get along with anymore. Its a shame because before we started going out we were really good friends, he was always there for me and stuff and made me laugh, I only got to see the real side of him when we started going out though lol. He's doing stupid wankerish things now anyway like being all over this other girl RIGHT in front of me when I went out recently...and keeps asking me to go out places with him. Strange.
When I broke up with her I said we'd be friends but I`ve quickly learned I can`t stand her. Plus she doesn`t seem to be getting the hint so if I have to tell her directly this is gonna turn in to some serious shit.
So the moral of the story is: never say to ure ex that you`ll be friends when u break up...bad idea.
"Honesty is just an excuse for lack of imagination."
[This message has been edited by Talyn (edited 21-08-2001).]
I need to wash myself again to hide all the dirt and pain, but I'd be scared that there's nothing underneath
Probably the statement 'we'll can be friends' is well intentioned. We think we can handle it and want it to happen but once the reality of the break up sinks in it can affect us in ways we didn't anticipate: anger, sadness, jealousy, dislike, obsession, regret ... uncomfortable feelings and oops we find we can' t handle it at all.
Sometimes time needs to pass to let the emotional dust settle before you can do the 'friends' thing.
Sometimes you realise you were never friends in the first place: Once stripped of the bonds of intimacy there's nothing left in common.