boosting confidence?

Former Member

apart from not being in the mood at the mo, im really really low on confidence about havin sex with my bf. Dont know why, id be ok if he went on top but im just nervous and all funny about going on top. Its not like i havent done it before, so i dont know whats wrong. Any one got any ideas on how i can boost my confidence? Thank yooouu

Former Member

dutch courage? i used to be scared of going on top but now i love it, its much more enjoyable for both i think, he gets a good view and gets in deep and you can control which buttons he pushes, id say just go for it, in the middle of a session when youve loosened up a little, you'll never go back me dear

Former Member

I know exactly what you mean. I've never felt comfortable on top...I feel like I'll do something wrong or the man wont enjoy it. It's made me refuse to do it with a couple of boyfriends but I've got over it now.

I don't know what advice to give other than go for it. I agree with Char_baby, it feels fantastic when you're comfortable with it. See if you can get him to start off on top and then swap places when you feel ready for it. You'll already be into the swing of things so hopefully you'll have forgotten your nerves.

Former Member

I used to be like that; it took a lot of encouragement from, trust in, and extensive flattery of how sexy i looked from my (now ex) boyfriend to persuade me not to feel too self-cconscious being on top, but trust me it was fun once i felt comfortable about it!

Also, people often slate dutch courage because 'you shouldn't have to get drunk to have sex' etc but that's irrelevant imho if you're in a happy and trusting relationship, so go for that. It's great for loosening up a bit and once you've done it for the first time, you'll feel less self-conscious after that.

Have fun

Former Member

Originally posted by xXxHelzxXx
I know exactly what you mean. I've never felt comfortable on top...I feel like I'll do something wrong or the man wont enjoy it.

I don't know how it is for other blokes, but having my girl on top does nothing for me (feeling wise). I always encourage her to get up there tho, because of what it does for her.

Former Member

thing is though, my bf wont go on top, i think either he's lazy or he has no confidence either! we both as bad as each other! its upto me if we wana shag to do it, i do it for a bit n then get really self-concious n wierd n stop.

Former Member

well i think you should make him do some of the work! tell him if you have to do it and it makes you uncomfortable, then he needs to even though it makes him uncomfortable!

may sound daft but ever think it might be because he leaves you to do all the work that you're a bit self concious being in control all the time? maybe if he went on the top sometimes you'd be able to relax and get used to it before you built up the courage to go on top or something? just a thought

Former Member

I'm amazed that you can have a problem self confidence wise doing that... my gf and I usually start with me on top.... then she goes on top for a while... then back to me being on top.

Is it performance you are worried about, or how you look while you are up there?

Damn poms :P

Former Member

There is your problem, thinking about it in the first place!

Sex such be a spontaneous passionate thing you bvoth really enjoy- shouldnt be time for time thinking of reflection!

Former Member

Originally posted by Docter Lurve
There is your problem, thinking about it in the first place!

Sex such be a spontaneous passionate thing you bvoth really enjoy- shouldnt be time for time thinking of reflection!

i agree with doctor lurve and have to say you shouldnt care what he thinks, do what you want, if you want to go on top then go on top, its all about being spontaneous.