Do I want a girlfriend?

Former Member

It seems to be that modern society places a lot of pressure on teenagers to have relationships. Certainly at my school it seems nearly everyone is trying to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.

But when I think about it, getting a girlfriend doesn't seem to have much appeal to me. I'm not gay or anything, and I have had girlfriends before; I've just never gone out LOOKING for one. One the other side of the coin however, I do sometimes feel left out.

Part of the problem may be that I have little self confidence, but I'm not sure what to do.

Former Member

I personally go through phases, i want a bloke, i don't want one. I quite enjoy being single and being able to do a slapper night....... get off with whoever i like. But i like someone to go home to......to cuddle. I just think you go for it, if you meet anyone!!!!!!!

Former Member

im happy in a relationship. its steady its constant i know i can look to him when im sad <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

but sometimes, i wonder what it would be like to be with someone else. just for a change. i love my boyf, but temptaion occurs just sometimes. especially when we have a fight, i want to go out and have fun with my friends and just be naughty and not care.

in the end, people are happy in different situations, mayb im too young to be tied down (im 16) maybe i should go out and get laid! i dont really know, either way, ill be happy. u can be happy alone, or with someone. ull always want what u cant have <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

Former Member

I really would like to have a boyf, for a change, but the fact is iv been single for so long that the idea really scares me!

Sure bein single is fun, but iv got to the stage where pulling random blokes just doesnt make me happy anymore <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

Lxxx

<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

---

<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/otn/angels/littleangel.gif"&gt;

Former Member

I think that if you are young there is no rush to go and find yourself a boyf/girlf. When I was younger i used to just 'see' blokes and go around snogging everyone - i loved it!! I didn't get my first 'proper' boyfriend until i was 18 and that lasted two years! I've been single for about a year now and i'm loving it - i mean i've had a few silly relationships since splitting up with him but they haven't really lasted that long! Most of my mates have got boyfs but it don't bother me, i'm happy and i have a laugh!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/cool.gif"&gt;

Former Member

hello OPENUP so ware in essex are you then i coem from essex but getting back to the girlfriend part its nice to have someone there when you get home but its much more fun being single i know as all my friends have partners and there always moaning about one thing or another so thats why i dont get into a relationship its nice just going out doing what you want dont have to answer to no one and its great!


i can only be nice to 1 person a day today is not your day today isnt looking good either!

Former Member

I can tell you something, mate. When you want a girlfriend, you'd know it. These damned hormones have a way of letting you know <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">.

Myself? if you read M'y love interest *sighs*' thread you'll see i madly fancy someone. I don't think you should activly look for some one that would go out with you, but look for someone you'd like to go out with.

---

---

Be yourself, baby!

Girl-From-Mars

i really want a boyfriend. and i know that this is the time im least likely to get one, for that exact reason! tonight i was surrounded by 2 couples, my other friends were in the oither "group" and werent really talking to us... and it got darker, and more and more romantic, sitting on rugs outside, candles in little paper holders that threw patterns everywhere, ones in water, ones on tables, 15 on gateposts at the other end of the big garden... and they got more and more involved with each other and i wa like "yep... great." makes me wish even more it was 99 when i was as happy as they are and had a bf and everything was fine. tis orrible.... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

---

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Former Member

having a gf is really gr8 - sum 1 who u no loves u n is there for u wen u need her.

but ive gota admit there r many times in my life wer im single n glad 2 b as it allow u 2 hav much more freedom n not have 2 worry bout ur actions! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

---

its not illegal til u get caught :P

Former Member

I LOVE being single soooo much!! I wouldnt have it any other way.

I think its partly because i came out of a fairly long-term relationship a couple of months ago, but i love that i can go out when i want and do what i want without being accountable to someone else for my actions.

Its probably different if you have a great relationship and im not knocking relationships cause i know how nice they can be, but i dont think anyone should feel pressured to get a b/f or g/f.

Former Member

I don't know whether you want a g/f or not, when I was looking I mostly just wanted sex (well, hell, it's true). I don't think you should go out looking for a g/f, most of my past g/f's have come from the most unexpected places. (but not like under a rock or the depths of a mine shaft or anything, I think you know what I mean.....)

You're right though, so much of society is geared up towards people having heterosexual long-term relationships, or "romance" as it is termed. Over-rated crap in my opinion, just find someone you can connect with and then see what happens.....

---

Only users lose drugs

Former Member

if you can get action without commitment and pressure then i believe the answer is "no".

if you can't find the perfect girl anywhere then you'll have to show some commitment, love, trust etc which does come with pressure, worry, anxiety etc but if she's right for you it'll be less than with other girls. actually, if she's right for you then it should be MORE cuz you'll love her more...but then again it could be less cuz u know she loves u back as much as u love her...

and now ive confused myself!

---

ˆMấ§ŧế®° <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.contrabandent.com/pez/games/poke/005.gif"&gt; ¤ĐєvĩŁĩ§Ħ¤™

Former Member

Whoah! See, this is what I mean about being clueless. The problem is that I don't have any 'contact' with girls at all - I mean I've never really got off with anyone. I just don't see girls as entertainment ;-) My attitude really needs to change

Former Member

hey openup,

i know EXACTLY how your feeling, but ive just started to make a change for better, please email me if u want to talk more in private, i really think we can help each other out.

ccsc25294@blueyonder.co.uk

Former Member

I think that my feelings reguarding long term relationships change with my menstrual cycle. At certain times of the month I crave affection off the opposite of sex, at others I become an independant "anti-man" type person (not a lesbian).

Actually, at the moment I wanna concentrate on my career. I'm starting fresh in college and I can't be arsed with all that romantic stuff. If I were to be in a relationship then it'd be fun, not all serious and emotional.

---

So with one hand on the wheel
The other out the window
With a smile on my face
My middle finger up...

Former Member

Originally posted by openup:
It seems to be that modern society places a lot of pressure on teenagers to have relationships. Certainly at my school it seems nearly everyone is trying to get a girlfriend or boyfriend.

But when I think about it, getting a girlfriend doesn't seem to have much appeal to me. I'm not gay or anything, and I have had girlfriends before; I've just never gone out LOOKING for one. One the other side of the coin however, I do sometimes feel left out.

Part of the problem may be that I have little self confidence, but I'm not sure what to do.

dont beat yourself up, you and some nice girl will hook up, but cos you love her and she loves you not cos ye wanna get shagged <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Former Member

Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
i really want a boyfriend. and i know that this is the time im least likely to get one, for that exact reason! tonight i was surrounded by 2 couples, my other friends were in the oither "group" and werent really talking to us... and it got darker, and more and more romantic, sitting on rugs outside, candles in little paper holders that threw patterns everywhere, ones in water, ones on tables, 15 on gateposts at the other end of the big garden... and they got more and more involved with each other and i wa like "yep... great." makes me wish even more it was 99 when i was as happy as they are and had a bf and everything was fine. tis orrible.... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

poor GFM
I feel similarly sometimes
but its cos mah gf is so far away
trust her tho <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

I know it sounds quick and stupid, but try some crazy music <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

Girl-From-Mars

Originally posted by * Ireland *:

dont beat yourself up, you and some nice girl will hook up, but cos you love her and she loves you not cos ye wanna get shagged <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

that is really good advice. otherwise you're left feeling unsatisfied and wanting something more substantial. sex doesnt solve any problems at all, especially ones like loneliness or similar.

---

Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.

Former Member

I think you must want a girl friend really, everybody does. If you don't then you are missing out on a lot, like sex for instance. Its crap not having one I know. If you are still at school then you don't have far to go to look for one.

When I was at school I tried to get one but couldn't and still haven't despite trying like mad but then I am far from good looking!