Break up getting me down- help please!

Former Member

Hey, Ive already posted this in the uni & relationships slot, but anyway here I go again.

Basically, I was best friends with this guy for 2 years, and then we ended up getting together. It wasn't weird or anything, in fact we felt so perfect for each other it was great, and he was so much nicer than my ex boyfriend, I was amazed that guys could be so nice!

We just had our year anniversary on the 27th December, our parents met each other's parents etc, and he got me some really cute romantic stuff for Christmas. But on Thursday (15th Jan) he broke up with me. I spoke to him about it and he says he still really cares for me and loves me as a friend, but he's not in love with me anymore.

It's really hard hearing that, it hurts when the person you love doesn't feel the same, especially since I could have spent the rest of my life with him, cos we get on so well.

I'm still gonna be mates with him,but right now i don't know how I'm gonna get over my feelings. I'm going to uni next year, so I'm trying to look on the bright side, but right now it feels like I won't ever be able to find anyone who's as right for me as he was.

I hope this makes sense? If anyone would like to chat to me bout it, or give me some advice on getting over it, please do, cos I'm at a loss.

Thank you for reading (if you got this far).

Former Member

Yeah, that's the problem. I kinda know in my heart that time will help, and I do just wanna get over it and be the best of friends again. But I keep telling myself to do that, and my body just won't respond. I'm just in despair I guess and worried that I'll always secretly still fancy/love him when we're together as mates, which might make it awkward.

What a mess.

Former Member

it takes time to get over a serious relationship but you will get there, jus try and distance yourself from him for a little while, try not to see him as much and spend some time with your friends, have fun!

hope you feel better hun

Former Member

Hello i am in the same boat as you and its majorly sucks doesnt it. Ive kinda coped by keeping my distance and i know this sounds harsh but i tried my best to avoid her at all costs and not think about her at all. This helped me heal emotionally and it kinda worked until about a week ago she started texting me, ringng me, visiting me at work and coming to the pub.

Well it made me think she wanted something again so i let her know i still liked her whilst i was drunk then the next day i told her it was a stupid mistake for me to have said that and...well i havent heard from her since.

So in my scenario its just gonna be too hard to be friends, i couldnt cope if she met somone else. Maybe you should try and distance yourself for a while, i know its harsh but it may help up the recovery process and when u feel your over him then you can start chatting to him again.

good luck !

Former Member

Thanks very much everyone, it's nice to know that people care for a start!!

Yeah we have been distancing ourselves, mainly due to him. We've still been texting, and talkin like we used to when we were mates tho... but it's been ok. I go up and down, sometimes I'm fine, and cheered up, but then I go back down again..

I think the main problem is I'm just really bad at dealing with stuff. When he said 'we should have a break' i was like 'no, can't deal with that!!'

But i guess it probably is the best thing. Arg it's just so bad, all I wanna do is get over him and be mates again!!

Well I guess all I can do is hope. And see my mates.

But seriously, thank you