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oh god it hurts

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I split up with my boyfriend 2 months ago, but we've been basically secretly going out ever since - kissing, having sex, everything, but nobody else knew. Two weeks ago he mentioned seeing other people. He said he didn't want a girlfriend (part of the reason we split up). Since then he's been acting weirdly with me, wouldn't see me, barely talked to me on msn, today he told me he's 'making a go of it' with this girl and oh god it hurts so much :( knowing that he doesn't love me any more; he implied it last time i saw him but he must have seen my face fall or something because he then said he did still love me. today i mentioned that he doesn't and he didn't argue. I don't know how I'm gonna cope; he's like my best friend and if he keeps acting the way he has recently I can't take it, I've told him that and he said he was just preoccupied with this girl, the worst thing is he's so happy and I'm glad he's happy, but... it hurts that he's not happy with me :( I'm normally the one who can make him happier than anyone. He says he still cares about me, though not as much as he did, and obviously this other girl has to come first :(:(:(

Make the pain go away please :(

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    this is gonna sound really harsh, but i think the first mistake was sleeping with him when you weren't together because you could never know what his true feelings were or where you really stood.

    I can understand how you feel, cause i would feel the same if it my boyfriend and we were split up. even though it hurts, i think your just gonna have to move on. He's made it clear that he's met someone else now and as horrible as it may seem his love for has turned to friendship.

    I think you should accept this and it might not seem it at the minute, but you will meet someone else.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mia16
    this is gonna sound really harsh, but i think the first mistake was sleeping with him when you weren't together because you could never know what his true feelings were or where you really stood.

    No... I know he loved me; he said it once when he didn't mean it and I know he wouldn't do it again. But I could tell from the way he hugged me, looked at me, looked after me... he hugged me on Thursday when I bumped into him and he pracically held me at arm's length, it was horrible :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know exactly how you feel, ive been doing the same with my guy, i know were not going out, so i refure to him as my toy....odd i know.
    He's all trying to make go's of it with LOADS of other girls while with me...and it hurts but i still love him so i let him do it. i even had to pertend to be happy for him when he was talking about this girl he's sorta seeing when were in bed just after we had had sex and stuff. Its not a nice feeling i know.

    Just try and find another guy to take you mind off him, thats what im doing anyway. although it feels as if no one is good enough.

    Ok so i wasnt much help was i? sorry....
    Well get though it i know we will, just keep on trying to be stong and not thinking about said guys and we'll be fine...eventually.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm planning on going slutty and getting off with every guy I see in the hope it'll make me feel better :( Jesus, and this guy I've been talking to on the net, I can tell already he's gonna be a rebound :-/ Nasty, I'm scared of hurting him.

    I did wonder why you said 'toy'... thought it was just short for 'boytoy'. I've been referring to him as my best friend, my luva, my other half... very occasionally my boyfriend (though only to taxi drivers and the like).

    I've actually gone numb now cos my brain's blocked out images of him and the other girl, I dunno what she looks like thank god, but she's in fucking year 11 - year below him - 3 years below me. How shitty does that make me feel. He actually said he didn't fancy this girl when he first mentioned seeing other girls too; cos she'd tried it on with him and that's why he mentioned it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dominatrix

    I did wonder why you said 'toy'... thought it was just short for 'boytoy'. I've been referring to him as my best friend, my luva, my other half... very occasionally my boyfriend (though only to taxi drivers and the like).

    Well yea he is younger than me so that does make him a toyboy, but thats not what i mean. i mean that we have sex and stuff. making him my toy and me his.....but still its not nice when you think about it. but i guess when your caught up in it you dnt really.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I've loved him almost the whole time I've known him :-/ Got to know him on the net, first time I spent any time with him in real life I kissed him and since then - nearly a year ago - I've just kept on falling. I'd do anything for that boy :-/ And I can count the time on one hand that we've been together and not at least kissed; including 13 weeks we haven't been going out. I'm gonna have problems controlling myself... fortunately he has enough willpower for both of us. He said before that this was the last time he'd ask me to be with him... I guess I've just got to wait around for a few years til he decides he wants to marry me :P
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its a year next sunday for me and danny....and its been on and off since june, and offically off but with us still shagging for 5 months...its going to be very hard for me to get out of the habbit of loving him and wanting to be with him.
    I'll live, he's signing up for the army so i guess its a good thing him being away for long lengths of time. will give me time to get over him. although with him gone i'll lose some good mates.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    nothings gonna help the way shes feeling, spesh people going on at her that she shouldnt have done it in the first place

    it really hurts dosent it hunny? trut me you do get over it ive been there 2 times, badly had my heart broken, and the world seems to be crumbling away-but go out, enjoy yourself even if your dying on the inside, you'll show him what hes missing and in the mean time youll be having so much fun you wont be thinking aobut him

    get drunk, cry, listen to sad songs, beat things up

    it all works :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Char_Baby
    nothings gonna help the way shes feeling, spesh people going on at her that she shouldnt have done it in the first place

    it really hurts dosent it hunny? trut me you do get over it ive been there 2 times, badly had my heart broken, and the world seems to be crumbling away-but go out, enjoy yourself even if your dying on the inside, you'll show him what hes missing and in the mean time youll be having so much fun you wont be thinking aobut him

    get drunk, cry, listen to sad songs, beat things up

    it all works :)


    thank u :) ive been out and im drunk and ive been flirtinw tih one of my mates which i sooooooooo shouldnt have :-S but hell i havent thoought about him so :P first time anyone's broken my heart vcompletely.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Char_Baby

    get drunk, cry, listen to sad songs, beat things up

    it all works :)

    :yes:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    It's a chance for you to do what you wanna do right now!

    I've been there too & the best thing I can advise is go out and do everything you want to do to make yourself happy...

    Your ex will no doubt see you some time soon walking down the street and you'll be all like "Hi" and he'll be all like "Hi" and you'll be all like "I'm happy with my life & I'm awesome!" and he'll be like"Wow, now I remember why I love her!".

    And If not... at least you'll be all like "I'm happy with my life & I'm awesome!"

    Time's a healer and you sound like a dead nice girl - I'm sure you'll be sound as a pound soon!!!

    BIG HUG

    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    dont see him for a looooooooong time. get him out of your system.

    then if he texts/calls/bumps into you you'll be able to smile smugly, think to yourself that he's missin out on bein with you and now you can get on with ur own life ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm avoiding him right now, haven't been on MSN since Monday. We did say we'd meet up this weekend sometime but right now I don't feel I want to... The thing is he's meant to be one of my best mates, but it doesn't feel like it right now...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by dominatrix
    The thing is he's meant to be one of my best mates, but it doesn't feel like it right now...

    Then don't force it or he never will be. Just leave things to settle down a bit and give yourself time to heal. Then I'm sure you can go back to being best mates again but if you force it things just won't be the same. Things are too raw at the moment.
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