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Plz Help- This is making me crazy
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
OK I'm new to this site but Hi all!
I have alittle problem I need help with here goes
Ok I'm 19 and I have only had sex one time with a very special person. but after he and I broke up(we were together 4 yrs on-and-off)after we broke up I didn't go out or even talk to other guys for a while and ofcourse I got really lonely so about 5 months ago I started seening a guy but I ended up breaking up with him 2 months later (I didn't give him any reason, cause I didn't really have one it just felt right I don't know, I really hurt him)
(ok yea I know get to the point) OK well I have now met a new guy who just got out of a relationship were he got hurt. he wants a just sex relationship, no one gets attached no one gets hurt right?(I really like him, and i think I want this to)
ok finally here is the question has anyone been in a just sex relationship? how did it work out? do you regret it?
plz help this is really making me crazy I really want to do this but am sooo scared to get hurt. ty for reading
I have alittle problem I need help with here goes
Ok I'm 19 and I have only had sex one time with a very special person. but after he and I broke up(we were together 4 yrs on-and-off)after we broke up I didn't go out or even talk to other guys for a while and ofcourse I got really lonely so about 5 months ago I started seening a guy but I ended up breaking up with him 2 months later (I didn't give him any reason, cause I didn't really have one it just felt right I don't know, I really hurt him)
(ok yea I know get to the point) OK well I have now met a new guy who just got out of a relationship were he got hurt. he wants a just sex relationship, no one gets attached no one gets hurt right?(I really like him, and i think I want this to)
ok finally here is the question has anyone been in a just sex relationship? how did it work out? do you regret it?
plz help this is really making me crazy I really want to do this but am sooo scared to get hurt. ty for reading
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<IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> Luv 'n' peace <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Luk
~ If you can see the beauty of whatyou aspire to, it doesn't matter if you achieve it all. Simply to aspire is no mean achievement ~
I don't think there is anything wrong with it, but be very careful that he isn't just using you, i don't want to sound harsh, but before you decide to go along with this, think to yourself, will the sex part make you get too involved with this lad, that should it all go wrong you will get hurt again.
Again i don't want to put a downer on things, but you have only slept with one person, who obviously meant alot to you...are you really ready and/or experienced enough to have a purley sexual experience?
Good Luck hun and keep us informed...and welcome to the site XX
i could never have a just sex relationship, because what is sex when there are no feelings? isn't it feelings that make it good? and if there are feelings between you, then it would probably only end up in tears because usually one person just wants sex and the other person wants a relationship. do u know what i mean? if he's just come out of a relationship then he's probably lonely and wanting someone to fill the gap of his ex, which will probably leave you feeling cheap and used. So yeah in theory but no in practice is my opinion.
But its all about what u want, and if you have good self control! lol
Good luck! And welcome again <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes I think I know her
Sometimes I really wish I did
BUT
We're all human. And us girls are bound to attach the concept of love or at least more than just lust to any kind of sexual relationship. You may start out thinking "yeah, I don't like you, I just fancy your body" but eventually you'll hate what you are doing because you won't understand why he only sees you as a quickie. Basically you'll feel he's just treating you as a free hooker. That sounds really harsh and I'm sorry, but I'm trying to help.
Equally, it could work perfectly! You never know! Just be careful.
*~stellar~*
i think what everyone else has said is basically right. you might start off just having sex with a guy, but women see and experience sex not just as a physical act, but with emotional involvement too. which is why they always say sex is better if you're in love, its not just a physical connection but an emotional one too. IMHO you will either start caring for this guy and wishing there to be more, and feeling jealous and hurt that hes not with you, and/or feeling used and just like a sex toy. which isnt that nice a feeling im sure.
i mean, especially as you've only had one sexual encounter and to me it seems like you believe sex is special and to be shared with 2 people close to each other and not just for fun with someone you dont even know that well. but its all totally up to you, if you think you can fight off any emotional urges towards this man and keep it purely physical, and you want to just have sex with him and not wait for someone more special that you're in a relationship with, then it is completely your choice.
good luck and let us know how it goes. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"> oh and welcome to thesite <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif">
Burn baby burn!
erm well i suppose....yeah i have been in a "just sex" relationship. and sorry babe, but it was shite! i think this is cos i wasnt just in it for sex, clearly he was. ok i was 14 (yes i know v young but u may understand when uve read my post!) and i was infatuated with this lad (mark) i was obsessed.
i had fancied him 4 ages so when we started kissing and getting a bit randy, i was over the moon.
being 14 i was an innocent virgin, he was the forst person 2 finger me (shit looking back i could have been 13 OMG im v confused) anyway i THOUGHT i loved him and would have done anything 2 be with him.
hed ring me every hols (only) and wed meet up and when hed had his fun hed fuck off home again. anyway he asked me 2 shag him, i was terrified. after a while i did (3 times in all) i felt cheap, used dirty and downright crap.
then when i met some1 i really cared about (my current bf) i regreted it even more than b4.
of course this is only my personal opinion, like luka said i suppose it could work if u were both only in it for the sex. but one person always seems2 get 2 attached and gets hurt in the end.
its good this bloke has told u he is in it purly 4 sex but what bout when he has had enough "sex"??
its up 2 u but my advice is DONT GO THERE sorry hun but thats just my opinion.
let us know how u get on love n hugs jo-lizzie xxx
anyways, having a relationship based on sex isn't a very good idea in my opinion. it seems that he is on the rebound and using you because he doesnt feel as if he can get hurt if there are no strings attached,and it also seems like he is hoping this plan will help him get over his ex which aint very likely to happen. and wot happens if you fall for this guy and he suddenly decides he wants to end it and gets himself a new girl? it'll only end up with you getting hurt again and it'll make u feel cheap and may even put u off having a sexual relationship in the future. the whole thing doesnt seem worth it to me.
if you do decide to go ahead with this then just make sure u've thought of all the consequences beforehand and i wish you the best of luck
thank you all <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
update:
OK I think i was wrong calling it a just sex relationship, it's more like a friends with benifits thing. we have been friend for a while now and he knows about the thing with the long relationship.
ok with my ex boyfriend the one i was with like 5 months ago that i broke up with for no reason with him i felt like i was being used and thats the real reason i ended oit i was pretty sure he didn't really care about me like he said he did.
but ok here is the update:
i went to his house to watch a video after work i was so tired and didn't really feel like doing anything, when i got there i guess he noticed cause he told me to lay on the couch if i wanted well i was falling asleep tjhen he came to sit down next to me and asked me if i wanted to put my head on his lap ( i was alittle scared because i thought he was trying to get me to u know!)
well i did it anyway and he put his hand on my back and i feel asleep for a min. that was just the nices feel in the world right there i had forgotten how much i loved that feeling. well we did eventually make out and he did ask me to stay but i told him i had to leave (i really did have to). but i wanted to stay
but the next day i was so stressing about this it would be soo easy for me to tell him to leave me alone if he had tried tp pull of my pants as soomn as i got in the door but the truth is he didn't, and i think thats what scares me so much.
well i asked my best friend what should i do she says i should go for it "if you get hurt you get hurt but you can't just shut out everyone cause your scared, cause u know what going to happen your going to end up like your mother alone and unhappy" is what she said
what do u guys think?
wow i wrote alot sorry but thank for reading and for your help <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif">
Relationships aren't just about sex as some people instantly associate them with. Relationships are about spending time togther, going places, getting to know your partner .... oh, and arguing too!!
Sex is a part of the spending time together part, just as much as going out is, but obviously some people focus more on the sex aspect of it.
Do what you're comfortable with and not what anyone pressures you into thinking is right. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Only the good die young, All the evil seem to live forever.
rebelgrl sorry for confusing u guys I was saying that I was with my ex for 4 yrs. sorry i'm so confusing
i know whats it's like to be in a relationship where i'm being used. thats not how I feel when i'm with him, I feel really comfortable I guess cause we were friends for a while first i've been thinking about this for about a week and a half, I told him i was confused about us he told me "its up to you how far we go with this"
bottom line is it feels right (maybe cause its new) lol i'm so confused
I'm like a bird I'll only fly away. I don't know where my home is, I don't know where my soul is.
I'm in a just sex relationship at the moment, with an engaged guy, It's difficult to say the least, and it's not going to well at the moment, whatever happens, you develop feelings, and end up getting hurt!! Sorry to put a downer on it, but emotions are things that pop up out of the blue, and get you in all sorts of trouble!! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
I thoud I saw a puddycat, I did, I did see a puddycat!!
a stroke of luck or a gift from god?the hand of fate or devils claws?from below or saints above?
I'm going to tell him a just sex thing is not what I want. but then do I ask him to be friends again ?(we have fooled aroung already that would be kind wierd)( but he was a nice friend) or do I tell him I want to start a real relationship?(which I don't know if I can handle but want to try) or do I totally forget about him?(which would be hard cause I really llke him and I don't feel comfortable with that many people but I do with him)
lol Y are my problems always so complicated <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/rolleyes.gif">
I would definitely advise you not to break off the friendship because he seems to care about you and doesn't want to push anything, that's the right sort of friend to have IMHO.
In the end you have to do what feels right inside. I fool around and then ask to be friends all the time because I can't handle any more than that, and the guy involved has usually been fine with that. One wasn't, so I figured I was better off without him anyway. So just being friends can work out good.
But if you'd like to try a relationship, I'd say give it a go because you can always break it off. Try and talk to him about the way you're feeling before you start anything so that he knows how you're feeling. Communication is the key. Think about it, have fun, and good luck.