Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

University and r'ships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hey, duno if this has been mentioned before but i'll ask neway. Im going to uni in September and i am currently in a serious r'ship. I love my b/f loads and he is either joining the RAF or getting a job. I'll probably be able to see him at weekends and obviously in the holidays. The thing is tho can it work? i mean can you manage to have the same great r'ship you have now if u only see him once a week? I know it would be hard and he keeps saying comments like 'oh if you met someone at uni i'd understand'. this makes me feel wierd cos its like he's expecting me to not want him and to find someone else. The truth is i cant imagine wanting ne1 else! I keep telling him and he's like well if we split we gotta stay good mates etc I duno but i think hes scared that im gonna go and have a new life and that he will just be in my past?!

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    things will cahnge, distance always does that. if ur so madly deeply in love, then yeah it should work, but it will be a true test of ur relationship.

    good luck with it, don't freak out about it. chances are, it will work. I live in Switzerland, and I got mates who have gfs over here (still) but go to uni the UK, so they only get to see them during holidays, but they're still going strong.

    If it is gonna be a seriously long term thing, then three years probably wont make much of a difference.

    Hope this helps, n good luck again.

    Tt

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    as you're used to being together a lot of the time, then it will be different for you going to uni and only seeing each other at weekends, and yes i guess things may change. you'll have to get good at communicating, emails, phone calls, text messages all help. and its not as if you'll only see each other once every month or few months, as it is with me and my bf at the mo <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; admittedly we've never known anything different and we've always lived this far away...

    its back to the old Q about if long distance relationships work. theyre quite difficult, you just want the other person to be there all the time, and if you need to talk to them or just need a hug its a bit difficult to do over a few hundred miles. ithink it makes it easier if you know the distance is going to change and you'll be able to be together sometime in the future, like for me when i go to uni i'll be a lot closer and ill see my bf every week or two instead of every month or two! well hopefully after the first year he'll come and join me at uni if we're still together! *fingers crossed* <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    but high angel, if your relationship is that strong, you'll be able to survive it, if you both have the determination, trust and love to get through the time apart. good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    I'm 18 and 5 months. :D
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    theyre quite difficult, you just want the other person to be there all the time, and if you need to talk to them or just need a hug its a bit difficult to do over a few hundred miles.

    or a few thousand <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I see my boyf once a week, due to work mainly, although i havn't seen him in 6 weeks now. It is hard, but if you love eachother enough it can work.

    He must realise you won't be at Uni forever, and that it is important for you and your future. So i don't think it will be a problem. You have obviously talked about it with him.

    It will certainly put a strain on the relationship, but at the same time it may make you stronger...you know what they say!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah......abscence makes the heart grow fonder <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; Thanx for your words of wisdom every1. I have spoken 2 my b/f bout it and realise it will be hard. I suppose as much as u love someone, sometimes u do grow apart as each of you meet new people and have new lives. I hope that we have the kind of r'ship that if we do part then we can b friends. However, if we stay together i guess we just have to make the most of the time together and at least i can concentrate on work more if he isnt at uni.....although it could work the other way round n i dont do ne work cos im thinkin of him! Oh well im sure what is meant to be will be. I guess i believe in fate <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    small tip high angel...

    even though ur going to have a world of new experiences and less time to give him and even though he seems to know that, if you do want this to work, never let him forget that you love him. a regular 5 minute phone call, quick follow up on a email, all of that just lets him know that you're thinking about him, and that really does go a long way in keeping things strong.

    good luck with him and at uni. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by SusieLovesCalvin:
    or a few thousand <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

    i know it's not the same as in person, but

    *big hug*

    i'd type more kayleigh <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">, but people would get ticked <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When u do get to uni (god i'm gonna sound like your mother now) try to get on with your work and keep busy and try not to think about how much you miss him, and the time apart will fly by.

    My ex was in the Royal Marines, and i found the first week or so was really tough, but at that time i had college and friends to keep me occupied, try not to sit around pining for him lol!!! I'm sure everything will turn out fine, good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx again guys. Went out last nite and after the state my b/f was in i'm wondering why im so sad about the prospect of leaving him lol Nah i love him to bits. I guess as long as i make an effort on the r'ship and so does he, then neither of us can say we didnt try. Then if it dosent work at least i wont have ne regrets.

    We were talking about it yesterday and im glad we have decided to try and make the r'ship work when im away. I know of couples that have been together years and both decided to split once they go uni.
Sign In or Register to comment.