Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

How do you tell if someone's gay?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi everyone, I haven't made my own post before but I was just wondering about this...

There's a guy in the year above me at school who moved here 18 months ago. He's really popular because he's good looking, clever, and basically a really nice person. In the time I've known him he's never had a girlfriend - he did get off with a girl at a party but they were both drunk at the time.

It wouldn't bother me if he was gay but I was just wondering whether you think he might be, and if there's any way to tell if someone's gay unless they tell you.

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You cant be sure anyone is gay unless they tell you, or you see them getting off with another bloke, but then they could still be bi. I have a mate who is camp and everyone things hes gay but he aint so I dont think you can like just tell as such.

    "Is sex dirty? Only if its done right."
    - Woody Allen
  • Options
    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    just coz someone's never had a girlfriend while youve known them doesnt mean they're gay!! i mean he even snogged another girl. i didnt even do anything with a bloke till i was 14 and didnt have a bf till i was 16, maybe people were thinking i was a lesbian because of this?? i think its unfair and mad to assume someone's gay just coz they havent had a partner of theoposite sex... i mean they havent had a partner of the SAME sex either have they?

    i also know someone really camp who people think are gay... but hes not. you cant tell, theres no label on you or neon lights saying "IM GAY!!!".. you just have to wait to be told.

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Who knows. You can't tell. Make an approach on him, see how he responds, or just plain straigh out ask him.

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    all the best lookin blokes r gay! unfortunately.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by helly:
    all the best lookin blokes r gay! unfortunately.

    according to robbie williams newa lol...

    "all the best women are married/all the handsome men are gay"

    is prob tru, u know.

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
    i think its unfair and mad to assume someone's gay just coz they havent had a partner of theoposite sex...

    I'm not suggesting that he might be gay purely because of that, I'm the last person who'd do it since I've never had a boyfriend and I'm nearly 17. But some blokes are gay, there's nothing wrong with it, and often they're some of the nicest guys around....

    Originally posted by Turtle:
    Make an approach on him, see how he responds, or just plain straigh out ask him.

    You want me to go up to him and ask him if he's gay? Somehow I can't see that as being one of the best conversations of all time..... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif"&gt;
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey wildchild...

    what does it matter if he's everything u say he is?

    either way, he sounds like a great guy. y dwell on something that in the grand scheme of things means nothing?
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I agree with Calvin. What's it matter if he is gay? If he's a good person then that is all that matters.
    Also, if he did tell you he was gay, would you keep it to yourself? That sort of subject is sometimes very hard to keep to quiet ... I've seen a friend be betrayed when he told someone about his sexuality in confidence.
    Generally, it sounds like he'd make a great friend. Take that step first and everything else might fall into place.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Calvin:
    what does it matter if he's everything u say he is?

    Maybe if I knew he was gay I wouldn't fancy him so much <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

  • Options
    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    yeah i was thinking, eh?? at all the people saying why does it matter, it seemed to me like you were asking it coz you liked him wildchild.

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    *feels foolish* just cos ur a girl emma, and can pick up these tiny little signs that girls leave around the place.

    jeash!

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Options
    Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    lol turtle, they're left there for a reason but it seems only other people without a penis can find them <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt; <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You just can't assume that because he hasn't had a g/f in 18 months he must be gay. Ive been at my new college for 7 months now and ive not had a b/f since ive been there but it's cool coz nobody cares less.
    My problem is that i have low self esteme at the min and even if i see someone i like i won't do anything bout it in case f rejection or something along those line... eh up...new topic alert i think.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wildchild:
    Maybe if I knew he was gay I wouldn't fancy him so much <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;


    sowwy. i was gonna ask if u did fancy him, but i didn't want to make that presumption.

    there are a couple of ways to find out then, but both are risky.

    1. ask a mate if he is. problem is that the mate may take offense at the question.

    2. make friends with him and find out for yourself. this will take sometime. and if it turns out he is gay.. then u might get hurt. he may also not fancy you.

    but then again, u might be just what he's looking for. and you can't find love unless u look for it. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    and even if he is gay, he sounds like a good guy to be mates with.

    good luck with and i hope it works out.

    and apologies again.


  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    One way I suppose would be to get to know him better, there is no definate way where you could pin point something like that but a few signs which often (not always the case tho, but the people I know are similar) could be:

    1) Dress sense, gay guys have good dress sense, often wearing arm-less tops, combats, you know the type of thing.. sometimes those pants which finish just below the knee... silver jewelery.

    2) They sometimes speak in a camp voice, slightly softer

    3) Pout their chests foward and sometimes with their arms dragging behind their back

    4) Lots of hand movements for describing things

    None of the above mean the person is gay but can be a way of getting a better judgement... why not just get to know him better, then it kills two birds with one stone if you like him and he turns out to be bi or straight your luck might be in with a chance... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Justin Credible:
    1) Dress sense, gay guys have good dress sense, often wearing arm-less tops, combats, you know the type of thing.. sometimes those pants which finish just below the knee... silver jewelery.

    2) They sometimes speak in a camp voice, slightly softer

    3) Pout their chests foward and sometimes with their arms dragging behind their back

    4) Lots of hand movements for describing things

    Without it being a sweeping generalisation of gay traits, Justin is quite accurate. Any self-respecting gay man will dress impeccably, trendily or stylishly; personal hygiene is all important and they are perfectly groomed; they very often are very sensitive and considerate which is why women love a gay man as a friend - a man that understands women!!! He probably won't be mad about sport but he may be into entertainment, movies, etc ... the list could get rather long but if you've ever had a gay friend before, you'll soon pick up the similarities. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thanx everyone, and Calvin, don't worry I wasn't upset by what you wrote! But thanx for apologising anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by wildchild:
    Thanx everyone, and Calvin, don't worry I wasn't upset by what you wrote! But thanx for apologising anyway <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    good. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; last thing i wanted to do was upset you wildchild...

Sign In or Register to comment.