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Short Term Relationships

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I want someone, to have and to hold etc, but only for a short term rerlationship, just someone to satisfy my need for love (not sex) for say about a year? is that even classed as a short term relationship?

but i know it wont last longer than a year, i get easily bored with people :/ and im too young to be in a full time relationship, is it wrong to want something short term? what if she gets too attatched and cant let me go and i end up hurting yet another person who doesnt deserve it? is it really love if it doesnt last forever?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I personally wouldn't pre-plan how long you want a relationship to last.

    Find a girl you like, become friends etc. Then ask her out and become a couple then just take each day as it comes.

    Also if you're honest with her then she can't really get hurt can she!?!
    is it really love if it doesnt last forever?
    Yes, it can be love even if it doesn't last forever
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i guess your right, but i have been honest in all my relationships, and when ive had enough (remember we arent talking about sex here) they still seem heartbroken, but i cant be with someone i dont love anymore can i?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I don't know your age but I'm thinking you're under 23? (sorry if i'm wrong)

    but I believe you can still be with someone if you do not love them (more so if you are only looking for a short term relationship like you say)

    Why do you have such a need for love anyway at this age?

    If you are unhappy then that's a whole different story and you shouldn't be together!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    probably the fact that ive loved and lost, i yurn for the feeling again? someone to hold and not just want sex? and yes im 18, and i just dont like the idea of going out and having 'fun' with any random girl, or even a friend, i guess im just not that type of guy :\
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trying to replace the feelings you've lost right away with a new gf isn't such a good idea!

    I believe when we break up after relationships we can go through a mourning stage and going out finding a rebound gf will only temporary satisfy that "yearning" feeling you have, it wont last though.

    What's so wrong with going out and having fun now? Why focus so much on love? At 18 you do not really need love in your life that much (apart from family & friendship love). Too much of it will leave you bitter because most relationship simply do not last!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    i guess your right, but i have been honest in all my relationships, and when ive had enough (remember we arent talking about sex here) they still seem heartbroken, but i cant be with someone i dont love anymore can i?

    I cant understand your selfishness, ok you are being honest but are you actually thinking her that afetr a year a girl is going to be so happy with you, and love you to bits, and you are going to break her heart, if you dont want to stay in a relationship (you clearly are not mature enough for one!) then do NOT enter one!

    :mad:

    I am sure thats what my boyfriends have done in the past IT RUINS PEOPLES LIVES! do not start playing with love and people emotions they DO NOT deserve that! GROW UP!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Your opinion is appreciated Devil but your harshness is not, i wanted posotive advice, not bitching. its the way i am, and most other men are the same, besides, just because you got chucked dont drop your bitterness on me.

    on a nicer note, i havent just come out of that relationship, i have been single for over a year...and depending on what you mean by fun...i already said i dont like going out and sleeping with someone random from a club.....and on the other side, why wouldnt i be able to have fun when i have a lady friend?

    i know im too young for a relationship, which is why i dont want it to last so long...so i can meet new people, and not be tied down...but if i do meet someone i like, i want to be with that person for a while..

    tis weird
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i already said i dont like going out and sleeping with someone random from a club
    Then don't.

    You've previously stated that you want a short-term relationship not for sex. But it could be a place (not the most ideal obviously) to meet new people. So this shouldn't be a problem then should it? :confused:

    But I agree with *DEVIL*, even if you are honest, you can't expect a lass to be with you for a year (or however long it takes for you to get bored) and not have strong feelings for you - don't mess them about! Its not a nice! Like you said in your first post, it could cause unnecessary hurt, and they dont deserve it!

    And im not sure if theres much point in this post afterall, it did seem meaningful when I started.

    Oh yes, and like Harmless said - don't try to plan things so much, just take things a day at a time. Then see how long the relationship lasts when left to run its natural course.

    :confused: Im confused, I hope it made some vague sense to you!:)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    Your opinion is appreciated Devil but your harshness is not, i wanted posotive advice, not bitching. its the way i am, and most other men are the same, besides, just because you got chucked dont drop your bitterness on me.

    on a nicer note, i havent just come out of that relationship, i have been single for over a year...and depending on what you mean by fun...i already said i dont like going out and sleeping with someone random from a club.....and on the other side, why wouldnt i be able to have fun when i have a lady friend?

    i know im too young for a relationship, which is why i dont want it to last so long...so i can meet new people, and not be tied down...but if i do meet someone i like, i want to be with that person for a while..

    tis weird

    i am not dropping any bitterness on you i am saying that, it is wrong to USE a person for your personal gains and then drop them when you are bored, basically you are using them for as long as you ned them then getting rid, well that is not fair and if it was done to you and all of a sudden you were told "i am not interested in you anymore the love has gone i am bored!" you would hate it, and wonder why when things started to go wrong you didnt talk, basically any relationship you have is doomed from the beginning, if my boyfriend of the moment was doing the same to me now it would BREAK MY HEART!

    please thnk before you hurt anyone, it is NOT FAIR!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Devil you blatently are on a different wave length and didnt understand a word i said. im not planning how long a wish to stay with her. im mereley pointing out that that is probably how long it would last.

    and anyway, as i said before, i didnt post here to recieve 'nasty' messages from the likes of an unintelligent inbred annoying unwanted fucktard.

    Do me a favour, dont post on any more of my threads.

    kthx.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    Devil you blatently are on a different wave length and didnt understand a word i said. im not planning how long a wish to stay with her. im mereley pointing out that that is probably how long it would last.

    and anyway, as i said before, i didnt post here to recieve 'nasty' messages from the likes of an unintelligent inbred annoying unwanted fucktard.

    Do me a favour, dont post on any more of my threads.

    kthx.

    Ok, by saying its probably only going to last a year, you are establishing what is known as a self-fulfiling prophecy-you say that it will probably only last a year, therefore subconciously the decision is set-after a year you will most probably find some reason or other to end it because that is what you have decided well in advance.

    I don't know how your perceiving *Devil*'s messages to be nasty.

    Oh, and I would advise that you don't insult other posters with childish remarks. If you want people to reply to your threads in the future, then thats not the way forward.

    Oh, and do us a favour...

    kthx, Whats that supposed to mean? Type properly.

    Edited because I missed an important word out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    We don't tolerate users being insulting on these boards ... pl;ay by the rules please, i.e. nicely...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by MoonShiner
    kthx, Whats that supposed to mean? Type properly.

    kthx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Excuse me but this is an argument between two people, aka me and Devil. if you dont like it, dont read it.

    Secondly, MoonShine your either rather dense or your sarcasme sucks. Work on it.

    Thirdly, to revert back to a childish saying.... I Didnt Start It

    if you dont want me to be insulting, dont insult me.

    Subject Closed.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Chav
    kthx
    Who the fuck is Kay?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    shorthand for Okay...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    shorthand for Okay...
    your kidding?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i refuse to carry on this discussion -_-''''
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    Excuse me but this is an argument between two people, aka me and Devil. if you dont like it, dont read it.

    Thing between two people usually go in private messages. And I wont know that I don't like your post or thread until after I have read it, will I?
    Secondly, MoonShine your either rather dense or your sarcasme sucks. Work on it.

    Ok, my firstly name's MoonShiner. And secondly, I dont see any part of my post where I was being dense. Or sarcastic. Oh, and it's spelt sarcasm, not sarcasme.
    Thirdly, to revert back to a childish saying.... I Didnt Start It

    If I remeber rightly it was your thread.
    if you dont want me to be insulting, dont insult me.

    Subject Closed.

    Who insulted you?
    shorthand for Okay...

    Im sure that kay is not shorthand for okay. But if I'm wrong, then somebody please tell me otherwise.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    You are wrong for a start, take it from someone who spends too much time on irc, secondly im mildly dyslexic and you correcting my spelling isnt very nice.

    and i seriously cba arguing anymore, so here comes a classic boys and girls

    w/e
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I cant understand your selfishness, ok you are being honest but are you actually thinking her that afetr a year a girl is going to be so happy with you, and love you to bits, and you are going to break her heart, if you dont want to stay in a relationship (you clearly are not mature enough for one!) then do NOT enter one!
    I agree with this, but i don't think its selfishness, i just its the feeling of wanting something to be there for ya, Like an extremely good friend / Relationship basis
    But i'd say that not alot of people around your age would be willing for that...

    I also see that your coming here for advice, not to be commented on or dissed
    So leave it out and just give him help
    Personally, i'd ask a good friend u already have cos any advice they give you will be better as we do not know you as a person
    Jez
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey thanks :) your totally right, i just dont know how to explain it :(

    and sorreh to anyone ive offended :S things just a bit shite atm...im edgy...

    i guessthats a good explanation, i want someone to be with me but not to love me?

    fack it i dont care anymore tbh, not like i could get a girl no matter what the circumstances

    thanks again jez :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    i didnt post here to recieve 'nasty' messages from the likes of an unintelligent inbred annoying unwanted fucktard.

    Do me a favour, dont post on any more of my threads.

    kthx.

    OK lets get this straight you are obviously, from your reply not mature enough to be out of nappies, let alone in a relationship.

    Resorting to silly name calling that is totally uncalled for unintelligent - really explain my qualifications, and fact i am teacher training obviously i am thick....oh and inbred you know my fanmily history dop you well you must be clever. They do say though that children have an active imagination :rolleyes:

    Now who is being nasty?

    If is an argument between me and you why ask me not to reply? Please grow up!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    you insulted me, things havent being going too well recently....i vented my anger, i apologised, and am doing so again.

    and theres nothing wrong with being your age and acting your shoe size. you dont see children with the worries of life? try it sometime, it keeps you smiling. and when i had a go at you, i wasnt being childish, as i said, i was venting my anger.

    Anyway, could a mod close this thread please.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Bennie
    You are wrong for a start, take it from someone who spends too much time on irc, secondly im mildly dyslexic and you correcting my spelling isnt very nice.

    and i seriously cba arguing anymore, so here comes a classic boys and girls

    w/e

    Ok, just because you spend too muh time on IRC does not make you an expert in shorthand :rolleyes:

    The Oxford Paperback Dictionary:

    shorthand n. a method of writing very rapidly, using quickly made symbols

    Therefore I would conclude that "kay" is NOT shorthand. :rolleyes:

    And why would I know your dyslexic? I only corrected your spelling as you called me dense, I was proving a point.

    And I originally posted to give help/advice as that is what you asked for. If your going to insult people or what people have posted then you should expect to get what you give in my opinion.

    And to win an argument, it isn't a good idea to end it with w/e. At least bother to type "whatever" out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh, you're shit at arguing and provide us with no entertainment, dont make it out like anything is more important than our entertainment like 'values' or 'principle' because im not buying it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    mmk

    Okay then, lets bring this back up

    Originally posted by MoonShiner
    Ok, my firstly name's MoonShiner. And secondly, I dont see any part of my post where I was being dense. Or sarcastic. Oh, and it's spelt sarcasm, not sarcasme.

    I was referring to this - kthx, Whats that supposed to mean? Type properly.

    This is either sarcastic or dense in my eyes.

    If I remeber rightly it was your thread.

    Really? i never gatherd that? I meant I didnt start the argument.

    Who insulted you?

    Devil insulted me, by calling me immature and childish, telling me to grow up, etc. You may not find that insulting, not everyone would, but some people do. I cannot accept the fact that i am a child therefore i find it insulting to be called one, where as you Both cannot accept the fact that you are wrong, simply because you both missunderstood my thread

    And I originally posted to give help/advice as that is what you asked for. If your going to insult people or what people have posted then you should expect to get what you give in my opinion.


    you should expect to get what you give in my opinion

    Indeed. Devil got what she gave, granted i went a little overboard but i did find her thread extremley insulting to say i originally came for help, and if you have already forgotten why i was insulted by her post, read up, im saying this because i know you have a tendancy to either forget or just plain and simply not understand.

    Did you get what you gave? I think so.

    You. Oh, and do us a favour...

    kthx, Whats that supposed to mean? Type properly.


    And myself. Secondly, MoonShine your either rather dense or your sarcasme sucks. Work on it.

    Two rather sarcastic comments of equal proportion.

    The Oxford Paperback Dictionary:

    shorthand n. a method of writing very rapidly, using quickly made symbols

    Therefore I would conclude that "kay" is NOT shorthand.


    You are right in a sense, as people do not use Kay as shorthand anymore, but still, Kay is a shorter word than Okay is it not? the shorthand nowadays is 'k' which might i add is initially what i posted 'kthx' i was simply explaining a translation from the website which uses the word kay to explain it due to the fact that okay-thanks doesnt really sound like kthx does it? but guess what, Kay-(also shorthand but rarley used)Thanks does. Once again, you are prooved wrong. When will you just accept it and stop the bitching?

    And to win an argument, it isn't a good idea to end it with w/e. At least bother to type "whatever" out.

    Who was trying to win the argument? i was simply trying to stop it. Now take note, because as we have pointed out, you do miss little things, i said WAS.

    which brings me onto Devil.

    If is an argument between me and you why ask me not to reply?

    Because it was yet another attempt at ending the argument, but no the bitching carried on, i tell you to stop and you dont, i ask you to stop and you dont, i ask a mod to close the subject and it isnt, i apologised twice in an attempt to shut you up but NO, your constant CHILDISH bitching still to this moment carries on, how about you take this chance to be the grown up one, and post no more replies?

    explain my qualifications, and fact i am teacher training

    as you say you get what you give, so for your last abusive thread i say this, god help the children you teach, because you just had someone who is dyslexic tell you your punctuation and grammer is SHIT.

    and finally Chav, perhaps this proves im not so shit at arguing after all? perhaps it outlines the fact that i didnt see the need to explain to childish misguided people? and lol to the rest of your comment :p

    Get off my back, be happy, and go live, i have no further grudge with either of you.

    Ben.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Short Term Relationships
    Originally posted by Bennie

    what if she gets too attatched and cant let me go and i end up hurting yet another person who doesnt deserve it?

    Sorry to stick my oar in but... the above was one of the questions in your very first post. As far as I can tell, Devil was answering it with her opinion. What you are saying does sound quite heartless even if you don't mean it like that, as I'm sure you do. People are just reacting to that. You actually said pretty much the same thing in your original post ie that you'll hurt someone who doesn't deserve it.

    You can't ask people not to post in anymore of 'your threads'. The boards are for everyone who wants to see them and contribute to them. If you post something here you're making it open to opinions and you have to accept that.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Granted lisa, and i understand why people would find it heartless, even if it wasnt intended to sound like that, i have trouble explaining things but in effect i think i want someone who wont get too attatched, so i dont hurt them when it comes to an end, no matter how long it is till that point, i only gave a time as an estimate, i dont intend to break up with someone after a certain amount of time, i just think thats how long it would last..

    An old saying for you, Theres no harm in asking :p and i quote myself. Your opinion is appreciated Devil but your harshness is not
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