Termination

Former Member

I went through with a termination yesterday and i know that the upset is still quite raw, but i was wondering if anyone who has been in the same position took long to get over it?or did u feel annything afterwards? Yesterday i was full of relief, and today im full of regret.I desperately need to speak to someone who has been in this position please.x

Former Member

plenty of people on these boards have had terminations, including myself.

almost everyone i know of has wondered "what if" at some point or another. it's perfectly natural to be upset, especially if it was a difficult decision to make in the first place (which it almost always is).

it's small consolation at the moment, but you will feel better with a bit of time.

Former Member

it is really early days still and your hormones will be all over the place, that will cause you upset at least. I hope you feel better soon. The `what ifs` will always be there, but if you know you did the right thing for you at the time, then just cling on to that and once the hormones settle you should feel a bit better.
(((hugs)))

Former Member

The day I had mine, I got home rested for a bit, then got changed and went out and spent the whole night partying. Sitting at home and wollowing in my own self pity would have been the end of me, I cant cope with doing nothing I need things to take my mind of it. I carried on doing this for a couple of weeks until it was out of my system, ya know just generally surrounding myself with friends and being the life and soul of the group. I dont think I was bottling it up, its just my way of ciping. Ive had a few goods cries about it (3 yrs ago now) and ive forgiven myself as I knew it was the best thing to do.
Everyone is different and however or whatever you do, as long as you are actually coping with it then there is nothing to worry about. There are always the pangs I get when I think about it but they fade in time. I rarely think about it now and ive moved on from it.
Good luck for the future

Former Member

I had one about 3 years ago and haven't felt one moment of regret at all. Didn't even cry. It just wasn't the right time at all.

Maybe it will hit me in years to come, but I doubt it.

Former Member

I think it effects people differently...when i had mine my upset came from feeling like everythig was out of my control not really to do with the operation or any feelings for the feotus.

It took me no time to get over the op but I hadn't realised how depressed my situation made me so though I felt elated that the problem had gone I was quite depressed for a while after because of the whole situation!

Former Member

well im not going to tell you that its all going to be ok, because it doesnt always work out that way.

I had an abortion this year and I will never regret anything more than i regret doing that. We planned the pregnancy and wanted that baby more than anything in the world. And I hate myself for what i've done, and feel very shameful for allowing myself to be manipulated into it at such a vulnerable time. I will never forget, as I dont believe many women will, and I think about the baby every day.

some women get 'replacement baby syndrome', where they think that if they get pregnant again it will work out the second time, and make everything better. one of my best friends had this. I also went through this, but mainly because our baby was a planned pregnancy, it wasnt a mistake, it was something we had thought about and wanted for a long time, and so after my abortion i still wanted it, just because the baby was gone didnt mean my feelings for having another child would go away. Which is something I should have reminded myself of before i let myself give into someone else's wishes.

me and my partner still want another baby, and I have no doubt that it will happen soon. maybe even sooner than we think.

I believe that as long as you made the decision, and for the right reasons, and as long as you remind yourself that it was the right thing for you to do at the time, you have a good chance of being able to accept and move on, and look at it as a positive thing for not only you, but the embryo aswell.

Former Member

Oh - andthe night of the day I had it I was playing football in the park!

the most important thing is that you made the decision yourself and wasn't under any pressure.

Former Member

Thanks alot for the replies, they are really much appreciated! I feel a lot better today. I couldnt give it the life it deserves at the moment so I do feel i made the right decision, i just got thinking yesterday that i will never have 'that' child and it really upset me.
I know like they say, time is a healer and im just waiting till whenever that may be.
Thanks again x

Former Member

Hope you feel ok soon **cinderella** x

Former Member

It seems like you're dealing with it well, and you've been given plenty of good advice, but if things start to get on top of you or you want someone to talk to think about giving someone at Brook Advisory a call on 0800 0185023.

Take a read of this article from the site as well that contains some good advice....

dealing with abortion

Best of luck with it all.

Love Lu x