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controling my feelings

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi folks!

Right I got a major problem and I really need to sort this one out.

I’ve known one of my best mate’s girlfriends now for about 6 months and became really good friends with her. I met her when my workplace got shut down for a few weeks and I was moved to near his workplace and met her on my break. He’s been with her for about 18 months and he never told me at all or bothered introducing her to me or even any of our other mates. ( theyre at different schools. Me and him are in last year at 6th form and she’s 1st year or 6th form).

When I got talking to her it was a little strange how well we got on and I think he wasn’t pleased with this. Mainly because later on his gf had said I was good looking and somehow he translated that into his head that she fancied me when she didn’t. I told him that I would never try anything stupid and that he should know that. He said he wasn’t worried and he knew I wouldn’t.

I also work with a few people who go to the same school as this girl and when a few months passed, one of them mentioned that this girl fancied me and was talking about me all the time to her friends at school. That got me a little worried, my mates’ gf fancying me.

Last week, my mate had an 18th which me and his gf had organised for him. Everything went down well. Only slight problem was that the gf was trying to set me up with her mate which I knew me and her were not interested in each other that way ( although I chat to this other girl on MSN now). For most of the night, me and the gf were chatting away like we do on the MSN or on the phone and actually hugging each other quite a lot.

Now there’s a big problem, my pal at work said that he thinks that the gf still fancies me and I don’t know whether this is just natural but due to me hearing her saying things all the time ( nothing bad) and her actually telling me how lovely she thinks I am, I’m starting to feel the same way about her after saying to myself time and time again that I would never feel like that.

Now first of all I’m not asking for advice on whether to leave it or risk, I already know what to do, it’s just, how can I get it out of my head? I can’t just stop talking to her because she would think she’s upset me and it sounds daft seeing as we’ve only known each other 6 months but we have such a laugh and have quite a lot in common, we probably luv each other matewise.

This guy is one of the smartest guys I have met. Even tho we went to the same school and he stayed on at 6th form but I changed colleges, I’ve only known him personally for about the same time as her, 18 months. He is now looking at Cambridge uni and has got an offer from Warwick uni. Naturally she doesn’t like the idea of this, him going 200 miles away from her while she has another year to go thru. She’s asked me whether he will get fed up of her. I said I really didn’t know because uni Is a huge step. She said she didn’t want to lose him or me. Something I have noticed though is that he’s not a huge sociable guy who will talk to absolutely anybody and not care about what is said, she however is. One of my mates said after meeting them both that he didn’t think they were a good match, I mentioned that wot my mate said to my mate at work and he said the same thing. He kinda doesn’t want her to go out of his sight from time to time and considers her talking to other lads and having a laff such as with me as flirting when it is anything but. I got a feeling that when he's not there and it's just me and her chatting we are thinking the same thing, "shit! if only we were both single". i may be wrong but thats the impression i'm getting

So guys, please help me out with this. These feelings have not been going on for a long time. I think it was after the 18th party and I’ve just come back from Manchester watching Iron Maiden which we were all at and after having another laff and us hugging again, it’s starting to get worse. I know the saying you can’t control what your heart feels but I am going to have to and definitely not do what is in my heart because if that was the case I would probably tell her straight which is definitely not the right move.
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