This is on behalf of a friend who needs help.

Former Member

Today me and my mate where going to go out, when her accelerator cable snapped on her car.

So here we are now staying in posting this topic.

My Mate text her boyf to say what had happened, he said "oh didn't u get that fixed once before" and that was that. He didn't ask if she was stranded in the middle of no where, of if she was ok, nothing.

This is like the icing on the cake, he always seems to put the pub/football before anything. Yet he insists he loves her, but has a funny way of showing it sometimes. What shoudl she do....Her names Charlotte by the way and she says hi.

Former Member

My ex used 2 be exactly the same he used 2 put the footie & the skate park b4 me ALL the time, i told him how i felt & he said he would make more time 4 me but he never did & in the end i went from seeing him about 3 times a week 2 about once a fortnite & he only lives a 10/15 min walk from me! This woz part of the reason why i finished wit him. I think ur mate should tell her bf how she feels & if he don't change then i think she needs 2 work out if she really wants 2 stay wit sum1 who treats her like this. How long has she been wit him & how long has he been like this? And how old r they both?

Former Member

She is 20 and he's 21, its exactly the same situ as yours, he lives a 5 min walk from her and they see eachother twice a week usually in the pub, which i may add is where she meets him, he don't pick her up and in the 9 months they've been together i don't think i have ever seen them go to the club/pub together as a couple they only ever meet there. But when they are together they seem alright.

Former Member

Ok, here;s something. All you girls (or most) would agree when I said that friends should come before partners, since friends are going to hang around for longer generally and all.

Yet you insist you need attention 24/7 when u've got a guy.

---

And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.

Former Member

No it don't work like that, friends are important. BUT and a big BUT, whats the point of having a relationship when you don't see him hardly ever. U can't have a relationship based on text messages!!

It would just be nice to see that your guy is bothered about you now and then. Like tonite, he knew where we were going and it involves driving down a county lane with no lights, he never bothered asking if we or she was stranded in the middle of no where in the snow. As it happens it happened outside my house!! BUT he still doesn't know this as he never asked. But she doesn't want to see him 24/7.

Former Member

No turtle, i woz extremly happy seeing my ex 2/3 times a week which isn't 24/7 but once a fortnite when he lives a 10 min walk away! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;
And mandi i think u should get ur mate 2 talk 2 her bf & tell him how she feels!

Former Member

Ok, from a male perspective.....

Its hard to explain, but sometimes males are a bit dozy like that. He probably was worried about you, and he did wanna know what was goin on, but he just didnt communicate that to you....

I'm not like that because I would always put my girl first before anything else, except exams or somethin. And I dont mind cryin infort of a girl or whatever. Thats maybe why I get a lot of stick for bein a "ponce" or a "soft lad". Maybe this guy didnt want to act concerned, maybe an ego thing ??

OR...

I think this guy might be taking her for granted a bit. Maybe she should tell him what she feels, and take it from there, or maybe issue the ultimatum.

Former Member

confused male - god u r sooooooo not a "soft lad or a ponce", i wish my bloke could show his emotions and stuff. i mean i dont know 1 girl who would think that her bf was soft just becos he cries, i mean lads do have feelings 2 they just dont know how 2 show them. most lads that is.

i love it when lads go all soppy on u! it just shows they have feelings and stuff. i agree wit every1 here, i think charlotte should just tell her bf that it upsets her that he puts footie and stuff b4 her.

thank fully jamie dont put things b4 me, but sometimes it would be nice if hejust opened up 2 me a bit more and payed a little more attention 2 me!

Former Member

Charlotte has tried to speak to him. He just says well u shoud tell me when u want to spend time with me. Like why should she ask, is it a one way thing, does he not have a mind, can he not suggest that they spend some time together.

Then when she does say do u wanna go cinema or something he's like....oh i'll see what my mate is doing first then let u know. So then she says don't bother.

He has spoken to other friends of ours who have said he'll lose her if he doesn't change, then he'll be ok for a while then go back to his usual self again.

He also has a Girl friend (not relationship just mates) who fancies him like mad, and who hates charlotte. He doesn't tell her when he's seeing her, she finds out from someone else. She tells him she don't like it, or at least to tell her before hand what he's doing or it seems he has something to hide, but he still does nowt about it.

Deep down i think she should call it a day, as her ex didn't want to see her much either, but that went on for 4 years and i don't want to see her get hurt again. I just havn't got the heart to tell her.

Former Member

t sounds like a dead end relationship to me. If he wanted to be with her, then he would. If she has to make the move every single time, she's just a convenience to him & is being used.

Trouble is, she probably wont thank you for telling her <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

j9

Former Member

I feel exactly the same j9, she's a really nice girl and has been hurt too many times in this way by two blokes, she's started to wonder if its her, i just say it aint u, u r just unlucky. She can do so much beter for herself. DOn't get me worng i think her boyf is a good lad, but he has a lot of growing up to do, and must realise that she is not just one of his mates, he is ment to be having a relationship with her.

I know he likes her alot (don't want to use the word love) but just has a funny way of showing it. I want to tell her straight that he's not worth it, but i know she'll hate me (for a little while at least, until she comes back saying u were right!)