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Are all blokes (and women) the same?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
You know when your bored and you think about your ex's and stuff and all the bad stuff, well i did just that. Just before we split, he hit onto my best mate. I admit things where not going well, and he knew it was only a metter of time before i left, but my best mate for gods sake. I didn't think he would stoop that low. Anyway. I went out last nite and saw someone getting off with a girl, who i know is in a relationship. Not a close friend of mine so i won't tell, i don't want to get involved. Then as u all know by now i'm having doubts with my current boyf and his ex, all i have is his word, but when he's away he could tell me anything! And when i look around me and see what guys/gals who i know, are or have been up to, i started to wonder are they all the same.

This also goes for women too. My mate is always going on that her bloke always has lasses around him, and he sees Girl-Friends just for a social drink or whatever and she gets really upset. Then last night, she was big time flirting, in a way that if the tables where turned she would go balistic, and although i know it didn;t mean anything, she ended up getting off with this bloke.

Can we trust anyone?

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by mandi7810:
    Can we trust anyone?

    Trust no-one and you won't get hurt is my motto.

    Not exactly a good way to live your life though.


    There's a girl in my mirror
    I wonder who she is
    Sometimes I think I know her
    Sometimes I really wish I did
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Drifter:
    Not exactly a good way to live your life

    But a safe way.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I aggree, u can only trust urself
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I disagree with u all, I've been in plenty of relationships where no-ones been with n e 1 else, i mean what sort of relationships and friendships are built on misstrust carry on the way u r and ur going 2 end up with no1.
    Sorry 2 sound so mean but it is my opinion
    luv me
    xxxx
    xxxx
    xxxx
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Babybird:
    carry on the way u r and ur going 2 end up with no1.

    Gee thanks. That's really made my day. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I trust people, but I'm careful who I trust. And it doesn't take a lot for me to lose that trust in them.

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    But what happens when you realise u can't trust them, can u trust anyone again?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by mandi7810:
    But what happens when you realise u can't trust them, can u trust anyone again?

    Yep. I can trust the same person again, if they prove themselves to me. I KNOW that people (espeically around our age) change quickly and often. If they break ur trust, it can often just be a lapse in concentration, something innocent etc.

    And all the grown-ups say is sorry, cos we got no reply.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    in some ways i agree with drifter, if u dont trust ne1 then u cant get hurt. but then again relationships are supposed 2 be built on trust, from what jamie has told me i have no reason not to trust him, but i still cant. i have tried so hard but it dont work i just cant.

    it really gets me down.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt; sorry im just moping now........
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    U mope as much as u like jo, i know what its like, u have no choice but to beleive what they say, but u can't help think the worse all the time especially when theres distance between u. But look on the bright side, don't it feel good when u have been proved wrong, and all that worrying has been for nothing.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru

    I guess I'd be pretty offended if some1 told me that they didn't trust me, but I guess I can't say that I trust any1 apart from my councillor and my mum.

    Although I've never been in a sexual relationship, I have been betrayed by some of my friends and now I don't trust any1.

    I try to keep going on my own. I sort out my own problems, I keep myself to myself and I only confide in people who I trust in the situation.

    I guess I'm missing out on the best things in life by pushing ppl away. I doubt I'll ever be in a trusting relationship & after I leave college I will probably be alone (I'll probably die alone).

    I guess that trusting ppl is dangerous, but not all ppl are bad. I know that there are nasty ppl in the world and others who will try to hurt you, it's really up to you if you want to risk it.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry I didnt mean to make ne1 feel bad. I can understand what ur going through I think alot of people can relate to what your saying, I know you must really love your b/f but if u cant start to trust him then I think some1's gotta end it. I know its probably the last thing u want 2 do but it sounds like it has to be done. Theres plenty of people out there if u look one day Mr. right will come along and you will be happy, but its obvious your not now so.....
    Luv me
    xxxx
    xxxx
    Good luck :-)
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    hey liberty, youre not gonna die alone!!!! (((((((liberty)))))))

    you just have to learn to trust people little by little, there ARE some good people out there, you just have to find them. i guess one person isnt gonna be 100% trustworthy all the time, there might be times where they accidentally let slip things you didnt want them to, these thigns do happen.. or if theyre worried about you they might talk about it with someone THEY trust.

    i dont have that many people i can trust.. i have friends on the internet who i trust, even though most of them dont know each other or my friends, i can still trust them with anything and know they wont tell anyone if i ask them not to. all relationships, friends as well as romantic ones are about taking risks, you have to give a little bit of yourself in order that they'll give something back.

    anyway im goig a bit off topic i think..

    It only takes one tree to make a thousand matches, only takes one match to burn a thousand trees
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    There are people you can trust & people you can't. I've found that it's easier to trust if you are trustworthy.

    I had an affair and when my ex-husband was happy to take me back, I said no. I knew that he could never trust me again & after I had done that to him, I wouldn't be able to trust him (good for the goose 'n'all that).

    However, with my current husband (god, sounds like there are going to be more lol) I know I will never cheat on him, nor him on me. Maybe it's something to do with how I trust him.

    Life would be miserable if you could never trust anyone, less potentially painful, but you would miss out on so much (IMHO)

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    let your instincts guide you about who you trust - its the only way. sometimes you meet people and just know you can trust them but without knowing exactly why and others you have reservations about regardless of how well you know them - you still keep questionning them. thats probably really vague advice but its true!

    i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made us to match the men.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Trust has to be earned...

    saying that, it took my ex ages to gain my trust, then he destroyed it all on Wednesday when he dumped me by email, telling me he hadn't wanted to be with me for the last three weeks! I couldn't tell he was lying to me, in fact I've come to the point I feel like he only stopped with me till I'd gone to bed with him.

    Right now I'm thinking there is no Mr. Right out there, only Mr Will_Do_For_Now
    and right now I'm not prepared to settle for second best, so I'm thinking I will be alone for a long time..

    It's been said that if you don't trust anyone then you're not gonna be hurt, but that's wrong! I mean, I've been hurt by people I didn't trust too.

    We are all in the gutter.
    The difference between us is that some of us face skyward..
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Right now I'm thinking there is no Mr. Right out there, only Mr Will_Do_For_Now
    and right now I'm not prepared to settle for second best, so I'm thinking I will be alone for a long time..

    Yes RIGHT NOW you do feel like this, but it does get easier, if he can't even tell you to your face that its over, he really aint worth the hassle, and hasn't got the guts to confront you.

    Why are blokes like that. When i was younger i was seeing this lad, and he finished with me on the phone and i never saw him again. I wasn't too gutted. Then after him i saw this other lad (god i sound like a slapper) he came out with the old line "i think of you more as a sister than a girlfriend" like that was supposed to make me feel better. Why can't they just give us a good and realistic reason for ending it and be upfront about it all instead of making silly excuses or not having the balls to at least tell u to your face.

    It is hard to trust again, but as has been said before, instinct will tell you when Mr Right comes along, and whether u can trust him or not.

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