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Why wont she leave him?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
this is how it is
i have been friends with this girl for my whole school life. but i have strong feelings for this girl. i am leaving in may after doing my alevels and going to uni in london or my home town this girl is staying in our home town so there could be little chance that i would ever see her again so while at a party i told her my feelings. She told me she loved me and would like to start a relationship with me. However she has a b/f who is drunk or stoned constantly who cant hold a conversation for more than a minute yet she wont leave him after going out with him for 15 months. none of her friends like him, he is dragging her into a life of drugs and i dont know what to do can some one please help me as i dont have a lot of time left as this would be a major factor if i go to one uni or the one in london as i really do love her and have done for a long time.
i have been friends with this girl for my whole school life. but i have strong feelings for this girl. i am leaving in may after doing my alevels and going to uni in london or my home town this girl is staying in our home town so there could be little chance that i would ever see her again so while at a party i told her my feelings. She told me she loved me and would like to start a relationship with me. However she has a b/f who is drunk or stoned constantly who cant hold a conversation for more than a minute yet she wont leave him after going out with him for 15 months. none of her friends like him, he is dragging her into a life of drugs and i dont know what to do can some one please help me as i dont have a lot of time left as this would be a major factor if i go to one uni or the one in london as i really do love her and have done for a long time.
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the best thing u can do is talk 2 this girl tell her exactly how u feel and the fact that u r willing not 2 go 2 london if it means u 2 can be together but she must make a decision quick. and tell her in a nice way wot a waste of time this lad is and that he will wreck her life if she does not get out now.
good luck hun get back 2 me luv jo xxx
Ok, maybe it's just ME being dumb but why is APC necessarily a lesbian? Why can't APC be a straight guy? <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif">
When you're writing a reply click on the "Smilies Legend" written at the left hand side for a full and comprehensive list of all the smilies and how to use them <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">
Here's my advice for what it's worth.........
I agree with jo - talk to this girl - tell her again how you feel. I don't quite know why she's still with this bloke if she said she loves you, but it's worth talking to her about it. Tell her you still want her and tell her your feelings about this bloke. However don't go overboard and start slagging him off loads - if you do she may start getting defensive and upset.
have you thought that if she really loved u, she would leave this guy 4u?
find out what she is holding on to
There's a girl in my mirror
I wonder who she is
Sometimes i think i know her
Sometimes i really wish i did
and ive been living with this situation and talking about it with both my friend adn the new bf guy whos also a friend of mine, ever since the beginning of november, and so im totally sick of giving advice for this situation!! im sorry for sounding really selfish, im just at the point of exploding when i hear this kinda thing at the mo. the only difference is that there wasnt really any drugs involved, he just smoked a bit of pot in social situations. he was just a bastard to her and blamed her for everything in their relationship and made her feel worthless and turned her into a shadow of the person i knew before. she couldnt see this though, she was blinded by love.
it might be a similar case in your situation. i think you need to talk to this girl, dont always hang around for her to be herr "back up" so to speak, as whats happened with the new bf in my friends situation. shes been messing with both their heads, shes too indecisive and so she just wants to have someone, anyone, and feels she has more security with the ex i guess.
i think you need to voice your concerns over the drugs and stuff and him being a bad influence over your friend, say youre concerned for her as a friend. this might have to take place before the other discussion, which is when youll tell her your feelings for her again, if she doesnt already know them to their full extent, and then say to her that you're willing to stick around if she wants to make a go of it, but she has to make the break from her bf and not go back to him. dont sacrifice your chance of success and happiness at a london uni, for one that might not be as good in your home ton, for the sake of this girl. do what you feel is right, i know it may be hard leaving her, considering your feelings, but there is always the chance she will keep going back to her bf, if she does agree to be with you. if she were to go with you to london for instance, this would be a more desirable situation, as she would be physically separated from him and less likely to get back with him, and it would show a willingness to put effort in on her part. i dont know how feasible that idea is <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/confused.gif">
i hope ive been some help, sorry for waffling on about my friends situation so much, i jsut thought it seemed similar. sorry if i didnt tell you what you wanted to hear <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">
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