Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Aged 16-25? Share your experience of using the discussion boards and receive a £25 voucher! Take part via text-chat, video or phone. Click here to find out more and to take part.
Options

what would you do

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you were in a relationship wth a guy/girl, You knew that you loved your partner a lot but you fell for some other guy/girl..and you really fell for them...

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I would worry
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i would think that obviously i didn't love my partner as much as i thought i did.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    learn your lesson. it ain't worth it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id wonder why i was so attracted to this person.there may be something missing from the relationship that you are in at the moment and this may be your hearts way of telling you. Maybe if you could figure this out you could solve your problem. If this is not the problem however, you will have to think carefully about what you want to do next. Is this other person worth risking the great relationship now and do they like you back. Whatever you decide its going to be hard so i hope it works out for the best.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by WildSpirit
    id wonder why i was so attracted to this person.there may be something missing from the relationship that you are in at the moment and this may be your hearts way of telling you. Maybe if you could figure this out you could solve your problem. If this is not the problem however, you will have to think carefully about what you want to do next. Is this other person worth risking the great relationship now and do they like you back. Whatever you decide its going to be hard so i hope it works out for the best.
    :yes: Wise words.
    It may well be that although you love your boyfriend/girlfriend, there's something going wrong or something missing which is why you feel like you have to turn to someone else - that can be sorted by talking things through with your othr half. If not though, as WildSpirit says, you have to think more seriously about the 'other person.'
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Tbh I actually ment What would YOU do As i wanted to know what you would do in that situation.......Though please bear in mind that in was just a question....(although any advice would be taken on board) thank you.

    :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd try and think about who I wanted to be with more, and other stuff, like how practical it all is and stuff.

    Depends on the circumstances.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    If I fancied someone else more than my boyf, I'd get it on with the other guy :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thankfully I've never been in that situation before. And hopefully never will be. I've been on the other end of that before though, and found that I've been cheated on. :mad:

    All I can say is that you can't have that many strong feelings for your current g/f if you're feelings are strong for someone else. Either sort your relationship out, or finish it.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DONT DO IT! JUST CLEAR THIS OTHER PERSON OUT OF YOUR MIND! Ive been there done that and now im paying big time for it! Just sort things out with your boyf and stay with him, or you will regret it!

    love candycane xxx
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by *Candycane*
    DONT DO IT! JUST CLEAR THIS OTHER PERSON OUT OF YOUR MIND! Ive been there done that and now im paying big time for it! Just sort things out with your boyf and stay with him, or you will regret it!

    love candycane xxx
    but surely if you fall forsomeone else, you have to give it a go. I know who I would want to be with, the one I was in love with. You may end up with neither but if u stay with yr current to work things out, how could you ever love them like you once did when in your heart you know who you love.
    Staying with someone to try n work things out because you think its the right thing to do for your partner does not make sense to me. If you have really fallen for someone else all your gona think about is them, all your gona want is them and you owe it to yourself to find out if it would work.

    Staying with someone you think you love as oppose to be with someon you have madly fallen for is weird.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Thing is people will ALWAYS take a fancy to others when in a relationship. Its human nature to appreciate attractive people and the grass is always greener on the other side.

    Now some people realise this is a reality and shut it out, others think its "a sign", "meant to be", "the true one for me" and go and end a fucking good relationship because they are too fucking dumb to realise it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'd wonder what had attracted me to this other girl and if it was more worth it then losing someone i supposedly love and have something with as the other cud be leading me on
    Jez
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    id do the mature thing :p

    well actually no, I'd go home bang my head on a wall (like so: :banghead:) and then sleep and ignore both of them till theyd both lost interest in me :p once again doing what i seem to do a lot :p
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by VinylVicky
    but surely if you fall forsomeone else, you have to give it a go. I know who I would want to be with, the one I was in love with. You may end up with neither but if u stay with yr current to work things out, how could you ever love them like you once did when in your heart you know who you love.
    Staying with someone to try n work things out because you think its the right thing to do for your partner does not make sense to me. If you have really fallen for someone else all your gona think about is them, all your gona want is them and you owe it to yourself to find out if it would work.

    Staying with someone you think you love as oppose to be with someon you have madly fallen for is weird.

    I'd go with a similar line of thought to what vicky has said...all this stuff about life being short and stuff isnt it worth giving the othe rperson youve fallen for a try see what happens...yes it goes without saying that you love the one your currently with but at the same time its unfair on you both if you have developed feelings for someone else then all you can do is give it a try if it doesnt work then fine at least you tried......You could always say to your current partner you want to see other people to see if it is that person you want to be with or not..

    To everything that exists there is a contradiction...Or so i believe....Do what you think is right

    :)


    ®
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't listen to the stirrers. You could be throwing away the best thing that happened to you for a quick fling. The grass is always greener. Of course this other person seems lovely and exciting and you have developed feelings, they aren't in a relationship with you. When they are they could be a whole different person. Do think through if you do really love your current partner by all means, but if you truly do then forget this other person. If everybody in the world acted on every crush and interest they had outside their relationship then we would have 99% divorce rates, no new births, more single than coupled people in the country etc.

    I also imagine most people advising go for it aren't currently in relationships therefore their judgement is clouded.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sir Cum
    Don't listen to the stirrers. You could be throwing away the best thing that happened to you for a quick fling.

    Well said, whats the point in throwing something away for a quick fling ? If you meet someone and straight away you fancy the arse off them how do you know that they arent out for just a bit of fun, then you leave your current partner and then they decide to tell you where to go ?
    Im married and sometimes i think "phew hes a bitta alright" but thats it, im committed to my hubby so I may look but thats it.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Sir Cum
    Thing is people will ALWAYS take a fancy to others when in a relationship. Its human nature to appreciate attractive people and the grass is always greener on the other side.

    Now some people realise this is a reality and shut it out, others think its "a sign", "meant to be", "the true one for me" and go and end a fucking good relationship because they are too fucking dumb to realise it.
    Yeah but they said what would you do if you had fallen in love, not fancy and I dont know about you lot but I can way tell the difference!
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Well said, whats the point in throwing something away for a quick fling ? If you meet someone and straight away you fancy the arse off them how do you know that they arent out for just a bit of fun, then you leave your current partner and then they decide to tell you where to go ?
    Im married and sometimes i think "phew hes a bitta alright" but thats it, im committed to my hubby so I may look but thats it.
    NO it wasnt well said, he aint on about fancyimng someone, hes on about falling in love! Why undermine him by saying its just fancying someone? I have been here and once you fall for someone else there is no going back. If you dont persue it things are still never gonna be the same with your partner. How can you look your partner in the eyes after and tell them you love them when your heart is with someone else?

    The advice I would give is to be sure it is actually love dear :D
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by VinylVicky
    NO it wasnt well said, he aint on about fancyimng someone, hes on about falling in love! Why undermine him by saying its just fancying someone? I have been here and once you fall for someone else there is no going back. If you dont persue it things are still never gonna be the same with your partner. How can you look your partner in the eyes after and tell them you love them when your heart is with someone else?

    The advice I would give is to be sure it is actually love dear :D

    Yes he is right :p

    Initially you start having some kinda feelings, you dont just go to the pub and see someone and think Im falling in love with him. You start off by facying someone.
    As I said I have seen fellas and thought 'phoa', but thats it, i will not allow myself to take it any further. I could have had about 20 flings and left my hubby, but that woul be stupid. Im in a committed relationship and to me that means staying faithful, I should not allow myself to start fancying anyone else having said that its ok to look but just dont touch. If I had taken things further then my marriage would be over and do I want that ? NO.

    It has a lot to do with the relationship you are in also, if you have just started seeing someone and its not serious then yeah maybe if you meet someone else leave the new partner but not when its something thats been going on for a while. Its wrong to muck about with peoples feelings Imo.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo
    Yes he is right :p

    Initially you start having some kinda feelings, you dont just go to the pub and see someone and think Im falling in love with him. You start off by facying someone.
    As I said I have seen fellas and thought 'phoa', but thats it, i will not allow myself to take it any further. I could have had about 20 flings and left my hubby, but that woul be stupid. Im in a committed relationship and to me that means staying faithful, I should not allow myself to start fancying anyone else having said that its ok to look but just dont touch. If I had taken things further then my marriage would be over and do I want that ? NO.

    It has a lot to do with the relationship you are in also, if you have just started seeing someone and its not serious then yeah maybe if you meet someone else leave the new partner but not when its something thats been going on for a while. Its wrong to muck about with peoples feelings Imo.
    He has obviuosly allowed himselfthough hasnt he? So where you can stop yourself because your in the right relationship, he hasnt been able to, so to me that sounds like there is something wrong in his relationship.
    You can tell the difference between being in love or just lusting after them. If you know your feelings are stronger than lust then I cant see him carrying on with his girlfriend and being happy. If it is just lust I would say what your saying but he isnt saying that.



    I would suggest having a break from everyone to work out your feelings.
    :)
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BeckyBoo


    Its wrong to muck about with peoples feelings Imo.
    Yes and being in love with someone else and staying with someone your not is doing just that. If my boyfriend was in love with another girl and stayed with me to save me from pain, I would be even more devestated. I would think him a coward and be angry at him for delaying my pain and not giving me the chance to move on. Finding out id been having sex or even just lying in bed with someone, thinking he loves me then finding out its someone else he was thinking about would gut me.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Vicky there is no mention of love. And even if there was I still stick by what I say as the original post says "And you still love your partner". Its a very black and white and blinkered view to believe you can only love 1 person.

    I think if you DID fall in LOVE with someone else you should first of all question if you really love your current partner, but if you decide you do, I'd just shut the feelings for the new person out.

    Why should I feel guilty or let the feelings ruin the current relationship? Its human nature. It seems very narrow minded to think "Meet Someone, Love them, Be in a relationship with them, meet someone else, Love them, dump previous and move on". People aren't stepping stones. I am sure in some cases the person WOULD be better moving on, but I think in a lot of others the person that goes for the new catch is making a big unneccessary fuck up.

    Saying all that though - I would question somebody that claims they can fall in love with someone without spending some quality private time with them. I can imagine people being infatuated, having a crush, lusting or maybe not being able to get someone out of their head, but falling in love with their whole package? I don't buy that.
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Wow ok didnt expect this many people to reply tbh nor did i expect it to turn into a heated discuss of sorts :p

    Anyway..Seems like this is a subject that not everyone is going to agree on in terms of views etc etc but then we cant all feel the same share the same views can we.
    I wasnt really meaning myself as such Though at the time i made this thread there was a reason for it.I ament currently in a relationship,prob never will be again,but i really really like 2 people, both are now taken and ive decided to accept i'll never find anyone for me and also because with one of the girls i fell for who i talk to it isnt fair on her knowing how i feel about her and stuff, the other girl .. well .. I see her a lot when she is working my feelings for her came flooding back the other day for her!

    But back to the point..........

    I'd try to be open minded about things...it isnt fair on your current partner if you fall for someone else as much as you feel for them and to stay with them whilst wanting someone else is wrong..But its also kind of unfair on yourself also....
Sign In or Register to comment.