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what would you do
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
If you were in a relationship wth a guy/girl, You knew that you loved your partner a lot but you fell for some other guy/girl..and you really fell for them...
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It may well be that although you love your boyfriend/girlfriend, there's something going wrong or something missing which is why you feel like you have to turn to someone else - that can be sorted by talking things through with your othr half. If not though, as WildSpirit says, you have to think more seriously about the 'other person.'
Depends on the circumstances.
All I can say is that you can't have that many strong feelings for your current g/f if you're feelings are strong for someone else. Either sort your relationship out, or finish it.
Mr_Wobble
love candycane xxx
Staying with someone to try n work things out because you think its the right thing to do for your partner does not make sense to me. If you have really fallen for someone else all your gona think about is them, all your gona want is them and you owe it to yourself to find out if it would work.
Staying with someone you think you love as oppose to be with someon you have madly fallen for is weird.
Now some people realise this is a reality and shut it out, others think its "a sign", "meant to be", "the true one for me" and go and end a fucking good relationship because they are too fucking dumb to realise it.
Jez
well actually no, I'd go home bang my head on a wall (like so: :banghead:) and then sleep and ignore both of them till theyd both lost interest in me once again doing what i seem to do a lot
I'd go with a similar line of thought to what vicky has said...all this stuff about life being short and stuff isnt it worth giving the othe rperson youve fallen for a try see what happens...yes it goes without saying that you love the one your currently with but at the same time its unfair on you both if you have developed feelings for someone else then all you can do is give it a try if it doesnt work then fine at least you tried......You could always say to your current partner you want to see other people to see if it is that person you want to be with or not..
To everything that exists there is a contradiction...Or so i believe....Do what you think is right
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I also imagine most people advising go for it aren't currently in relationships therefore their judgement is clouded.
Well said, whats the point in throwing something away for a quick fling ? If you meet someone and straight away you fancy the arse off them how do you know that they arent out for just a bit of fun, then you leave your current partner and then they decide to tell you where to go ?
Im married and sometimes i think "phew hes a bitta alright" but thats it, im committed to my hubby so I may look but thats it.
The advice I would give is to be sure it is actually love dear
Yes he is right
Initially you start having some kinda feelings, you dont just go to the pub and see someone and think Im falling in love with him. You start off by facying someone.
As I said I have seen fellas and thought 'phoa', but thats it, i will not allow myself to take it any further. I could have had about 20 flings and left my hubby, but that woul be stupid. Im in a committed relationship and to me that means staying faithful, I should not allow myself to start fancying anyone else having said that its ok to look but just dont touch. If I had taken things further then my marriage would be over and do I want that ? NO.
It has a lot to do with the relationship you are in also, if you have just started seeing someone and its not serious then yeah maybe if you meet someone else leave the new partner but not when its something thats been going on for a while. Its wrong to muck about with peoples feelings Imo.
You can tell the difference between being in love or just lusting after them. If you know your feelings are stronger than lust then I cant see him carrying on with his girlfriend and being happy. If it is just lust I would say what your saying but he isnt saying that.
I would suggest having a break from everyone to work out your feelings.
I think if you DID fall in LOVE with someone else you should first of all question if you really love your current partner, but if you decide you do, I'd just shut the feelings for the new person out.
Why should I feel guilty or let the feelings ruin the current relationship? Its human nature. It seems very narrow minded to think "Meet Someone, Love them, Be in a relationship with them, meet someone else, Love them, dump previous and move on". People aren't stepping stones. I am sure in some cases the person WOULD be better moving on, but I think in a lot of others the person that goes for the new catch is making a big unneccessary fuck up.
Saying all that though - I would question somebody that claims they can fall in love with someone without spending some quality private time with them. I can imagine people being infatuated, having a crush, lusting or maybe not being able to get someone out of their head, but falling in love with their whole package? I don't buy that.
Anyway..Seems like this is a subject that not everyone is going to agree on in terms of views etc etc but then we cant all feel the same share the same views can we.
I wasnt really meaning myself as such Though at the time i made this thread there was a reason for it.I ament currently in a relationship,prob never will be again,but i really really like 2 people, both are now taken and ive decided to accept i'll never find anyone for me and also because with one of the girls i fell for who i talk to it isnt fair on her knowing how i feel about her and stuff, the other girl .. well .. I see her a lot when she is working my feelings for her came flooding back the other day for her!
But back to the point..........
I'd try to be open minded about things...it isnt fair on your current partner if you fall for someone else as much as you feel for them and to stay with them whilst wanting someone else is wrong..But its also kind of unfair on yourself also....