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Virgin

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok here goes:

I'm a 21 year old virgin, and have one simple question, does this seem incredibly wierd to anybody else?

I'm not particularly worried or insecure about it, more strangely curious, if anything worried about what any girl might think of this fact?

Ironically enough I'm a med student and know more about the workings of sex than the average person :-), and my fairly intensive studies through my otherwise "social" college years are probably to blame for this more than anything else.

I totally get girls, and have this thing where all the girls like me a lot (think I'm a gentleman :-P), but I fall inexorably into the "friend zone", pretty much all the girls I know like me, just not like *that*, and I just don't have the time for the stupid games involved with getting girls into bed for the sheer sake of it.

So tell me, what's the deal, is this whacked, do girls expect guys to act like dickheads around them? Is a 21 year old virgin an ok thing these days?

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Re: Virgin
    Originally posted by pavlovs_dog

    does this seem incredibly wierd to anybody else?

    nope not at all :) everyone looses it at different ages, and just because most people loose it before 21, dosent mean you need to follow the crowd and do exactly what there doing



    oh and, do a search, im sure this thread has been done thousands of times before, probably explains why im ther only one who replied so far :p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm you're right.

    Thankyou, I'm so glad *somebody* out of 10 people who have read it cared to reply :-)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by pavlovs_dog
    Hmmm you're right.

    Thankyou, I'm so glad *somebody* out of 10 people who have read it cared to reply :-)

    Well the others were probably too polite to tell you they think it's strange. :D

    Seriously, it's not weird at all. You'll probably find yourself pulling single mums left right and centre when you hit 25.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle
    Well the others were probably too polite to tell you they think it's strange. :D

    Seriously, it's not weird at all. You'll probably find yourself pulling single mums left right and centre when you hit 25.

    ^^*s******s*

    Seriously though, not as uncommon as you'd think... I know a few people who are waiting for marriage. :eek:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Simbelyne
    ^^*s******s*

    Errr... why am I not allowed to write S N I G G E R S?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know it's better to hear it from real people, but this feature reiterates what the others have said. You're definitely NOT weird - or that unusual believe it or not!
    :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Simbelyne
    Errr... why am I not allowed to write S N I G G E R S?

    Presumably because it contains the word '******'. I hate to use the phrase 'politically correct' but in this case, I think I have to. :eek2:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Its not weird at all, I know people who are around that age and virgins, i was myself until recenty and im 20. also my boyfriend was 21 so its not weird, so dont worry.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't worry about it too much.
    It's a bummer they only see you as a friend though. You say you're a gentleman with them, and that's probably why. They just see you as the proverbial "nice guy" ie chump. Sorry to put it brutally like that, but they will only ever see you as a friend.
    Do you ever flirt. I mean outrageously, and laden with inuendo? If not, then maybe they're just seeing you as the boring "nice guy", and not as a red hot, exciting, sexual animal, lover, and boyfriend.
    Ok, in a few years, after they've been out with a few bastards that treat them like shit they might change their mind, and view of you. But in the meantime what are you getting? Nowhere! :(
    I could go on for hours on this subject, but I won't as I'm tired, and just a tad tiddly at the moment (mmm, rum & coke! :yum: ).

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    From 'Brooklyn Story' "you only get three good women in your life".
    And like the character who said that in the movie I have had 2 of them before my mid-twenties, that sucks cos I wasn't really mature enough to enjoy them at the time. One left and I better hope I don't mess this one up - whenever I meet her - lol.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I dont think its wierd at all, think its kinda cute, just imagine how wkd the sex will be when u do get it! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Theres nothing wrong with that at all. My best mate is 20, nearly 21, n he still is, n i know he plans to be until he finds someone he really loves n who loves him too.
    I plan to wait a while too...I want it to mean something to me n the "lucky" bloke...
    And unlike some people (NB this is not purposely aimed at anyone here!) i dont plan on sleeping with anything that has something dangling between its legs!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Filmjunky
    From 'Brooklyn Story' "you only get three good women in your life".

    a bronx tale*
    love that film :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    lol..... Bronx Tale...lol
    I knew it was something along those lines, it was on again last night. Not living up to my namesake am I. Course I couldn't really be arsed to check it up - I thought I had it right. But yeah that was the film I was on about.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Ilson-Youth
    It seems during all the teenage years, and then even to a lesser extent, the lower 20's girls are just after dickheads.

    They like lads to be "exciting" (thats the tag the place on it, for wanting a dickhead) only then to be shocked when he sleeps with all her mates, or treats her like shit.


    Just dont try to change and be one of them, because as THEY (the girls) mature, they'll appriciate what you really are, someone that respects them, looks out for them, and can offer them more "excitment" than those rude boy dickheads they used to like, and as such you'll find them flocking to you.


    I suffered a similiar fate, my teenage years werent filled with girlfriends, perhaps they thought i was boring, which wasnt the case, i just didnt go around wearing burberry and breaking into cars.
    I agree with most of what you say. But I would say that you can use some of their ways to get girls. By that I mean looks, attitude, etc. Once you've got yourself a girlfriend, then maybe you can let her "change you", and hopefully she'll realise you really are exciting, not boring.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    I agree with most of what you say. But I would say that you can use some of their ways to get girls. By that I mean looks, attitude, etc. Once you've got yourself a girlfriend, then maybe you can let her "change you", and hopefully she'll realise you really are exciting, not boring.

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    I very much aggree with Ilson-youth, this is basically how I feel:

    That I have the respect and trust of my girl(-)friends for a reason, and I don't really think that my looks or attitude need too much of a tuning, at least not towards the ways of some of the abusive, irreverent pseudo-macho alcoholic idiots that seem to be pulling left, right and centre around me. I kinda like the way I act towards women, and will continue to be respectful of my friends and earn their respect in return (and if this makes me a "chump" so be it :) ) I do actually flirt/laugh/have fun with girls quite a bit too Mr Wobble and get a lot of that in return (and tht's all "good and fun"), just not the sex (which doesn't concern me too much at all).

    I'm really curious, and would like some female answers: do women expect or like guys to be idiots, and does this somehow turn them on?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by pavlovs_dog
    I'm really curious, and would like some female answers: do women expect or like guys to be idiots, and does this somehow turn them on?
    You won't get much out of them. I've tried. I once asked them about what people said to them when chatting them up.
    They just said, "oh, things stuff, they just make me laugh"
    So, I asked "What sort of things, give me an example"
    And someone said something like "Oh, I can't remember, they just made me laugh"
    You see, you won't get a good answer, let alone an example.

    They'll all say that they don't go for the idiots, yet read some of their posts about relationships and it'll be aparent that enough of them do.
    They'll tell you they like nice guys, and not to change, and talk of respect, etc. But at the end of the day, a bloke that comes up to them, all cocky, has the gift of the gab, is persistant, makes them laugh, and is full of bull, stands a better chance than you do. Learn to do what they do to get your foot in the door, then reveal yourself to be a nice guy.

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    You won't get much out of them. I've tried. I once asked them about what people said to them when chatting them up.
    They just said, "oh, things stuff, they just make me laugh"
    So, I asked "What sort of things, give me an example"
    And someone said something like "Oh, I can't remember, they just made me laugh"
    You see, you won't get a good answer, let alone an example.

    They'll all say that they don't go for the idiots, yet read some of their posts about relationships and it'll be aparent that enough of them do.
    They'll tell you they like nice guys, and not to change, and talk of respect, etc. But at the end of the day, a bloke that comes up to them, all cocky, has the gift of the gab, is persistant, makes them laugh, and is full of bull, stands a better chance than you do. Learn to do what they do to get your foot in the door, then reveal yourself to be a nice guy.

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    Too bad you're not in America. heh :hyper:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by LadyNightingale
    Too bad you're not in America. heh :hyper:
    *books plane ticket* ...Erm, where to? ;)

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hi mate.

    I'm 21 as well. I only lost my viginity about 3 weeks ago (and have gotten laid about 20 times since then :crazyeyes ).

    Just don't worry to much about it, and don't come across as desperate.

    The chick I'm screwing doesn't even know I was a virgin before her.. (so I must be doing something right!).

    People attach too much importance to sex...these days (even *before* I got laid) I've been far more worried about hotting up my car than getting any action. I just happened to make friends with a girl who has the same type of car, and also happened to go to the same uni as me - in short, I was lucky! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Mr_Wobble
    *books plane ticket* ...Erm, where to? ;)

    Mr_Wobble ;)

    I'll be moving to Arkansas in a matter of days. :naughty:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hmmm, Arkansas. A bit of a trek for a skint Wobbler to make. Couldn't you move closer, like my cellar? :D

    Mr_Wobble ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hiya, just wanted to say that i know loads of guys who are around 19 - 21 who are still virgins and in my opinion they are the most caring guys cos they dont go out with a girl for the sex...they go out with her cos they like her, now i know most girls these days want a decent guy who does care about them and wont play them...

    and look at it this way, the more people you sleep with, the higher the chances of contracting an sti/std so when you do finally meet someone who you feel you want to have sex with...you'll be pretty much sure that your not giving her anything which may potentially fuck her life up...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Turtle
    You'll probably find yourself pulling single mums left right and centre when you hit 25.

    And what do you mean by that exactly?
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