what do I do

Former Member

I am sitting here with a chipped bone in my wrist and a shoulder that is very painful. I am living with a guy who is so quietly spoken and mild mannered that nobody would belive how he can loose his temper. I am no angel, but I feel so lonely - we argued after he thru me on the floor and when I cried he said he didnt want to be with anybody who behaved like that. My friends say I am well liked, king and caring and also good looking (if I could only believe that). He was physically abused by his mum and his dad didnt really care about her, from what I can gather. We split up a couple of years ago, but have since got back together, during our split I started seeing somebody else for a few weeks. His sister told him about it and he wont let me forget it. I am so sad, and scared I dont trust his temper anymore and also we have a nice house but I know it will be a struggle to manageon my own. I am worried about my daughter - he always plays mind and emotional games with me and seems to win all the time. What am I going to do.

Former Member

walk out the door and never turn back i mean it.
you have to leave him before things get worse do you really want your daughteer growing up in this kind of environment? or even worse how would you feel if he started hurting her too? you have got to leave for yours and your daughters sake please leave him

Former Member

Chloe, he will not change, especially not while he has a woman around that he can abuse (i.e. you). Please read these articles, and use one of the helplines: http://www.thesite.org/legal/dealing_with_domestic_violence.html http://www.thesite.org/relationships/lovelife/emotional_abuse.html http://www.thesite.org/relationships/national_helplines.html (Refuge may be able to put you in touch with local support groups or specialist counselling)

Take good care of yourself, and let us know how you get on.

all the best
Karla

Former Member

The fact you are asking the question should make you realise that you are in a bad situation and need to get out.
Its easier said than done I'm sure but think of the long term, think of what you want your daughter to remember when she's older.

Former Member

You have to leave this guy. He thinks he can abuse you and get away with it and all he'll do is get worse most likely. I know you may not want to leave but you have to for your safety and your daughters. Good Luck

Former Member

i think what everyone has said is very true, and that if nothing else, you should leave for the sake of your daughter. sounds harsh, and it may be hard to cope without him, but imagine bringing up a child in a family where daddy thinks its acceptable to beat mummy. be strong, and good luck.

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Nolite te bastardes carborundorum

Former Member

LEAVE!
You deserve much, much better, and so does your daughter.

Former Member

If I were you I would leave. Whether or not you love him, or whether he says he loves you, it seems to me that the relationship that you two have is not working for either of you (which it seems to me that it isn't). People have said that you should walk out on him, which does make sense, after all how can you live with a person who treats you like this? He may well be a nice person who just has a few issues, but think of your daughters safety. As Dan said, think about how seeing daddy beat up mummy will affect your daughter. please keep in touch with us, and if you decide to stay around thesite then welcome <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif">, it can be a good place for friends and support.

please take care xxxx

Former Member

LEAVE!! i no it will be hard especially if u love him!! But the sooner u leave the sooner u cant start fresh and meet some1 else, some1 that deserves u!!! Be strong!!

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"The hardest part of loving is not when you get hurt. It's when you can't show the one you love how you feel because his heart already belongs to someone else."

Former Member

I have to agree - for the sake of yourself and you kid get out. The local council should be able to provide some form of support, and there are many diferent places out there to shelter, go stay with family, a friend, anyone just out of there. There is never any excuse for domestic violence, and it is NOT your fault.

Please stick around on here and let us know how you get on, I have only been a member of this group for 2 days myself, and already these people seem to give the best advice going.

I hope things get better for you.

Concentric_circles

Former Member

Go. Leave. Now.

Before it is too late.

Once the avalance is started it is too late for the pebbles to vote.

Now I have to try to stay calm - hearing of a lady being beaten gets me absolutely livid.

Former Member

I've been in a relationship before where I got beaten about. I left him several times but fell for the pleas of he loves me and wants me back. Eventually I got pregnant, He was happy and bought me a puppy but one night he got angry for no reason. Beat the baby out of me and killed the dog. I left then and immediately pressed charges. Throughout it all I had turned against my mum and dad because of him but thankfully they took me home and supported me through some hard times after. Please don't make the mistake I did. Get your daughter away and don't let her be exposed to that kind of bullying before she does something similar or even gets treated in the same way!

Former Member

i grew up seeing the kind of scenes that your daughter could potentially be exposed to. My mum got out for my sake and I have so much respect for her for it. Don't let her be part of an environment like that. It can realy screw u up. And whilst we're at it you deserve much better than that too.

Good luck