What defines a serious relationship?

Former Member

Ok Just got off the phone to my GF and shes basically said to me that she doesnt want to get too serious. She also said she still wants to see me. Now considering i only see her about 2/3 times a week i thought we were anything but serious.

This has totally pissed me off because i kept on asking her what she meant by not being serious and where i stand but she never gave a straight answer. I mean now im completly confused and im going to have a proper convo when i next see her about it.

I personally beleive there are 4 levels

1. Seeing each other - can see other people, not really that bothered about each other

2. Going out - Girlfriend and boyfriend, exclusive relationship, care about each other

3. Serious relationship - going out for more than a year, see each other every day, love involved, arguments etc

4. Married - obvious

I thought we were in group 2 but obviously i was mistaken as to her commitment after 2 months. Whats everyones view on this?

Former Member

:yes: i agree with you

Former Member

Re: What defines a serious relationship?

Originally posted by Londonboy
Ok Just got off the phone to my GF and shes basically said to me that she doesnt want to get too serious. She also said she still wants to see me. Now considering i only see her about 2/3 times a week i thought we were anything but serious.

This has totally pissed me off because i kept on asking her what she meant by not being serious and where i stand but she never gave a straight answer. I mean now im completly confused and im going to have a proper convo when i next see her about it.

I personally beleive there are 4 levels

1. Seeing each other - can see other people, not really that bothered about each other

2. Going out - Girlfriend and boyfriend, exclusive relationship, care about each other

3. Serious relationship - going out for more than a year, see each other every day, love involved, arguments etc

4. Married - obvious

I thought we were in group 2 but obviously i was mistaken as to her commitment after 2 months. Whats everyones view on this?

Mmmmm..but don't you think that 2 3 and 4 are the same thing? what difference does Marriage or 'long term' make to commitment and exclusivity if you are committed to another person?

You need to ask your girlfriend if she is suggesting an open relationship or just that she feels she needs more time for her own things?

Personally it sounds like she has issues with commitment, have you been trying to get to see her more? I think that 2-3 times a week when you aren't living together and don't live in your own places (Ie not your mum and dads) is an acceptable situation but it sounds like she is not happy and is trying to cool things off. your best bet would be to respect her wishes but ask questions about her level of commitment. its only a new relationship and perhaps her heart isn't in it.

Former Member

This is a toughie. I said this to the last blokie i was with and that's why it ended. He wanted serious and i wanted to just take things steady and see how it went. This wasnt because i liked him any less, more to do with the fact that i'm quite old fashioned in that id rather date someone first and then progress onto gf/bf if everything is going well.

Just make sure you definately do sort things out as we didn't and managed about three weeks worth of arguements. :rolleyes:

Former Member

i completly agree with you Londonboy!

wouldnt say you see each other every day in a serious relationship, but as much as you can yeah..


ooooooh kylie! love this song

Former Member

my ex said she didnt want a serious relationship and i saw her once a week at most heh. go figure, shes my ex. I don't think she wanted a boyfriend but wanted the idea of a boyfriend.

Just talk to your girl; she's the only one who can set it straight for you. And don't be led astray by confusing answers (as I was) ask her for it straight... good luck mate