I don't feel anything for my girlfriend

Former Member

I've not been going out with this person for very long (just a week) but I don't feel very comfortable with them. We always seem to end up with nothing to talk about, and just sitting there in silence. I get tired of having to make every decision when I'm with her, from what we do when we meet up, or where we walk, the answer always seems to be I don't mind, or words to that effect. I feel I'd rather be with someone who's more self confidant, however I know that the person I'm with is a nice person, and I would feel guilty if I dumped her. I hope that if we stay going out for longer, maybe she'll become more relaxed, less shy. What do people think I should do?

Former Member

if you are not happy do something about it as life is too short. Ask her what her what she thinks and tell her you value her opinion. That way you should get an honest answer and boost her confidence a little.

Who knows it could work.

Former Member

Going out is all about getting to know each other and enjoying yourself in each others company. If you are not comfortable with her, then maybe she is just not the person for you - you lack the spark! If she is so withdrawn and undecisive, maybe she is not comfortable either, but too shy to admit it.

Like you, she may just hang on because she hopes things will improve with time, but because you are not comfortable, it never will.

"You can't hurry love" an old song goes ..... (don't ask me which one - I am too young to know, but I heard it several times)

It may all be in the timing. Maybe the moon or the stars or whatever (time maybe) are not right for you two. Step away without hurting each other (be honest about the reasons) and you may be great friend now. Given time, you might even go out again - properly!

How do I know? Well, I don't know about you two of course, but I had a similar experience a few years ago.
I met this gorgeous girl (I am bisexual, I have to admit), got the hots for her and wanted to see her, but it just did not work. We broke up, stayed friends, and six month later had the most passionate affair you can imagine! It ony ended because we went to different universities.

[This message has been edited by sarah21 (edited 22-07-2000).]

[This message has been edited by sarah21 (edited 22-07-2000).]

Former Member

tell her that you don't feel for her anymore because otherwise you are stringing her along! it may upset her but she'll get over it! good luck whatever you decide!!!