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Trust vs Love

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Okay, this is a tough one.
When you are in love with someone, at what point do you trust them or does being in love mean you trust them anyway?

And at what point does that stop, once you've been cheated on once or do you become less trusting (two different things).

I personally believe you can trust someone and love them but they don't go together necessarily - you have to build trust but love is unexplainable, you know it's there.

Love from the ChunkyMonkey

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    For me you need trust to be able to love. I can't really love someone if I can't trust them, it just would not work. You would have to many doubts and that creates susspicion which can create tension etc...

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    .
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Yeah I understand that you can't control your feelings for a person. I too wish in the past I could have had a switch to turn my feelings for a person on and off. But yeah you still have feelings for that guy, but you said yourself that you can't ever take him back. So you can't truly 100% love the guy. It is hard to explain but when you trust a person totally then you can allow all your emotions run free. You don't have to worry about them using or cheating on you. I don't want to seem patronising or negative by the way, it is hard to explain so I hope I did ok j19.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The only reason I brought up the subject is that my girlfriend went on holiday for two weeks in Greece last weekend - and we have both had different approaches to trusting each other. We have been going out nearly 18months and she trusted me immediately, I could nothing wrong in her eyes - until it happens (which it hasn't) but I have felt that I had to build up that trust.
    I used to worry about her going clubbing with her friends etc but even though she's gone on holiday with 16 of her girlfriends I truly believe and trust in her. And yes, I'm madly in love with her, and have been from the start <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Love from the ChunkyMonkey
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I have never really been let down in a relationship, well not majorily but some people think (because I have discussed it with close friends) that it may stem from the fact that I'm adopted. I personally don't believe it is, I'm not prepared to make excuses.

    That's not to say I never trusted her until now, far from it - we would have split up if that was the case, perhaps I'm about talking about trust at all.

    All I know is that I'm very happy and comfortable in our relationship and therefore, very lucky <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    Love from the ChunkyMonkey
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it takes longer to trust someone than to love them!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    it takes longer to trust someone than to love them!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by lucy180485:
    it takes longer to trust someone than to love them!

    you think?, I'm no tsure, to truely love somebody trust has got to be there, so I think they can only both happen at the same time, although trust has never and will never equal love, just due to society I guess
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wiv love u need trust!!!!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by ChunkyMonkey:

    I personally believe you can trust someone and love them but they don't go together necessarily - you have to build trust but love is unexplainable, you know it's there.

    I think you can trust and love someone. But there are are different levels of trust. And trust grows as a relationship growns

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When you say love, I'm assuming that most of us think of a physical and mental attraction between two ppl. But love can also be a deep mental attraction between two ppl who don't neccesarily feel physically attracted to each other.

    So when I trust someone, I generally will love them, but not in the same way i would love and trust a partner in a sexual relationship.

    Confused? I can't make it any clearer except that trust=love, just I made an argument for it.

    As for love=trust, i think that that is true, but only because love -true, proper love - can't happen without trust.

    So trust always comes before love, and trust and love always come together.
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