If i cut..she cuts..

Former Member

well i just been speaking to my friend and she say's if i cut she will cut... how do i get around it... i cant stop cutting.. i know i cant..

what to do?

Former Member

What do you mean by 'cutting'?

Former Member

Originally posted by curiouslad
What do you mean by 'cutting'?

self harming.. i do it.. she does it and i will feel guilty...

Former Member

I dont know much about this subject but I thought the majority of people who cut themselves do it in private, keep it private etc and dont tell anyone. Obviously i know you can put it here because its not like we know you personally and stuff, so I just wondered is this right or what?

I would personally say if you are cutting then keep it from your friend because this is actually bringing your friend down (by the sounds of it). Obviously your not going to stop overnight so get the professional help you need then things may get better.

Former Member

Tell her to fuck off.
It's emotional blackmail.
And stop showing her your cuts. No one needs to see that.

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
I dont know much about this subject but I thought the majority of people who cut themselves do it in private, keep it private etc and dont tell anyone. Obviously i know you can put it here because its not like we know you personally and stuff, so I just wondered is this right or what?

I would personally say if you are cutting then keep it from your friend because this is actually bringing your friend down (by the sounds of it). Obviously your not going to stop overnight so get the professional help you need then things may get better.

I agree with beck. You really should get some help because it sounds like it is not only you that is getting down.

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
I dont know much about this subject but I thought the majority of people who cut themselves do it in private, keep it private etc and dont tell anyone. Obviously i know you can put it here because its not like we know you personally and stuff, so I just wondered is this right or what?

I would personally say if you are cutting then keep it from your friend because this is actually bringing your friend down (by the sounds of it). Obviously your not going to stop overnight so get the professional help you need then things may get better.

she will find out.. i know she will:crying:

Former Member

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
she will find out.. i know she will:crying:

If you could refrain from assuming the worst case senario in every situation for one moment. The pair of you aren't gonna be much help to each other like this so I would suggest spending some time apart. Get help for your issues. If she wants to seek help, that's up to her but this is a destructive relationship and is not going to help either of you.

And I don't care if you go to the same school together - you don't have to hang around each other. And just don't let her see your cuts. It's that simple.

Former Member

Originally posted by *Groovaybaby*
what if *she* doesnt no him in person.?

Is this you by any chance?

What if he doesn't know her in person? Then stop contact. Or just not talk about self harm. Nothing good will come of this.

More guilt.
More blackmail.
Dragging each other down.

It's not fair on either.
This isn't support. This isn't 'help.'

Former Member

It sounds to me like your friend is trying everything possible to stop you from self harming. It may be a little drastic, but you should be thankful that people care this much for you. What you should concentrate on is trying to help your friend understand WHY you do it - spend some time talking it through with her - and print off some of the threads and features from here to give her to read and help her understand what you are going through. It may even help you to try to explain it to someone who really doesn't understand.
Good luck

Former Member

Originally posted by spanner
It sounds to me like your friend is trying everything possible to stop you from self harming. It may be a little drastic, but you should be thankful that people care this much for you. What you should concentrate on is trying to help your friend understand WHY you do it - spend some time talking it through with her - and print off some of the threads and features from here to give her to read and help her understand what you are going through. It may even help you to try to explain it to someone who really doesn't understand.
Good luck

thanks that was helpfull. no need print it off she reads the forums.. anyway i dont think she will now..:)

Former Member

Sometimes this may be what you really need to help you. I used to self harm i kept it hidden, would only be naked around my boyfriend in the dark incase he saw etc.. but he found out. They always know. He said the same thing to me as your friend is saying to you. It is blackmail but it really worked for me. I loved my bf more than i loved myself and that was what i needed to help me stop. Admitidly i did go back to self harming again, occasionally and maybe you will too. But it died down and now id not consider it... Maybe if you really think about it the love you have for your friend may help you stop? Maybe it wont, every person is different. I really wanted to sometimes id be in such a bad state because i couldnt cut, but i didnt do it.

If you really are in so deep with self harming then you should talk to a therapist, after i began talking to my counsellor i didnt feel the need to cut so much anymore. They may be able to help you find another outlet for your pain than cutting, one that is less halmfull and maybe even more effective. My friend has started thai boxing, another writes poetry. Originally i turned to drugs however, and thats something that i really shouldnt have done.

Former Member

Thanks but she wont cut because of me..were not really on speaking terms.. still dunno what i did wrong.. anyway im use/asometime kick box i play rugby and got EXSTREMLY hurt yesterday and yes it helped but not enough...

i write alot aswell but only during/after i selfharm.. im glad that you have slowed down and stoped. it shows that it isnt going to ruin your life and im happy that it isnt the end of the world. i have just got to learn to look up and see the possative...which is going to be VERY HARD but i think i can get it in the end...

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
I dont know much about this subject but I thought the majority of people who cut themselves do it in private, keep it private etc and dont tell anyone.

I can tell you that thats 100% wrong. And I'm being totally honest. And, for the record, I know the truth as much as Frances does. I have to go to school with you losers.

Former Member

Originally posted by Kayleygrub
I can tell you that thats 100% wrong

no it isn't.

in my experience, cutting is a very secretive activity. i never told anyone, and would do it in places no one would find it, and people i knew and met in therapy who cut were the same.

there seems to be this new generation of cutters who do it in easily seen locations, share it with everyone, almost seem like their bragging, in some horrible way. but they don't represent the majority.

Former Member

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
i have just got to learn to look up and see the possative...which is going to be VERY HARD but i think i can get it in the end...

Therapy really can help some people, if youve not given that a go it really is worth it. And so are anti depressents whilst youre working on finding/solving your problems.. not for everyone and i dont know your situatiuon but its just a thought.

And Kayleygrub... :rolleyes: thats a very closed minded attitude to have.

Former Member

Originally posted by lil_minx
Therapy really can help some people, if youve not given that a go it really is worth it. And so are anti depressents whilst youre working on finding/solving your problems.. not for everyone and i dont know your situatiuon but its just a thought.

And Kayleygrub... :rolleyes: thats a very closed minded attitude to have.

Thank you my councillor is thinking of me going onto AD and maybe a therapist would be good..

Former Member

no.

Former Member

Originally posted by Kayleygrub
I can tell you that thats 100% wrong. And I'm being totally honest. And, for the record, I know the truth as much as Frances does. I have to go to school with you losers.

Excuse me........WTF

Its not 100% wrong as you have already seen here people do it in private, so if you cant offer constructive advice or help then shut it. For the record darling I dont go to school and im not a loser..........thank you !!!!

and there was no need for the reply you made to lil_minx neither, your so far up your own arse !!!

Former Member

Originally posted by Kayleygrub
And lil_minx... you cannot grip sarcasm, full stop. For the record: Me and Graeme see the same fucking councillor.

How the hell are you supposed to tell if someones being sarcastic or not on a message board???? You cant!
Coming to a site and having a go at the regulars isnt really a good way to get in favour. Nor is acting like your part of some special little clique. it just makes you and your schoolfriends just look a little bit pathetic.

Former Member

to be fair I have seen three posts by her and at moment she seems far more than a bit pathetic

Anyway I know someone who self harms and he/she does anything to make sure nobody see's them. However he/she does trust me enough to let me see them if I ask her to make sure she's ok especially if he/she has done a bad one. Main example would be me getting him/her some plasters in a free i had to see what they had to cover. But other than that its totally 100% secret.

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
Excuse me........WTF

Its not 100% wrong as you have already seen here people do it in private, so if you cant offer constructive advice or help then shut it. For the record darling I dont go to school and im not a loser..........thank you !!!!

and there was no need for the reply you made to lil_minx neither, your so far up your own arse !!!

Wow, I've pissed a lot of people off today. I know its no excuse, but I was pretty tired this morning, angry (as usual) and nervous because of the hospital. I may have to edit, because you guys obviously arent the NFC that I treat you to be.

And by the way, I wasnt referring to me going to school with you.

Former Member

Originally posted by rainbow brite
How the hell are you supposed to tell if someones being sarcastic or not on a message board???? You cant!
Coming to a site and having a go at the regulars isnt really a good way to get in favour. Nor is acting like your part of some special little clique. it just makes you and your schoolfriends just look a little bit pathetic.

Yep, it does. I'm sorry, I'm not used to this kind of messageboard. I'm a regular down at the NFc (nirvana2.com), and there things are real different, for a message board. Rules are tight, every other post is sarcasm and its addictive as hell. It sounds bad already, right? Wait until you go there and read the posts and announcements.... be afraid

Former Member

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
Thank you my councillor is thinking of me going onto AD

My advice: Don't go to her for things like that. Its not her job around the school, annoyingly. Get her to write you a letter and see a doctor. He or she would be far more helpful because they have the power to prescribe you what you need, and give you advice and doses and stuff. I know that Julia seems like some kind of help, but unfortunatly her job isnt to do stuff about your problems, its to talk about it

and maybe a therapist would be good..

Oh, they really are :thumbsup:

Former Member

Originally posted by Kayleygrub
I know that Julia seems like some kind of help, but unfortunatly her job isnt to do stuff about your problems, its to talk about it

Thats all any good counsellor would do, Talk to you about your feelings, and try and get to the root cause of why you feel the way you do. Believing that the answers lie within oneself. Sometimes people can get so overwhelmed with feelings, that it takes for an impartial person to talk to to help solve your own problems. A counsellor should never try and solve your problems for you, and antidepressants work best in conjunction with counselling.

Former Member

Well she suggested it and im seeing the doc on thurs and seeing about Anti depressents..

julia is just there to listern she hasnt tryed to solve my problems only suggest optinions...

Former Member

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
Well she suggested it and im seeing the doc on thurs and seeing about Anti depressents..

julia is just there to listern she hasnt tryed to solve my problems only suggest optinions...

what sort of counsellor is she, Is it a school counsellor?

Former Member

i guess. shes a women that comes into the school everyweek i didnt find out about her till recently.

Former Member

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
julia is just there to listern she hasnt tryed to solve my problems only suggest optinions...

She is making you without you realise it talk about your problems. When we talk about things we feel a big weight off our shoulders, its like getting rid of some of the baggage we are carrying.
She wont be able to solve your problems but she can help you face them by talking about your fears etc.

Former Member

Originally posted by BeckyBoo
She is making you without you realise it talk about your problems. When we talk about things we feel a big weight off our shoulders, its like getting rid of some of the baggage we are carrying.
She wont be able to solve your problems but she can help you face them by talking about your fears etc.

I KNOW ITS GREAT ISNT IT....

Former Member

Re: If i cut..she cuts..

Originally posted by Rude_boyz
well i just been speaking to my friend and she say's if i cut she will cut... how do i get around it... i cant stop cutting.. i know i cant..

what to do?

Hey man, well for once I've decided to browse the health forums.

So you're cutting? In a sense I can empathise, I used to hurt myself too, it's kinda like undoing a valve to let steam out of a bioler, thus preventing it from exploding isn't it? At least it was to me...

However, since I got proper psychiatric help I didn't stop... I'm not sure what help you're receiving now... But maybe there's another way in which you could try venting your pain... such as writing for example, a form of art? That's what I work with now, although I'm not sure if it'll work for anyone... still, it's worth a try, right?