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Never had a girlfriend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i'm 17 now and i have never had a girlfriend, i have no problmes getting girls but i usually only see them once and thats it, i feel insecure about this and it makes me feel ugly and that i'll never find true love, mayb i'm not open to relationships but i fear that if i do get a girlfriend i'll b a bad boyfriend bcos i've never experienced monogomy or know what its like to b together wif some1, what will i do

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey dont worry about it, im 17 and never even pulled before so i really dont have any experience. And besides it just means when the right Girl comes along it will be even more special (And she knows who she is :;) )
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm 20 and in the same position. Man I feel old!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never had a proper boyfriend until last year and I'm 21. I wouldn't let it get you down. U just have to not think as if its the end of the world. Ur obviously not ugly as otherwise you wouldn't be even pulling anyone! Try and get to know people a bit more before you just get off with them. Maybe people you know from work or school.

    Besides who cares if you aren't attached. You're only 17 for god's sake! Just get on with having a good time with your mates and don't worry one day your time will come.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I never even Kissed a girl before until last summer and I was 19! LOL I now realise this was due to the fact I was shy and had a low self esteem.

    I still suffer from low self esteem but I am beginning to like myself now which is increasing my confidence.

    Since my first kiss last summer, I've experienced my first love, had a total of 3 "girlfriends" and pulled a 6 girls in total. Now, for some blokes this might be a just an average total for the month, but for me, I'm on form!

    Don't worry about it mate, some people are late developers emotionally and confidence wise, and it's not because your "ugly " it just happened yet. At 17, you've got nothing to worry about even though it will seem like everyone else is doing it.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am in the same predicament. I am 19 and never had a girlfriend! However, I know the exact reason - I have social anxiety disorder. I just feel old and depressed about the whole situation. I have never so much as had physical contact with a female.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I actually want a relationship with someone, but the question is whether they want to be with an inexperienced twat like me. It is seen as normal to have had a girlfriend by the age of 16. I'm 19, and when my friends found out they sort-of 'backed off', and almost refused to believe it. It is depressing.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok first of all you are not alone as has been proved by the comments before my post

    secondly i like to think on the optimistic side of life and think that you will all meet people in the future

    some people have not had gfs by the age of 30 it all differs

    another thing you shouldn't put yourself down

    as for being a bad boyfriend as you've had no previous experience with females I can see where you are coming from but I don't think it will overly matter just ask the love of your life what pleases her .... its better to be friends with someone before getting romantically attached i believe as you then know how they operate (ok i don't mean we girls are a machine though lol)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I remember at school that I was disliked by many people, and I was branded as a freak. These things tend to stick when there is a lack of positive stuff in one's life. However, I am optimistic that I will one day get a g/f, but I don't know when. My parents are refusing to believe that I may spend a large portion of my life as a single guy. My family are constantly asking me "have you got a girlfriend yet?", and all I can say is no. I'm not gonna say to them that I am a freak and it will never happen, but that is what I want to say. In fact, I want to see how long I can go without having a g/f, just to prove to some people that I don't have to conform to their expectations.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Also, how can I 'upgrade' a friendship into a proper relationship? Surely that is risky. I've heard of loads of people who tried that and ended up dropping out.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jacaranda
    its better to be friends with someone before getting romantically attached

    Now this always confuses me. I have been pretty close to girls in the past 'as friends' except when I try to move towards a 'relationship' I always get rejected. I get the "You're a great friend, but..."

    The 'friendzone' strikes again!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    ok i can see that you guys are putting up a case I need some more females to back me up. I think that its just a natural thing if two people are going to become partners it will happen whether its through being friends first or by just simply being aquaintances or something. Ok i am not very clear but I'm only young and I think it would be better if people who are married could offer something on this ... hope you understand me.

    I think that if you want to be hapier in life then you need to think about what it is that will make you happier :) and go for it. I have little confidence at the mo but I am sure that will one day change as i achieve at more and more things.

    I think one thing thats irritating is the fact people think if you haven't had a gf/bf theres something wrong when theres clearly not its just the way of the world... plus if you have had a bf/gf by now then you mustn't be a virgin!

    I think its natural to want a partner in life but we don't really need one or do we? is it just an animal instinct both women and males carry?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well, I suppose there is the animal instinct.

    To quote the great Joseph Elliott:
    "I've got to feel it in my blood. I need your touch don't need your love. And I want, and I need, and I lust, animal."

    But men need women to survive and vice versa. It is known that men & women seek a loving relationship, not just an intimate relationship, if you catch my drift.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by jacaranda

    I think that if you want to be hapier in life then you need to think about what it is that will make you happier :) and go for it.

    Plus I think that if a person has done more things in life it makes them more attractive to other people. I guess it gives you more things to talk about too!

    I went travelling this summer and it was one of the best experiences that I've ever had. I'm still single but it gave me so much more confidence in myself.

    I've also acquired the urge to go skydiving!:crazyeyes :eek2:

    I guess being single at least gives you a good opportunity to find out more about yourself. The girlfriend frustrations tends to kick in more often than not when I'm sitting around not doing a great deal.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey, I'm 17 and have never had a proper boyfriend.
    I've kissed guys before, but it seems to be a problem for me.
    I'd say I was quite frigid/shy when it comes to getting intimate... thus my ex dumping me after 6 weeks coz I was too scared to kiss him. LOL. So pathetic.
    I tend to make great friends with guys by getting to know them really well and becoming "best friends"... It then turns into a "I have feelings for you" situation, which is how they become "boyfriends".
    This has happened about 4 times, but we fell apart when it was time to get physical.
    I'm just concentrating on the other things in life, like finishing my A2 levels, then moving onto Uni.
    I'm hoping that Uni will bring me out of myself, and hopefully, will have a long term boyfriend I'm not scared to get physical with.
    So, don't give up - think positively! I am :)

    Ilora-Danon xXx
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by kosari193

    Besides who cares if you aren't attached. You're only 17 for god's sake! Just get on with having a good time with your mates and don't worry one day your time will come.

    Too right, I had a two year relationship between the age of 16-18, and when I came out of it I realised what I had been missing!! Don't worry about getting tied down, enjoy the freedom. I was restricted in a relationship, but on your own you are accountable to no one. You dont have to tell someone where you are, why you're there, who you're with- you just do it for yourself.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    All my mates have girlfriends & i'm like I want a girlfriend aswell.

    But then I go out with my mate & his girl & i'm like sod that I don't want 2 b tied down & the single life seems a whole lot better & I want 2 get myself sorted before a girlfriend becomes a feature in my life.

    As 4 the friends turning into relationship thing. Recently a female friend of mine that i've known all through secondary & still know now. Was in the predicament of leaving her currently boyfriend who she is engaged 2 4 me. She told me that she had fancied me all this time & she had been out with my best mate several times @ school but she wanted me all along & not him.

    Anyway it was news 2 me that she had these feelings 4 me but I had to let her down gently by telling her that I don't feel anything for her @ all. I mean she is like a sister to me rather than a perspective girlfriend & she knows me more than any of my others friends.

    So we would make a great couple but:
    [carrie from sex in the city style]
    "How can a relationship last without any love?"
    [/end of carrie from sex in the city style]

    .:Crispy:.

    Dunno if anything i've written helps at all but it may :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    girls mess with your head, stay single!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    there do seem to be loads of people in this situation. I'm 17 and i've never had one, haven't pulled for nearly 2 years (proper snogging like). It gets me down but I blame it totally on the fact that I go to an all boys school and I have a slight disability and I'm shy. Any of those reasons are perfectly viable, I think people have to change their attitudes a little and try harder, because the world isn't always gonna come to you. You have to go out and get it. I'm sure once I start pulling again, I'll be okay and it'll just snowball from that. all about confidence people.
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