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For the Girls
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
in General Chat
Right say your breaking up with your boyfriend heres a letter you could leave him. Oh and the names are just random names I made up.
Dear James:
This morning, on my way to work, I saw a rat getting run over by a Truck. Naturally, my thoughts turned to you.
So, how are you? Actually, to tell you the truth, I really don't care how you are. For all I care, you could be covered in fleas, pan handling for euro in Madrid. But I thought I'd ask just to be polite.
Remember all those bud cans you tossed under the sofa during those man u games you used to watch with your beer guzzling, hair-growing-on-their-knuckles buddies? Guess what. I recycled them all, and bought a merc with the money I got. The rest I stashed away into a portfolio of mutual funds.
And that's not all. Remember those scummy night gown you always left under the bed? That's right. Turns out, they grew a new form of mold that cures tumour. I just received the patent yesterday. So I guess our relationship did have some value, after all!
Which reminds me -Who's washing your clothes these days, Mary or David? Are you back to drying your socks in the microwave?
Did I tell you I had no choice but to trade my entire wardrobe? It turns out, nothing fits after the 15 pounds I lost after signed up Brad Pitt as my personal trainer
Hope you're having a great New York,
Louise
P.S. One final thing. Unlike you, I am not afraid to make a commitment. I got married las week to the guy of my dreams. He is not afraid to watch a movie that's got subtitle, knows what antiperspirant is and how to use it, and doesn't always whine, 'I've never had that problem before -honest!'
The repairs for the Cd Player came to 40. Please overnight a bank check, before I have to send over one of Brad Pitt's anabolic-popping buddies. Thanks for your understanding.
Well what do you all think lol?
Dear James:
This morning, on my way to work, I saw a rat getting run over by a Truck. Naturally, my thoughts turned to you.
So, how are you? Actually, to tell you the truth, I really don't care how you are. For all I care, you could be covered in fleas, pan handling for euro in Madrid. But I thought I'd ask just to be polite.
Remember all those bud cans you tossed under the sofa during those man u games you used to watch with your beer guzzling, hair-growing-on-their-knuckles buddies? Guess what. I recycled them all, and bought a merc with the money I got. The rest I stashed away into a portfolio of mutual funds.
And that's not all. Remember those scummy night gown you always left under the bed? That's right. Turns out, they grew a new form of mold that cures tumour. I just received the patent yesterday. So I guess our relationship did have some value, after all!
Which reminds me -Who's washing your clothes these days, Mary or David? Are you back to drying your socks in the microwave?
Did I tell you I had no choice but to trade my entire wardrobe? It turns out, nothing fits after the 15 pounds I lost after signed up Brad Pitt as my personal trainer
Hope you're having a great New York,
Louise
P.S. One final thing. Unlike you, I am not afraid to make a commitment. I got married las week to the guy of my dreams. He is not afraid to watch a movie that's got subtitle, knows what antiperspirant is and how to use it, and doesn't always whine, 'I've never had that problem before -honest!'
The repairs for the Cd Player came to 40. Please overnight a bank check, before I have to send over one of Brad Pitt's anabolic-popping buddies. Thanks for your understanding.
Well what do you all think lol?
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Comments
I didnt think he had but he said random named he had made up.