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i am a mistress....
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
ive bin seeing this lad 4 nearly a year now...but we're not officially a couple...cus hes got a g/f...which he had b4 i came along...in the beginning..it was him who came on 2 me...he brought up the subject whilst chattin on the internet...n id fancied him 4 ages (n hes actually a pass b/f..but that was wen i was like 11,so i dont think it counts..hehe (im 15 now) ) anyways...he has a possesive, over protected g/f...who dusnt let him speak 2 any girls, apart from her mates,n if his fone goes offs,she answers it or reads the txt,who nags at him 24-7...he conctently hasseled..n they r constently arguin...n every1 in the whole school knows it...but,he cant bring himself 2 finish her,not cus he dusnt wana,but cus,evrtime they do,she crys n crys n begs him 2 stay,n makes him feel guilty...n says things like she'll change...n she even knows he dusnt like her anymore,but she dusnt care,she just wants him 2 stay wi her...but unfortunetly 4 me...im left on my own...n i really like him...we've tried evrythin cus its tearing us apart...even spilttin up until theyve split up..but we missed each other 2 much n ended up seeing each other again...i dont know wot 2 do..i long 4 the day that we can hold hands in public...IM GONNA END UP KILLing THE GINGER BITCH...(only jokin, not that desperate...heheheh)...so help!!! ( ....ps...b4 they were a couple..he was seeing this other girl n he went behind her bck wi the girl hes wi now...) <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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Comments
Do you know from your own eyes that this girl knows he doesn't like her, and has begged to stay with him, crying and crying, or are you taking someone's word for it. I ask, because its the standard story of anyone cheating.
My wife/gf doesn't understand me, and we don't get on. I tried to leave her, but she cries/the kids need me/she's ill/she threatened to kill herself. She know's I don't love her, but still insists I stay with her...
Anytime you hear these lines, there is a 99.999% chance it is utter lies.
Look at the evidence for a moment: He's been caught cheating on her so often that she know feels she has to police him, watch his every phone-call and text (No-one does that without a reason). She doesn't let him speak to any girls (because he keeps coming on to them, just as he did with you, and with her even when he was with the girl before, and just as he has with many others SINCE you have been with him too - I'll bet you anything he has others on the side too).
Come on, girl. Wake up. You are 15 now, and surely too old and smart to fall for this stuff any longer? He's played you for four years, and you still haven't got it figured? I know you like him, but don't make yourself a victim. He stays with her, because she wouldn't be his 'bit on the side' so to leave her would be to lose her. You haven't respected yourself as much.
Check it out for yourself. Get suspicious and start really checking out his story. When you find what I know you will, you'll know that I was right. You have nothing to lose but a parasite, and your whole self-respect to gain.
I really hate lasses like you. There are plenty of blokes in the world. Why do you need one who's already taken?
Men are men...a large percentage cheat, but girls owe it to each other not to go for these arsey blokes who want their cake and eat it. Unfortunately there will always be naive girls willing to fall for their bullshit. Which is exactly what it is. When he tells you bad things about her, he is manipulating you.
You're still young, but I hope one day you see the situation for what it is. If not, you're the one who'll end up hurting.
Care to flip the coin?
I go with black night on the method... tell her and if (this is only the eeniest tweeeniest chance) he does like you then he'll stop being a coward and go with you!!!
DISCLAIMER:
(simbelyne does not accept responsibility for pain and grief needlessly inflicted on yourself as a result of ignoring his and others advice)
the same thing happened to me about a year ago. i reallllly really liked the guy and he made out that he really liked me. although i did know that if it came to it, he would choose his girlfriend over me, i guess my feelings for him overpowered that and i carried on seeing him anyway. any chance we got we would see eachother mainly for physical stuff, it wasnt exactly the most emotional 'relationship'.
does anyone else know about it or is it only you two? in my case, a few friends kind of guessed despite attempts to keep it secret. now i look back and think they were probably laughing at me, as it seems kind of pathetic that i was so willing to be his bit on the side. i really do regret what i did, i realise what a twat he was and i feel like a bit of a fool but i couldnt really control it at the time and i really thought we would properly get together.
now we are actually friends, and he split up with his girlfriend for other reasons. at the point when i guess he got bored, we stopped playing around and that was it. i got myself a proper boyfriend and things are far better. under normal circumstances i'd probably hate him now for using me but seeing as no girl has been interested in him for about a year, even at his new college, kind of makes him look like the fool so i guess i've got my own back.
i would say that you should get out of the situation, and think about what reasons hes really doing it for. probably for fun, but could be wrong. just dont believe everything he says. if you truly want to be with him, then let it go and he'll dump his girlfriend to be with you if thats where his heart really lies. i know you said you've tried splitting up until they split up, but i tried that and in the end you cant handle it and end up seeing eachother again. just try and restrain from doing that or you'll be going round in circles.
i understand what you say about his girlfriend practically forcing him to get back with her but to be honest, seeing as you are 15 (and i take it he is around the same age), i can't see how he can be restrained into a relationship in such a serious way. has he told u all this about her or do u know her personally, ie. know what she is like? in a marriage i can understand this (kids etc) but at 15 there are surely ways of getting out of a relationship.
i think he enjoys both these things (the relationship and you) and obviously doesnt want to give up any of them. have you told him that you are prepared to tell his girlfriend what is going on? this might provoke a final decision about what he is going to do.
good luck, hope it goes well
- RS xx <IMG SRC="wink.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
i think deep down you know that if he woz gonna leave his girl he would have done it by now
good luck anyhows
xx deeby doo xx