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Im gettin scared now

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Im really worried about something. U see im 16 ive never had a girlfriend, im not really worried though. But that is the problem, im starting to not worry a bit too much now, as i think im starting to shut girls out of my life for good now, in a very strange way. I keep getting thoughts that, the right girl is going to find me, and she'l be perfect (slim, smart, cute, honest, careing), im also not very big on the socializing front either, cause im real shy, so i know that contruibutes to the problem. But the real sick part of it is, whic hdoes say that im willing to shut girls out of my life for good is that, il wait 10 years or even more for that fact for the right girl to come along. Also im starting to get pleasurous thoughts of rejecting girls now, cause ive never had a single decent honest, kind good looking girl ever like me (they all hated me).

There is more, but i feel i can only answer questions that u ask me bout this. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

Im worried that im going to turn gay (i hate gays in all forms and i think they should all be shot), i really am losing interset in girls now.

I really need to know if its better to just admit that i should just quit while im ahead, before i start feeling sevearly depressed.

Any opinions are welcome.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Johntrevy:

    Im worried that im going to turn gay (i hate gays in all forms and i think they should all be shot), i really am losing interset in girls now.

    welcome to thesite dude. it's a cool place with cool people, many of whom are openly gay. this type of attitude won't get you invited to stay for very long. expect to see some pretty negative feedback for that comment.

    as for your other problem. i was gonna say that what you're doing is natural and healthy. you can always try to chase girls and push your luck by playing an image or a character just to get laid, or you can sit back be yourself, live your life and watch as woman become attracted to who you are.

    you sounded like you have become comfortable with who you are. that is an attractive trait believe it or not, and someday, the girl of your dreams will see that.

    but just because they haven't til this moment doesn't mean it's not gonna happen at all. and if you reject women as some sort of revenge because no one has noticed yet, then you're gonna endup what you fear most... alone.

    and that has nothing to do with homosexuality. let's be real here.

    good luck dude. i hope you sort urself out, because you're logic is kinda troubling.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Johntrevy:
    I really need to know if its better to just admit that i should just quit while im ahead, before i start feeling sevearly depressed.

    You mean how you're becoming perfectly happy in your set routine of life and you can't imagine sharing it with someone else, and you think the longer it goes on like this, the more difficult to sharing would be when you found the right girl, so there's no point even looking any more because it's just not going to work out?

    If so, you're not the only one dude. But don't give up, you will find someone. Give it time and stay positive. Things often happen when you least expect them.
    i hate gays in all forms and i think they should all be shot

    Like Calvin says, if you go around saying things like this you will probably end up being flamed. It's not a nice attitude.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry for what i said about gay people. All the gay people on the board i have offended, Im sorry for what I said.

    Anyway, thanx for that, but it is a more biger problem that what i told u, so like i say...

    Try to ask questions bout it, i give answers, you help me, and perhaps i can help you with something that you dont know, that i do. <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Johntrevy:
    you help me, and perhaps i can help you with something that you dont know, that i do.

    <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; Much better attitude. I like it <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm again real sorry for what i said. But this problem is worrying and it is really messing me up.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    yeah dude. thank you for straightening things out.

    if your concern is that you're not worrying enough about not having success with women. what you need to do is just get out there. go to the shops, the cinema, the pub. anywhere girls will be and just be around them..

    this is help you remember why we guys all want to be around them all the time. and then maybe you'll rekindle that romantic spark. maybe even find a girl you would want to pursue.

    the only want to get over this is to get out there and be among women. shyness is the excuse ur hiding behind. the more you're out there the easier it gets.

    once you make a few mates, i think you'll feel better about yourself.

    good luck dude.

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I know that, because i did do that once, I went down the pub and got drunk, Every1 liked me for that cause i was doing the expected thing (gettin drunk, havin fun), this girl even came up to me, to talk to me, but she went after 5 seconds cause i didnt have a clue what to say <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif">. When i got back to school (ive left now), they were all presurizing me to go again. I really liked going there, but i got scared off when they kept on at me.

    THe thing that makes it even harder to dig myslef out of this hole of shyness and underconfidance is, that when i left school i didnt get any phone numbers off of anyone, and its impossible to meet girls at work becuase its not a teenage orientated (spelling) environment.

    This is so hard to understand myself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    she'l be perfect (slim, smart, cute, honest, careing),

    Who says the perfect girl has to be slim?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Because, i have never found myself becoming attracted to a big girl. She doesnt have to be slim as in annorexic, but she has to be slim as in, caring about her own body enough to make herself look atractive to boys.
    Im a bit outa shap, but im going to try to make an effort by working out so i can have a girl who is slim. That is if things do actualy work and i dont end up giving up hope completely, so i cant even think about another girl atlall.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    O well it dosnet matter ne way. ive got 2 years until im going to b 18 (thats when things will definately start happening, otherwise there is somthing wrong with me).
    IT SUCKS BEING 16, i want to be 18, i could od what i want then. like go to clubs and get drunk.

    Time if advancing slowly, feels like crap.

    Love advancing slowly, feels like a eternity diviness.

    Time advancing fast, feels great.

    Love advancing fast feels like an eternity of nothingless.

    Either way ur screwed.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Somehow I don't think getting drunk is the answer to this problem, mate <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

    seriously though, I felt the same way as you except the other way round, me being female <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt; then I started meeting guys more, socially as opposed to school and work, and I gradually became more comfortable around them. and now I have a bf <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; so the answer is basically confidence and being able to talk to a member of the opposite sex without clamming up. you sound as if you're happy to wait for the right girl rather than jumping straight in pursuing everything in a skirt, which is great, a wonderful attitude <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    so keep at it, meet girls in situations where you can talk, preferably sober-ish!

    good luck <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    This is the first day of the rest of your life.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Don't beat yourself up about it.

    My best mate was always shy of girls and he was well into his twenties before he met his first 'real' girlfriend. He's just about to get married (guess who's best man!) and I couldn't be happier for him.

    You shouldn't set a time limit because life isn't that organised. Be confident, remember there is nothing WRONG with you, it's just that sometimes women don't see you for what you ARE. They will, and that special person is out there looking for you too.

    You are still only 16, life is gonna throw you alot more curve balls yet, relax and enjoy it. It's what living is all about.

    "Her hair reminds me of a warm, safe place
    Where, as a child I'd hide"

    http://www.livejournal.com/~manofkent
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