Is it ever ok to cheat?

Former Member

I've been with my boyfriend for ages, and we're settled and quite happy. But on the weekend, I bumped into an ex lover. He always had the upper hand before, but this told I told him I didn't want him and that nothing was going to happen...but we kissed. So that's that, a drunken snog... but now he wants to meet up, but I don't want to jeprodise my current relationship (especially since we're going through a rough patch at the moment).

Is it ever ok to have a one off thing? Because the lover doesn't care any thing more for me, even though I do (or did) for him.

Confused.

If I do go ahead and be naughty, surely my relationship is doomed....or is there any way I can have my cake and eat it?

Former Member

Re: Is it ever ok to cheat?

Originally posted by MsWhite
Is it ever ok to have a one off thing?

In my opinion you need to think about it like this....

Would it be ok if your boyfriend bumped into an ex, had a snog and then met up with her? I'm guessing you'd not be too pleased if he did that to you, which would answer your question :rolleyes:

Former Member

Re: Re: Is it ever ok to cheat?

Originally posted by Faith
In my opinion you need to think about it like this....

Would it be ok if your boyfriend bumped into an ex, had a snog and then met up with her? I'm guessing you'd not be too pleased if he did that to you, which would answer your question :rolleyes:

#


Yeah...i know.

Nnnngh

Former Member

Maybe you should finish with your blokey? I always think that if you want to cheat then there's gotta be something wrong with your relationship in the first place.

Former Member

Re: Is it ever ok to cheat?

Originally posted by MsWhite
or is there any way I can have my cake and eat it?

Nope.

Former Member

No.

Former Member

NO! It's never, ever, ok to cheat. Period.

Mr_Wobble

Former Member

It's excusable that you kissed him if you got carried away, but it's most definitely not ok to meet up with your ex again. It shows you don't care enough about your boyfriend or your relationship, so something must be wrong - either don't see the ex, or confront the problems with your own relationship, maybe even end it before seeing the ex again.

Think how you'd feel if it was your boyfriend doing it to you. You'd be worried that he didn't care about you or respect you, and that there was something wrong in the relationship - wouldn't you?

Former Member

I have a real thing against cheating.

I always assumed it was just common decency to end one relationship before starting another one.

If you want to meet up with an ex lover, in my book, that's fine...
...but kissing him isn't
...and wanting to take it further, or expecting it to be taken further even if you don't want it to defenately isn't

Former Member

that doesn't stop anyone though does it?

Former Member

Originally posted by n00b1e
that doesn't stop anyone though does it?

and your point is?

Former Member

it's never excusable... but it happens. people are human.

Former Member

short answer? NO.

long answer? NO. if you want to be a whore, do yourself a favour and break it off before you run off... surely you can keep your pants on long enough to give your current boy/girl an excuse?

Former Member

Its never OK to cheat. You say you and your bloke are having a rough patch...maybe if things were going better in the relationship you have you wouldn't be tempted by your ex at all. You can either end your relationship, or work through whatever problems you are having. I'd stay well away from your ex until you have sorted out things with the relationship you already have

Former Member

if you look at what cheating actually is, in a general way (not just relationships); its breaking the rules in order to get a little bit extra. While some people say the rules are there to be broken, because other people do obey the rules, then you aren't being fair to them at all. I guess if it's not a very nice person, and you don't give a shit then you wouldn't care about breaking the rules to get a little bit extra (even though they lose out).

So is you're boyfriend really that bad? Or are you just acting out of selfish desire. Be decent to him, if you're going to cheat on him he's better off without you so do the right thing and end it with him. The alternative is to just not cheat, no matter how hard that sounds :rolleyes:.

If you choose to cheat and not end it, then you are automatically showing what you think of your boyfriend, that you dont care what you do to him as long as you get a bit extra.

Former Member

no. it is never ok to cheat.

Former Member

i dont think it is ok to cheat, ok a drunken kiss fair enough, but arrangin to meet him again.. nooooo.

Former Member

We all know she'll come on here in a day or 2, all upset and wanting sympathy cos her boyfriend finished with her :rolleyes:

Former Member

Cheating is never ok. It only causes pain and mistrust.

Former Member

Is it ever ok to cheat?

No.

Former Member

Originally posted by Faith
We all know she'll come on here in a day or 2, all upset and wanting sympathy cos her boyfriend finished with her :rolleyes:

Lol, yes indeedy that's inevitable!

Former Member

I guess if you feel the need to cheat on your 'loved' one then something is missing from your relationship.

There are a couple of ways around this. Either split with your boyfriend and look for someone else who satisfies whatever craving or need you have. Or, talk to your boyfriend about whatever is eating at you. Don't cheat on him - it's a sure-fire way to destroy someone's confidence if (more likely when) they find out.

I think everyone has had the curiosity of wondering about other flings while in a relationship - it's human nature - resisting the temptation is the test.